I figured out when my hardest time of day is. It's lunchtime, when I fix the kids' lunch and am putting all sorts of goodies on there for them. Playing The Grocery Game is ultimate fun, but I think part of the reason I enjoy it is I get to buy all sorts of yummy things that I myself can't eat. If you're wondering, I give my family lots of fruits & veggies, but they still eat some SAD so that's what I buy too. So - lunchtime. By then my breakfast is long since forgotten, my tummy is growling in anticipation for the next meal, and I *hate* eating when the kids are fussing at me. Seriously, it give me indigestion. Something about a child's crying that really messes things up inside - as far as relaxing and enjoying a meal goes, anyway.
So I wait until after they've all got their meal and are eating, then I make mine. Cheeto's call me. Pizza Pockets call me. I realized that two things I really drool over are chips & fried things. Like taquitos, pizza pockets, cheeto's, chips dipped in things like salsa & cheese. So what I need to do, since I know these areas are harder for me, is to grab a banana or two before I even start making their lunch. Then I'll see them for what they are, and the interest will be gone. It's funny because today my kids are having strawberries, bananas, and raisins along with their pizza pockets & chips, and of course what I want is not the fruit, LOL! I want it to become so much a way of life for me, that those things actually don't even turn my head anymore.
I can totally tell it's a binge-related thing, like a need for .... something. Which makes me think. What other areas in my life are stressful for me right now? I know I put way too many expectations on myself and pretty much routinely don't live up to them, as far as things I need to do every day. So I get down on myself - like emptying out my inbox (which I need to do for my business), updating my website (every 2 weeks the newest newsletter issue needs to be put up online), and of course putting up auctions and shipping out packages.
That's just online stuff! There's lots of housework staring me in the face, and I have a nice list all typed up next to my computer of things to do every Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday, etc. That pretty much never even gets attempted. Hmmm...how can I change all this? Make my life less of a stress for me and enjoy it, not turning to food to drown out my feelings of inadequacy? When the problem very well may be that I need to realize I do have five children 7 & under, so duh, there's alot of extra things that take time. Like feeding my 10 month old DD - 10 minutes. Potty training my 2 year old DD - 10 minutes, every 30 minutes going to the bathroom to try to go. My 7 year old DD - wants me to play Nick Jr. with her - 20 minutes. These things take time, and they're good reasons why I haven't been able to get everything done that I really want to.
Well, the day is almost over and I wasn't able to stay all raw today. I had some roasted/salted pistachios, then some pizza I made from Grands! biscuits for the family for dinner, and then three packages of wafer cookies - six small sticks. I'm not going to beat myself up for it, but I am going to change my ticker back to day 0. My goal is really to stay 30 days raw - with NO cheating. I'm kind of bummed today because (before I ate SAD) my stomach is just sticking out so much more than it was before I started, even 4 days ago. Kind of a downer - I'm just so tired of looking 3 months pregnant! But time...it takes time. There were also some emotional issues going on today as you can tell from what I wrote earlier....but at least I know I'm going to be back on track tomorrow with no varying.
For food I don't know really what I ate today - again - I ate mostly bananas, salad w/avo, mango, macadamia nut dressing, and raisins. Plus my little SAD detour. Waaaaah I want my dates & pistachios to come!! I don't have a date for the dates (no pun intended, LOL!) but the nuts should arrive on Thursday. Yay!
I'm also going to ORDER THE BOOK as soon as I get my "blow" money this weekend. DH & I are going to start getting $50 each per month to spend on whatever. We can spend this guilt-free, save it, whatever. Looking forward to that!
Tomorrow is a NEW day!
Goal from now on: 1lb of greens per day whether it be by smoothie or salad! Today it was about 7oz.
2 comments:
You do sound really busy! You definitely need a break once in awhile.
I'm glad bananas are working out for you. Aren't they easy? I think that's why I like them so much...just peel and eat. The ultimate fast food! :)
YES Sherah...you have 5 kids 7 and under. Stop beating yourself up.
I find what helps to keep chaos at bay is making up a step by step list of hoe a REAL, TYPICAL day goes at my house(not how I wish it would go)and then analize where you time waster's are(computer is a biggie) and then take tose out of your list and add a reasonable time in where it would work better. Then divide your whole list into blocks. For example:
wake up 6:45am
then you list everything that you normally do minus your time wasters until the nest time you NEED to get something done by. Lets say lunch.
Then its your next block etc etc. See my blog for more details. It's not a schedule with times such as 5pm -5:30 pm type of thing so it's not as overwhelming but it helps with self discipline and is realistic to achieve. Also there are many shortcuts you can do to keep your house nice. Not perfect, but decent. Again more details on my blog. For those of you who don't have access to my private blog...here is my public one
http://me-mama.blogspot.com/
There is definately less stress when I am not overwhelmed with housework.
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