Same day cont'd

I just wanted to pop in and say that today went really well. Not perfect, but really well. I didn't exercise, oops, I actually totally forgot about it! But probably just as well - my brother came over to hang out for a while, then my sister from Virginia called and we talked for a while amidst my going from room to room as crying kids followed me, lol! Finally I locked my bedroom door and went into my closet and shut the door while they were banging on my door saying that someone or other was teasing. Is it just me, or do kids have this special radar that says "Be naughty when Mom is on the phone"??? =)

I ate 100% raw up until dinner time - and so did Jack. This is actually a big milestone for me, because usually I am able to eat raw until about 1pm when the kids are napping and I want to just veg at the computer and eat something that sounds good. Usually chocolate, or crackers/cheese, whatever. I made an absolutely scrumptious Ham & Potato Soup from scratch with homemade Rosemary Bread for the company we had tonight. I fed some to Jack and also had some myself - but not too much. Okay, well maybe a little too much bread.

But looking back, I actually felt pretty good today up until about 45 minutes after I ate that dinner. =( So tomorrow will hopefully be better...I plan to try Kale Chips in my dehydrator if I can scare up all the ingredients. They've received lots of raves and I want to up my greens so...I'll let you know how that goes.

Jack & I finished the day by sharing a coconut - he got the milk, which filled up an 8oz bottle and I got the meat (but I missed the milk; I love it too!!). I let him try an avocado - he was really brave, swallowing the first bite but shuddering a little bit. Didn't want another bite, though. So I mixed half a large avo with about 5 partially thawed strawberries and he had 2-3 bites of that, no problem. Then I think he just wanted to go to bed with something to drink, it was about 10:15 at that time. We'll see how much he drank in the morning....I'm so happy that he likes the coconut milk!!

Week 13: Day 3 ~ Baby Greens & New Inspiration!

Ahhhh yes, I love the feeling of new inspiration! Funny, too - it came in the form of wanting to feed Jack more raw. I stopped feeding him formula about 2 weeks ago since he is now 1 year old and considered old enough to drink cow's milk instead of formula. I am definitely NOT one to advocate cow's milk in the least, but since the formula I fed him WAS cow-milk based, and expensive, I figured might as well give him non-fat milk (which is what my other children drink) when he wants a bottle. But not often, since he mostly eats solid food anyway.

Almost to the day I started doing that, like 2-3 8oz. bottles in the course of 24 hours, he isn't sleeping through the night very well. He gives me the impression that he is hungry when he wakes up, and not wanting to do the full-blown in the highchair feeding, I give him the bottle. But it doesn't seem to last him very long. Sometimes he just fusses and he just drank the bottle.

I'm leaning more towards fresh juice and/or diluted canned juice - but I know that can rot the teeth. I would also like to start him on more nut mylks and also coconut milk - but both of those are kind of spendy to be feeding a baby 3 8oz. bottles each day.

Then I remembered the book I bought long ago when I was feeding Marie solids for the first time - called "Baby Greens". I spent about an hour reading it this morning while the children played and I got so inspired! Everything I have learned in the past came rushing back as I remembered why I love eating raw SO much. And how I feel so awesome on it!

But I also realized that pretty much, I shouldn't be so hard on myself for not being able to eat how I want to, because I honestly have been pretty sick. I've been in the "coping" stage for the past 2 months and the main priority was just to keep going on, keep going on, however I could. But now I think I'm at the point, 13 weeks, where if I am able to eat raw I think it will turn things around. Last night I spent the majority of the evening on the couch feeling awful, and I'm tired of that. I know it's probably because of how I ate yesterday - spaghetti w/beef (although organic), pancakes w/peanut butter & syrup, amongst other things.

I'm also inspired by the little kicks I am starting to feel. To realize that there is a precious baby inside of me who is greatly impacted by what I put into my body. I look at Jack and remember how I was mostly raw during my pregnancy with him, and how is body is probably used to that and will thrive on that kind of diet even now.

I'm excited to start again! I'm not going to say, "We'll see how long this lasts" or anything like that - I'm going to take it one day at a time. If I fall, then I'll get back up again and keep going on. I plan to skin brush once per day, and also do some sort of exercise each day, even if it's just 15 minutes in 5 minute increments! I'm feeling quite restless in that area, actually, and have been wanting to go on power walks for some time....so that is going to be nice, to feel the blood pumping in my veins and feel that muscle soreness the next day. The feeling that means - LIFE!

