5 Weeks...

So much for my 4 weeks, part 2 post that was supposed to come, LOL. I have been and am, so completely overwhelmed that I can't seem to find time to write on here! I want to, I NEED to write about everything for therapy LOL - but it's so crazy.....aaack! Right now my house is just sadly drooping for need of a good cleaning and I am torn in so many directions that I feel like I'm going crazy. Like I'm spinning in circles and while I know alot needs to get done, NOTHING is actually getting done!

Yesterday I woke up with Harmony at 6:15 and DH had planned to take the 4 older kids to the beach in time to catch the low tide at 9:15. We were almost out of milk for our standard breakfast of oatmeal so instead I got ambitious and didn't go back to sleep with the baby, but made french toast and homemade syrup (we were out of that too). So I worked hard (with BMM music playing!) all morning to get everyone up and fed, out the door with everything they needed.

I had alot planned in my mind to do, but not much got done even though I worked HARD the entire day! Not once did I actually "play" - I felt like I was dizzy from doing everything. It's weird that when you work hard to clean, take care of the kids, etc - you can look around at the end of the day and it seems like actually, not much got done at all. I try not to be disheartened, especially due to the many many posts I have read from different moms that this IS just how it is. The housework - it actually never really gets "all done". LOL. It's just a rinse, repeat, sort of cycle.

My weight is really depressing for me (teetering between 146/147) - I just never seem to be able to lose that postpartum baby weight when I'm nursing (still 20lbs to go). I hate it when I can't seem to control it, like nothing I do can make it budge. It seems to come off only when I do the master cleanse, AFTER I am done nursing. But I have been working hard exercising (T-tapp) the past 4 days in a row - and I feel really good about that. I can tell that I need those endorphines to give me that boost up & away from the baby blues. Now if I can just get the other half straightened out, the eating half.

It's been a real struggle for me because when I don't see results (inches or weight lost), I get very disheartened. I eat 100% raw all morning, and in the afternoon I seem to just fall apart and eat like 2 bagels, 4 cookies, etc. Then I get my act together and by dinner/evening time I'm all raw again. I stay away from meat but that's about it - ice cream and bread seem to be my major downfall right now. I know if I let myself go, REALLY let myself go, I'll gain 10lbs in a snap - it's happened before after I had baby #5 and ate brownies every day for like an entire month, lol.

I feel like this post isn't very encouraging, sorry about that. Sometimes I get tired of being all positive and only posting on here when things are hunky-dory. I want to be able to manage my home and it just seems like it's falling apart. I have so many littles but not THAT little - they should be able to help and they DO, but it's only when I make them that they help, you know? So it's easier not to, sometimes, and just let them be and do it myself. I wish I had a better chores system in place...but I keep telling myself that once school starts I'm going to REALLY work on a routine with them. That's in 2 1/2 weeks though. So in the meantime?? Hmmmm.

But then it never gets done because I finally get on a roll cleaning or whatever project I've decided to tackle and then oops, it's been 3 hours already since the baby nursed and she is crying. And oh no, I forgot to put dinner in the oven on time and oh my GOSH the bills! I forgot to do them, and they're due um...2 days ago. And the laundry, uh-oh, I put a load in the washer yesterday but forgot to transfer it to the dryer and now they're mildew-smelling. And there are MOUNTAINS of clothes in the garage, and in my room - mostly in tubs but also helter-skelter in several piles as well that need to be gone through to determine what exactly we have for fall/winter for the kids. And speaking of clothes, I have like 2 pairs of pants, 1 pair of shorts, 2 skirts, and 2 shirts that fit me. Or at least, that don't make me look retarded. And I'm so tired....so, so tired.....

And then there are computer needs - 124 emails waiting to be answered, my Halloween costume ebook waiting to be updated and marketed. And my online Ebay newsletter that should have been written and sent out at LEAST 3 weeks ago, and a 2nd one is already due. Can I just bury my head in the sand? Oh, wait. I've already been doing that...

PS after I wrote this, I decided to read up on how I felt after Jack was born. It's so cool to have those posts to refer back to! And right at 5 1/2 weeks I wrote that I had just gone through a really rough week with baby blues and that it was really overwhelming, etc etc. So I'm thinking, hoping anyway, that this is going to pass and I'll be refreshed and good as new in a week or so? I hope so.

