"....for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart!" Galatians 6:9
This verse came to me just now as I was feeling rather emotional about several things going on in my life right now. First of all, I just came back from a double semi-root canal and the numbness is wearing off so...everything is feeling rather, um, overwhelming due to that throbbing sort of pain kicking in. I was told that they are going to finish the FIRST one on June 1st, at which time they informed me that I will have to pay $615 for just that one. No payment plan? No. Okay, breath deeply....
Then DH called to say he's not going to make it home for dinner due to working at our church, and last night he wasn't able to come home either. Which normally is totally fine, it's just another thing. You know.
It's been a really busy day as I took the four older ones to swimming lessons this morning, then dropped them off at Grandma's while I went to the dentist. The younger two were at home with another babysitter - so I just got home and the house is in need of a good cleanup.
When I find myself to be quite weary of doing the tasks that have been given to me, I have been thinking of that verse. It is my heart's desire that I not grow weary both in the sense of being tired of doing the seemingly same work each day, but also not weary in my spirit. Money in particular can tend to be a heavy burden for me, as I have no idea how we're going to pay for this baby in July, and also pay to attend our yearly summer conference, as well as a van since we will no longer be able to all fit in our 8-seater car. And now the root canals - together costing $1230 which is almost as much as the baby is going to cost! I'd much rather have the baby, lol.
But anyway, as I surveyed my home and found myself sighing wearily and the tears threatening to come after I got DH's call that he won't make it home - I realized I must fight to keep my faith fixed firmly on Him so that I don't become weary in my spirit. No matter what, that I don't let that spirit come into my heart.
I have the promise that I SHALL REAP if I do not lose heart - and as I came away from the dentist, I lifted up my hands in surrender to Him (no, I didn't physically do this in the parking lot, lol) that it is not my burden to bear. He has promised that He will provide for us, and that is all I need to know - not HOW or WHEN or WHY or WHO or WHAT, those thoughts that always try to get in the way of peace and rest.
And as always, it comes to me that I am so thankful for the rest that He gives.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Monday, March 09, 2009
Week 23: Day 2 ~ I'm so exhausted!
But it's a good kind of being tired....I've been working hard all day! It's amazing to me how much difference eating raw makes in my energy. As soon as I introduce anything cooked, but mostly cooked with dairy/sugar/meat/processed foods, within 5-10 minutes I feel almost like I'm dragging heavy chains with me wherever I go. I have not required a nap most days since leaving my first trimester (that super tired, heavy eyes time!) and that is such a blessing.
This morning I had my usual - 3 medium avocados w/1.5 cups water, 1/4c. raw cocoa powder, 1/2 cup agave, and 1/2 cup of raw coconut flakes whipped into a fluffy mousse in my Vitamix. This pudding is so delicious I have been craving it every single day, usually in the morning, and I LOVE how satisfied I feel for HOURS after eating it. It usually keeps me for a good solid 3 hours, and in the meantime I have lots of energy.
So this morning I was able to not come out of rest with the children (working on, "A soft answer turns away wrath!") and answer them kindly when they were spazzing out about something. This is the #1 thing I love about eating raw, my brain works better and more clearly so in turn, I am a much better person to be around!
In addition to that, I was able to get so much work done! As I sit here typing, the house is clean and tidy with the counters clear and 3 loads of laundry folded/put away. There is serenity and peace - it's something that I love SO much about a clean house! And also, naptime. =)
Of course, I still have MUCH more to do - the floors need swept/vacuumed, the bathrooms need attention (how does toothpaste accumulate on the mirror/sink/walls SO fast? I thought I just washed them, lol!), and the bedrooms.......oh, dear. They're quite sadly lacking at the moment. Oh, and dinner! I need to figure out what to do for that - it's not too late to pop some bread in the breadmachine; I love using it! But I'm happy with what I've done so far today - it makes the day go so much more smoothly when the main part of the house is clean, as in I wouldn't freak if someone happened to stop by. =)
My March 100% raw challenge is going fabulously!! Somehow I've been able to change my mindset so that I no longer kick against eating healthy...sabotaging myself. I've been 100% raw for 8 days now, except for 2 occasions where I had one meal of cooked food each time (homemade pizza, veggie sandwiches, sweet cereal w/almond milk). I feel really good about my progress so far, and have managed to still keep off the 3lbs that I originally lost when I went raw on March 1st. I weigh in at 148-149 every morning and that has been a relief (20lb weight gain so far)! I'd been consistently gaining 1.5-2lbs per week before this, and while I know that might sound somewhat normal, it's not! It's not necessary to gain 50-60lbs in 40 weeks, and I'm so glad that with Jack I experienced how wonderful and healthy feeling it was to only gain 25lbs total.