Starting weight: 127
Week 8: 130
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 132
Week 11: 135
Week 12: 136
Week 13: 137

Going back to my pregnancy with Jack to compare...at 13 weeks I was also getting into powerwalking. It was almost summer so that is different compared to the bitter cold & snow/ice we've been experiencing, but at this point last pregnancy I wrote,

"I can't BELIEVE this, but I've actually been power-walking 3 miles every morning for the past 4 days!"

Pretty cool! Must be about that time. =) Weight-wise, I weighed 142 at this point for week 13. Realizing that made me feel so much better about my weight gain! I think I look at myself and think ugh, FAT! But in reality, I'm 5lbs less than with Jack, and I ate MUCH better with him! By week 14 I had only gained 9lbs, though, so that kind of shows the difference.

I feel newly challenged to give my children more raw food. I know for a fact that when I am eating all raw, they eat WAY more raw simply because, well, they always want what I'm eating, lol! This morning I made OJ for my breakfast and Marie (2) immediately headed to the drawer to dig out a straw for her share. Later I opened a coconut to give Jack the milk in his bottle (which he loves! Yay!) and both Marie & Grace (4) begged for some of the coconut meat.

For lunch, I served bananas cut in slices using my egg slicer, and thawed some strawberries to make a strawberry/agave sauce in the vitamix to pour over (picture at the top shows the yummy creation!). My kids were really hungry and every single one of them dug into the bananas first - before anything else! I got my slicer for Christmas and I'm excited to use it on kiwi as well as other soft fruit to make it more fun for them. Plus, less cutting work for me! =)

Jack and I have officially been 100% raw for half the day...baby steps! There's more I wanted to write but I can't remember now. I'll add more later if I remember....

Week 12: Day 2 ~ I feel like I'm going to cry...

I'm feeling rather emotional today. I feel like such a failure, this pregnancy so far has been such a hard ride for me after my last one. I've done things much differently as far as eating goes this time around, though, so I'm not sure why I expected it to be the same. But regardless, it's been much more of a "grin & bear it" type of pregnancy, compared to my last one that seemed like I wasn't even pregnant most of the time.

I figured it out, though. When I was pregnant with Jack, I went on a Master Cleanse for at least 10 days, I think it was. Then I ate mostly raw after that - and I got pregnant with Jack right about at the end of the cleanse. Thus, my body was cleaned out and ready to receive the baby and I continued on without getting sick because there was no junk in my system.

With this pregnancy, I was also on the master cleanse when I got pregnant (what is up with that, by the way? lol!) but then due to emotional eating (didn't know I was pregnant) I went way downhill and ate quite a bit of junk for like 2-3 weeks in a row. It seems like after that, I could never get back to just eating 100% raw. And when I did, I was still sick so it was like...what's the point? My body never had the chance to get cleaned out before pregnancy.

But anyway - here I am, on week 12 and I do feel better as far as nausea goes, at least. I would venture to say that it's about 98% gone, with just the occasional deep breathing needed to get that feeling away. But I can't stay away from junk! And I'm also gaining weight, quite rapidly it seems like. On the scale during week 11 I was at 135, then the next day 136 (9lbs in the first trimester? I guess it doesn't seem so bad when I put it that way). I know, though, that weight can go up & down each day so I'm counting it as 135 in the "official" pregnancy weight log. I haven't dared to weigh since then...I can't deal with that right now, as I have continued to eat badly. I probably weigh about 140 right now. =(

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut - I want so badly to eat raw and have a wonderful pregnancy again - I KNOW it can be done, but for right now, it seems like my body still feels awful whenever I try to eat all raw. For like half the day I eat raw, determined to stick it out, then I give in and eat burritoes or grilled cheese sandwiches or whatever else strikes my fancy. Even a beef whopper from Burger King & fries one day! Almost always followed by chocolate or cookies or something full of sugar, and usually not just one. Then I feel sooo awful the rest of the day and it's all I can do to just take care of the kids. Why am I doing that to myself? I KNOW the results!