And THEN I found this post! Granted, this is FOUR months postpartum (as opposed to 5 weeks right now!) but I saw some very awesome results weight-wise so...I'm seriously thinking about switching gears and doing that again. The 80-10-10 raw food (which is actually what I naturally eat like when I'm raw, I don't lean towards excessive fats at all) and the weight lifting workout. I'm excited about that idea, and I might do it, but I'm going to think about it a bit more first.

4 Week Postpartum Update, part 1.

Wow, time has flown by sooo fast, yet so very very slow. Is every postpartum and new baby so hard? Maybe I just forget, but it seems like this time has been so trying....so exhausting...so slow. I know I tell myself that if I can just make it to 4 weeks, that is when it starts getting easier. Is it really true? Will it ever get easier? Right now I'm feeling so discouraged, there is so much to do in my home and....and.....and I can hear your response now:

Sherah, stop having so many demands on yourself! Of course you're not supermom, of course you're not REQUIRED to have lost all your weight already and fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes, to have that perfectly clean house and to have a baby who sleeps through the night already, to have dinner on the table complete with at least 3 courses by 6pm, to be exercising and meeting all the needs of the children. Ugh. I need to really think about my priorities and LET GO of all of these dumb expectations I put on myself. I have a feeling no-one else expects that much of me!

Tereza, your words echo in my head often, letting me know that I am not alone in feeling overwhelmed AND not able to keep up on the house all the time OR get on a schedule and stick with it. Thank you for making me feel not so alone! =)

I think that, honestly? I just long for things to get back to normal. I want our nice family routine that we all thrive in, back. I want to be able to get up in the morning feeling rested, before the children awake and be able to complete my workout routine & shower before I start the day. I want to be able to go places and do things like I used to, without having a baby in tow who starts crying at the most inopportune times EVEN THOUGH I know she's not hungry and should be sleeping.

Sigh.

Well, I had a nice long post all planned out but...Harmony is crying and it's been 3 hours since she nursed last, so I better scoot. Time to settle in for a nice 40 minute cuddle time nursing my wee one, and remembering the finer things in life like relishing the softness of tiny newborn feet and the long sweeping eyelashes of sweet eyes that have a little piece of heaven in their innocence. The downy hair of a newborn's head and the little tiny fingers that clasp onto me as if her life depended on it. More later. =)

2 Weeks Postpartum Update

Weight Check:

End of Pregnancy Weight: 162
3 Days PP: 154, 8 lbs
4 Days PP: 152, 10 lbs
5 Days PP: 150, 12 lbs
6 Days PP: 149, 13 lbs
1 WEEK PP: 148, 14 lbs
8 Days PP: 147, 15 lbs
9 Days PP: 146, 16 lbs
2 WEEKS PP: 145, 17 lbs
~ 18 lbs left to reach my pre-pregnancy weight of 127!

My weight loss has slowed down quite a bit! No weight loss in 5 days, then down just 1 lb. I knew that would happen, it's good to be back to "realistic" life. =) Today starts my working out - I plan to go powerwalking, we'll see how that goes. I won't go as far as I normally go, I'm going to be carefully in tune with my body to see how it reacts and once I get those "that's enough" signals I'll stop. I am feeling steadily better every day, but I can also tell when I overdo things and then I have to go lay down.

Last night was my first time going out & about - we attended a memorial feast for a good friend of ours at Church. DH & I brought all the kids to my MIL's and just took the baby with us. I felt great the whole time - it was fun to show everyone our sweet little Harmony and of course, tell bits & pieces of the birth story as people asked. Afterwards DH put the kids to bed while I fed Harmony, then watched a movie with DD10 - I felt like I didn't overdo it at all, my stomach was not burning and my heart pounding like I've been experiencing if I do too much. It feels good to be getting back to normal.

My friend who is helping us, our "nanny" - her last day will be next Friday. That will be 3 1/2 weeks postpartum for me, and judging by how I'm feeling better each day, I think it's perfect!

Harmony seems to be solidly in a 3-hour routine for now, which is super nice! For the past 4-5 nights she has consistently woken up to be fed every 3 hours. That gives me a good 2 hours of sleep in between the 1 hour feeding/changing/burping sessions. I'm going to be working with her to get on a schedule this week. Probably waking her up at 8am every morning to nurse, "play", and sleep in that order. Then again every 3 hours.