I'm struggling somewhat with my method of buying groceries. While we have been able to cut down on our food budget tremendously, feeding 8 people on $480 per month including toiletries + a large amount of produce for my diet, I am finding that I'm getting physically tired of doing coupons. Not tired as in I don't enjoy it, but it does take quite a bit of time to put together the best deals possible and then of course, finding the time to actually go out and purchase them is a challenge.
DH is more than willing to watch the children so I can go grocery shopping 1-2 times per week (or I'll take them with me if I'm brave enough but usually regret it), but I personally hate leaving them! I love staying home. I wish sometimes, that I could just shop twice per month and then be done with it. Plus, knowing that I'm going to only get bigger and more tired as the months continue through July makes me realize it's going to get more difficult to do multiple transactions like I've been doing to get the best savings. Sometimes I've actually done up to 7 separate transactions at one store - going to my car, going back in, purchasing, back to the car, back in. The main store I shop at, Safeway, has a special additional $2 off per transaction coupon so that's mostly why. It gets tiring when you have a big tummy that starts to ache from standing/walking too much.
BUT - then on the other hand, the savings are so wonderful! Can I sacrifice this small amount of comfort to help in our goal of becoming debt free? For instance, on Saturday I spent $12 to get $140 worth of groceries. I did it in 4 separate transactions and got:
2 12oz. deli meats
4 packages of bandaids
2 packages of toddler granola bars
2 boxes of Frosted Shredded Wheat cereal
3 boxes of Raisin Bran cereal (I use these to make muffins - yum!)
20 boxes of Life cereal (we go through one a day, usually)
15 packages of 4-ct. single serving fruit for lunches
8 boxes of fruit snacks
10 lbs of oranges
That is ALOT of food for just $12! And all of it is things that we use on a regular basis, especially for making lunches more interesting. Yesterday, I was able to buy 24 packages of Huggies diapers for just $.56 (in addition to 6 bottles of shampoo/conditioner that were completely free with coupons). I know that sounds completely impossible, but basically I spent $80.56 out of pocket for the diapers and received $80 back in gift card-type coupons for that same store. This is HUGE savings, obviously, and will help tremendously when I have 3 in diapers this summer (if DD 2 is not potty trained by then).
So I guess we'll see what the future holds...
This morning I had my usual - 3 medium avocados w/1.5 cups water, 1/4c. raw cocoa powder, 1/2 cup agave, and 1/2 cup of raw coconut flakes whipped into a fluffy mousse in my Vitamix. This pudding is so delicious I have been craving it every single day, usually in the morning, and I LOVE how satisfied I feel for HOURS after eating it. It usually keeps me for a good solid 3 hours, and in the meantime I have lots of energy.
So this morning I was able to not come out of rest with the children (working on, "A soft answer turns away wrath!") and answer them kindly when they were spazzing out about something. This is the #1 thing I love about eating raw, my brain works better and more clearly so in turn, I am a much better person to be around!
In addition to that, I was able to get so much work done! As I sit here typing, the house is clean and tidy with the counters clear and 3 loads of laundry folded/put away. There is serenity and peace - it's something that I love SO much about a clean house! And also, naptime. =)
Of course, I still have MUCH more to do - the floors need swept/vacuumed, the bathrooms need attention (how does toothpaste accumulate on the mirror/sink/walls SO fast? I thought I just washed them, lol!), and the bedrooms.......oh, dear. They're quite sadly lacking at the moment. Oh, and dinner! I need to figure out what to do for that - it's not too late to pop some bread in the breadmachine; I love using it! But I'm happy with what I've done so far today - it makes the day go so much more smoothly when the main part of the house is clean, as in I wouldn't freak if someone happened to stop by. =)
My March 100% raw challenge is going fabulously!! Somehow I've been able to change my mindset so that I no longer kick against eating healthy...sabotaging myself. I've been 100% raw for 8 days now, except for 2 occasions where I had one meal of cooked food each time (homemade pizza, veggie sandwiches, sweet cereal w/almond milk). I feel really good about my progress so far, and have managed to still keep off the 3lbs that I originally lost when I went raw on March 1st. I weigh in at 148-149 every morning and that has been a relief (20lb weight gain so far)! I'd been consistently gaining 1.5-2lbs per week before this, and while I know that might sound somewhat normal, it's not! It's not necessary to gain 50-60lbs in 40 weeks, and I'm so glad that with Jack I experienced how wonderful and healthy feeling it was to only gain 25lbs total.
I'm struggling somewhat with my method of buying groceries. While we have been able to cut down on our food budget tremendously, feeding 8 people on $480 per month including toiletries + a large amount of produce for my diet, I am finding that I'm getting physically tired of doing coupons. Not tired as in I don't enjoy it, but it does take quite a bit of time to put together the best deals possible and then of course, finding the time to actually go out and purchase them is a challenge.