I hope that I'll be able to look back on this post in a month or two and be relieved that it didn't last, this funk that I'm in. I actually think that if I can pull myself out of this rut, I'll be able to see the success and continue on.

Right now I'm noticing these things that are definite warning signs, things that were different before:

Dull, lifeless hair
Weight gain (more than the normal should be)
No glow - my skin is also dull
Body odor
Acne
Bad gas

Maybe I can get excited about new recipes again...that usually helps. I suppose it's a little more rough because of the holidays and all the candy/chocolate available that comes from gifts and stocking stuff. And it doesn't help that my family all eats SAD - but the thing is, all of these things are obstacles that I've overcome before. It's just never been this severe, my inability to do what my head/heart wants to do, vs. what I actually do.

Well, our friends are due to arrive this evening, the family of five children ages 8 & under - for our Christmas holiday. I plan to eat all raw while they're here - for some reason it REALLY motivates me to eat well when people are watching - I suppose because I don't want anyone to know how much I eat ridiculous amounts of things sometimes. So here's hoping that on Friday when they are gone, I'll be able to log on and say HEY GUESS WHAT?!! I've been all raw for 3 days and I feel fantastic!

Starting weight: 127
Week 8: 130
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 132
Week 11: 135

Week 10: Day 2 ~ Day 4 of 100% Raw!

First of all, my weekly weigh-in:

Starting weight: 127
Week 8: 130
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 132

I decided to do an experiment. On Wednesday & Thursday of last week I didn't do very well with eating raw; I ate ALOT of SAD stuff - kind of like whatever I wanted. On Thursday I ended up being really, really sick - I threw up in the morning after eating a bunch of chocolate chips (second time THAT has happened; lesson learned - stay away from that much chocolate!) and then had nachos later that afternoon; very sick.

I'm getting nervous because we're having company for Christmas, a family with five young children. I know I CAN'T handle that while being this sick! I just can't! I totally "check out" and don't care about anything when I'm that sick, laying on the couch and poor DH gets all the work in his lap. It's one thing if this is just how it is, but it's another thing if I can control how sick I am. You know? If it is up to me, then it truly isn't fair to my family when I eat things that make me sicker.

So my experiment started on Friday - I decided to be 100% raw for a whole week and see how I do. IF I feel tons better then I'll go with the company coming. But IF I still feel totally sick, I am going to have to admit I can't handle it and cancel our plans....which I know is going to make the kids so disappointed.

For the first two days it was incredible! I was 50% better the first day, and 75% better the second day. I even went to Walmart on the second day, at 8pm and shopped for an hour with three of the older kids - and I am usually my sickest at night. So that in itself was pretty awesome.

On the third day, though, I went to church with four of the older children while DH stayed home with the younger two who were sick. I felt pretty good, overall, and stayed there until about 2:30 eating my bananas & chatting with the other moms who were there eating lunch w/their families.

It totally went downhill from there. I came home and ate 30 dates with pecans, which is an absolutely scrumptious dessert, by the way. Obviously, or I wouldn't have eaten so many, lol! I am *thinking* that it is possible I felt so sick because I didn't take care to eat very well. About an hour later I had one thai coconut w/the meat & milk - and then after that, 3 small oranges. I felt progressively worse and ended up feeling nauseous and totally out of it - I ate a smallish "taco" salad before bed and hit the sack at 9pm.

Here I am laying on the couch - this is typical; Jack thinks it is SO cool to have Mom on his level! But I have to cover my face...he also thinks it's fun to give me a "high 5" in my face. =)



I'm thinking I just let my stomach get too empty, and also I probably tried to do too much and got way overtired. The dates are rich in calories so they made me feel satiated but my stomach wasn't full. Today - I am sorely tempted to throw in the towel and gobble up all this SAD food that sounds super good to me - especially the beef spaghetti casserole & homemade rolls we had for dinner last night. I feel like throwing caution to the wind and just scarfing down a whole plateful, and also an Arby's bacon swiss chicken sandwich. What in the heck? Where is THAT coming from?! I know what meat does to me, and it's not pretty!

Probably because I haven't eaten yet this morning and I am super hungry right now. Kind of zoning out sitting here. I really wanted a pina colada and was preparing my tastebuds for that, then realized I have no pineapple or mangos. Darn it! OJ will have to do.