I've been vegetable juicing every single morning, about 2 1/4 cups worth. They say it takes about a week to really start noticing results - what I'm looking for is a cleansing of my system which will result in feeling GREAT, along with a healthy complexion and glowing skin. I know exercise is also going to help with that, so that's why I'm anxious to start getting my blood pumping and cleaning out the system - this also helps, combined with skin brushing, to get rid of cellulite. Which I've accumulated a rather lovely bunch of that on my legs & behind. Every morning I include carrots, celery, half a small lemon, & one apple, and then any combination of zucchini, broccoli, tomatoes, and cucumbers.

Today I'm headed to the farmer's market to stock up on more produce - I love that I'm getting tons of veggies in my diet again! Watermelon has kind of fallen by the wayside since I always used to have that for my breakfast, but I plan to incorporate that more into the afternoons when I usually have a hard time sticking to raw. Today is day #3 of 100% raw! =) I am LOVING this time of year, it is so easy to stay raw with all these choices!!! Cherries, watermelon, peaches, all kinds of berries....ah, pure heaven. I have started putting a big brown bag that says MOM'S in the fridge that stores my fruit, cuz otherwise it'll be gone in a split second. My kids love fruit so much but if I was to give it to them exclusively, we would be spending triple our budget on food. =(

Belly Bandit Review w/pics!

Review of the Belly Bandit! This is the one that I bought - I know, OUCH on the price, but I figure I can 1) always sell it, 2) loan it to friends, and 3) use it again if I have another baby. Win-win! Still, I know, ouch.

I received my belly bandit 3 days ago, at 9 days postpartum. That day, I measured my tummy starting at the belly button and going around my back: 36.5" around. Today, after wearing it for 3 full days I have lost 1.5"!! Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe my stomach would have gone down on it's own but I VERY much doubt it for the simple reason that it never has before. Never after any of my other 6 pregnancies has my stomach been this flat, just 12 days after having the baby.

Hey, this is cool. I have pictures taken of me here at 3 months postpartum after having Jack, my most raw pregnancy ever. see how my stomach is pretty flat, as in straight down, not much "bump" anymore? My stomach NOW at not even 2 weeks postpartum, looks a teensy bit flatter than that picture. Is that crazy, or what? I still can't believe it myself, it goes to show that this belly binding thing is seriously effective.

Now, about the wrap itself. I have to admit, it doesn't look that pretty while wearing. Well, actually, it DOES look really nice in the waist area, for sure! Sucks in even more of my tummy so that I have about a 34" waist when I'm wearing it. That is a pleasure because it actually goes under the waistline so whatever bottoms I'm wearing look really nice next to a flat tummy and nicely curved back. The problem is at the top. It creates the worst muffin top ever - right under my bra strap. A black shirt helps to camouflage it, but any other color top it looks downright disturbing, unnatural, and not very attractive. I imagine that the more weight I lose the better it will look, but probably by the time I lose that much weight it will be time for me to take off the wrap anyway.

So I don't plan to wear it in public, or at least not anywhere that I care what people see, lol. But that's okay - it's actually been fun to take it off when I shower and lay in the sun, because I'm just so amazed at this crazy flat stomach that is looking back at me in the mirror. Is it for real? Is it going to stay? I'm not taking any chances, so I'll be wearing the bandit for the recommended 40 days 24/7.

The wrap itself is really soft and has this special anti-sweat breathing type of material and while I do feel hotter in it, it's not uncomfortable at all. Unless I cinch it too tight, of course. I'm able to sleep in it just fine, and it feels really good on my back and stomach as far as support goes. When I take it off, I feel a little like my stomach is going to just fall out which is kind of weird. I wonder how it does affect the ab muscles ... but I am thinking that running will also help strengthen those muscles.

So a HUGE thumbs up on the belly bandit from me! I can't imagine what kind of results I'll get in 40 days if I've already lost 1.5 inches in just 3 days. Maybe it needs that long for everything to learn how to stay where it should, as far as the organs go and such. With my last pregnancy, I was so frustrated with that annoying bump in my stomach that was ABOVE my belly button - I asked my midwife what it was, and she said it was the organs still trying to move back into place. So that must be what the bandit helps, because there is NO bump now for sure. My stomach is still really jiggly and all, but under clothes it looks great! =)

Edited to add:
At 2 weeks postpartum, I took a picture of the results...I don't have actual measurements, but you can see the difference! This is after wearing the belly bandit as much as I could for 5 days. It makes me wonder what progress I would have made if I'd have started wearing it immediately after giving birth! Next time....!