DH is more than willing to watch the children so I can go grocery shopping 1-2 times per week (or I'll take them with me if I'm brave enough but usually regret it), but I personally hate leaving them! I love staying home. I wish sometimes, that I could just shop twice per month and then be done with it. Plus, knowing that I'm going to only get bigger and more tired as the months continue through July makes me realize it's going to get more difficult to do multiple transactions like I've been doing to get the best savings. Sometimes I've actually done up to 7 separate transactions at one store - going to my car, going back in, purchasing, back to the car, back in. The main store I shop at, Safeway, has a special additional $2 off per transaction coupon so that's mostly why. It gets tiring when you have a big tummy that starts to ache from standing/walking too much.
BUT - then on the other hand, the savings are so wonderful! Can I sacrifice this small amount of comfort to help in our goal of becoming debt free? For instance, on Saturday I spent $12 to get $140 worth of groceries. I did it in 4 separate transactions and got:
2 12oz. deli meats
4 packages of bandaids
2 packages of toddler granola bars
2 boxes of Frosted Shredded Wheat cereal
3 boxes of Raisin Bran cereal (I use these to make muffins - yum!)
20 boxes of Life cereal (we go through one a day, usually)
15 packages of 4-ct. single serving fruit for lunches
8 boxes of fruit snacks
10 lbs of oranges
That is ALOT of food for just $12! And all of it is things that we use on a regular basis, especially for making lunches more interesting. Yesterday, I was able to buy 24 packages of Huggies diapers for just $.56 (in addition to 6 bottles of shampoo/conditioner that were completely free with coupons). I know that sounds completely impossible, but basically I spent $80.56 out of pocket for the diapers and received $80 back in gift card-type coupons for that same store. This is HUGE savings, obviously, and will help tremendously when I have 3 in diapers this summer (if DD 2 is not potty trained by then).
So I guess we'll see what the future holds...
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Enjoying my Children & Loving my Life & Home!
No, this is not my home (Grin) but it might as well be! No matter what our home looks like, be it big or small, rich or poor, we can make it as beautiful and warm as we want it to be. I'm realizing that a warm, loving, and inviting home is NOT made up of the fancy things of this world - those things that look so alluring and enticing when you look in catalogs or go shopping. It is something that comes from the spirit in the home and the care that the queen in that home takes to make it so, that really makes a difference.
My home might not be a mansion, it might not even be CLOSE to a mansion (lol - I don't think 1190 SF can be remotely called a mansion!) and it might be lovingly called the Salvation Army collection, but when I take pride and joy in making MY home a place for our family to truly call home, then it is so! I don't know what made me think of that this morning, but as I woke up to truly the most beautiful morning we've had yet, I just had such a joy in my heart for the blessing that God has given me, in my home and in my children. And everything else that consists of my life, including having 7 babies in 10 years. Some might see that as a heavy burden, but nope! It truly has been the best thing I could EVER imagine.
I have also been enjoying my children so much. Especially the littlest ones, it is truly something that God ordained, to have those very little ones be so so so precious. Because, of course, they get into quite a bit of mischief as well as lots of stinky things like poopy diapers that leak all over and slimy food in their hair. LOL I was just chuckling the other day because as I was changing my 2 year old's poopy diaper, diligently trying to get her all clean, she farted right in my face! I was laughing because all I could think of was, that is probably the grossest thing to someone who has never had kids, but when it's your own, your very own little treasure from heaven - even that is so cute! Ha ha!
My mom told me once (she has 11 children) that having little ones around when the bigger ones get older is so therapeautic, and I can see what she means now. I don't have teenagers yet, but I also refuse to listen to those who say how hard teens are and JUST YOU WAIT you're in for a hard time! That to me, while it may be true or not, is just not something of faith for me to dwell on. I want my heart to be that I always think of the good in my children, never the dread of certain stages.
But anyway, my point with that is to say - when the older ones are more of a challenge, the wee babies are so special, sweet, innocent, and like balm on a wounded heart. I'm sure you know what I mean. Lots of kisses, hugs, adoration, and completely unconditional love. They truly are precious and I hope God gives us even more in our life than the 7 (almost) we have been blessed with.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Week 22: Day 3 ~ Day 3 of 100%!!
I'm so thrilled that I've been able to make it this far. I think it all has to do with mind blocks - if I block the thought of eating SAD food out of my mind, and the only option is to eat healthy raw vegan, then it seems like it's really easy. But every time I say that it's "easy", I usually have a really hard time right after, lol!