Yuck

I had to write a new post to get that gross looking Arby's sandwich off of the top, lol! Yes, I did end up going to Arby's and ate 2 beef n cheddar sandwiches, curly fries, and sip or two of a shake. Now I feel sick.

The yummy looking salad at the top of this post is what I made for lunch (Before the Arby's!). I had two BIG plate fulls which consisted of:

One small head of green leaf lettuce
1 mango
1 small avocado
6 macadamia nuts
6 large strawberries

The macadamia nuts are for the dressing. I don't actually put them on the salad - I put them in my vitamix with a little water, maybe 1 T. and then 1/4 of the Mango. Mmmm the combination of the two is just delicious, creamy and smooth with some chunks of nuts for crunchy effect. The oils in the nut blend to make it really good, especially when mixed with the sweet of the strawberries and the rich taste of avocadoes.

I was carrying my plate to the table in much anticipation of a delicious lunch, and it slipped out of my hands! The ENTIRE gooey mess all over my, ahem, not exactly sparkling clean carpet. CARPET! Ugh. Fortunately I was able to rescue most of it but ate it with much trepidition. The second plate was better - it was really good!

I'm going to eat raw for the rest of the day today.

Week 9: Day 4 ~ Arby's is calling me!

I want an Arby's beef & cheddar melt on an onion bread bun. Actually I want two or three of them. With curly fries & perhaps a Jamocha shake.

There. I got it out. lol! It's because of their dumb full-color flier that came in the mail yesterday full of coupons for 4/$5 melts and a free shake. It's funny to me how the thought of beef just makes me shudder when I think of it in the form of ground beef or some kind of stew meat/roast. I just can't handle the thought of putting that into my mouth - and it's not just the queasy pregnancy. I've always been like that since I watched the DVD "Eating". But when it's in the form of something like a roast beef sandwich where the meat is sliced so thin and doesn't resemble the fat juicy steaks.....it's OK. Weird huh?

By the way - "Mama" - would you like to watch that? I'd love to send you the DVD...it's absolutely incredible and the clearest DVD I've ever seen that gives you insight on the food we eat and what it does to our body.

The actual diet itself seems rather complicated to me, but it's kind of like a glorified raw diet - allowing alot more cooked but encouraging the reading of labels which I personally have never been able to do very well. I have the book too which I can send you - but it's the DVD that is the best. The book kind of makes my eyes glaze over.

Yesterday was fun! We had a family movie night - Narnia - and ate dinner early. Or at least, tried to - DH started telling a story at dinner about a little boy & how God answers prayers to the kids, and it took longer than I thought. It's interesting how I was getting impatient and wanting him to hurry up and finish so we could finish dishes and get on with family MOVIE night - when all the while, what he was telling them was so much MORE important than any movie. Good revelation, that!

We moved the couch sideways so there was enough room and dimmed the lights w/the Christmas tree glowing and got all cozy in our pajamas & favorite blankets. Of course all the little ones wanted to sit with Mommy, and that lasted for about 10 minutes and then I had to hand the 2 year old off to Daddy. My tummy was feeling quite squished. We made popcorn and quickly polished off 6 packages of microwave popcorn - wow! Good thing I got them for so cheap with coupons; I can see why big families find it cheaper to just pop their own. This was kettle corn though, mmmm!

Yesterday was quite the failure when it comes to eating raw, but it was actually a good day. I wasn't very sick, which is strange. There seems to be no rhyme or reason with this morning sickness thing. I had alot of Cheeto's and Doritoes, lots of chocolate chips, and then splurged with a $5 footlong veggie subway sandwich. Which I polished off & was still hungry after that! Later that night I had alot of popcorn and then a bunch of roasted pistachio nuts.

But I also had six oranges juiced and a big 32oz. chocolate shake, and two large apples before bed. So I guess the point is to look at the good things I ate...and start over today. If that darn Arby's wasn't calling me!

On Monday I made it over to Lifesource, our local organic restaurant that has all the expensive raw food bulk stuff. I got the stuff for my fav. salad and I'm going to go whip some up right now. This morning I had 3 big grapefruits juiced, yum! One meal at a time, one meal at a time.