I am down 3lbs today since I started. Very encouraging, although obviously I am not in the least looking to lose weight since I'm pregnant, but I am hoping to slow down the weight gain so that I don't feel so heavy and don't end up with a 40-50lb weight gain which is where I was headed. I know these 3lbs are probably water weight anyway - and on this 3rd day, most of the SAD heavy food (breads, meat) should be out of my system. I'm going to be focusing on 1lb of greens, ground flax seeds, and taking my prenatal vitamins each day to keep my nutrition up to par for the baby.
I'm noticing, though, that when I take care of the discipline in my life to eat healthy for myself & the baby, other outward things seem to fall into place. Such as, I am motivated to exercise each day and so far have been able to do that. I also have a much calmer mind and I am able to deal with the children without junk food in my system which means....not so much irritation.
Although, I had to chuckle today because I got up early this morning for prayer time and to read through Proverbs 31 a couple more times. During my prayer it was really on my heart that I am patient with the children today - so that they don't ever have to see me in a hard spirit towards them because I want to do MY thing.
It was a good time of prayer, a good way to start the day, and everything went so smoothly getting the children to school. After that I usually put the baby back to sleep and it's just me & the two little girls 2 & 4 for the morning. They usually watch a movie or color quietly while I enjoy a nice hour or so on the computer.
Not so today! My DS 6 complained of his tummy hurting, which he rarely does, so I let him stay home from school. He was in the other room watching a movie and as I was finally settling down with a big bowl of salad (I was super hungry!) he called to me. Then he started calling me every 2-3 minutes! I would tend to his needs (which usually consisted of talking about throwing up and how it's OK to do that, and I would come running as soon as/if I heard him doing that), walk back into the room to sit down at the computer, put one big bite of salad in my mouth, and then he'd call me again.
Ha ha! Talk about stretching my patience! I wanted to eat my breakfast in peace, and I was tempted to think things like, "Leave me alone! You're not supposed to be here right now anyway...." Isn't that awful? I immediately crushed those thoughts, and instead said out loud to him, "Isaac, I am so glad you're home with us today! I love it when you are here with us." And it felt good to truly mean it, too.
Then DD4 who was nearby on the couch with my laptop playing Barbie Repunzel, decided that it was a good time to involve me in her playing. Usually she plays happily by herself, but today about every 30 seconds she would say, "Mommy! Which picture should I color?" or "Mom, isn't this beautiful?" All she wanted was for me to turn to her and give her an answer (genuninely, not just an absent minded "uh-huh") and then she was content.
During this time my demands were rising up and then it just dawned on me that I am ONLY ONLY ONLY going to learn patience by being tested! God does not just magically grant me a ton of patience out of the blue so that I am perfect immediately after I pray. He brings me situations that try me in that specific area, and why do I sit there wishing it would be different? Or wonder why this morning seems to be particularly trying?
This is the verse that is on my heart today, Proverbs 31:26:
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, And the law of kindness is on her tongue."
I am down 3lbs today since I started. Very encouraging, although obviously I am not in the least looking to lose weight since I'm pregnant, but I am hoping to slow down the weight gain so that I don't feel so heavy and don't end up with a 40-50lb weight gain which is where I was headed. I know these 3lbs are probably water weight anyway - and on this 3rd day, most of the SAD heavy food (breads, meat) should be out of my system. I'm going to be focusing on 1lb of greens, ground flax seeds, and taking my prenatal vitamins each day to keep my nutrition up to par for the baby.
I'm noticing, though, that when I take care of the discipline in my life to eat healthy for myself & the baby, other outward things seem to fall into place. Such as, I am motivated to exercise each day and so far have been able to do that. I also have a much calmer mind and I am able to deal with the children without junk food in my system which means....not so much irritation.
Although, I had to chuckle today because I got up early this morning for prayer time and to read through Proverbs 31 a couple more times. During my prayer it was really on my heart that I am patient with the children today - so that they don't ever have to see me in a hard spirit towards them because I want to do MY thing.
It was a good time of prayer, a good way to start the day, and everything went so smoothly getting the children to school. After that I usually put the baby back to sleep and it's just me & the two little girls 2 & 4 for the morning. They usually watch a movie or color quietly while I enjoy a nice hour or so on the computer.
Not so today! My DS 6 complained of his tummy hurting, which he rarely does, so I let him stay home from school. He was in the other room watching a movie and as I was finally settling down with a big bowl of salad (I was super hungry!) he called to me. Then he started calling me every 2-3 minutes! I would tend to his needs (which usually consisted of talking about throwing up and how it's OK to do that, and I would come running as soon as/if I heard him doing that), walk back into the room to sit down at the computer, put one big bite of salad in my mouth, and then he'd call me again.
Ha ha! Talk about stretching my patience! I wanted to eat my breakfast in peace, and I was tempted to think things like, "Leave me alone! You're not supposed to be here right now anyway...." Isn't that awful? I immediately crushed those thoughts, and instead said out loud to him, "Isaac, I am so glad you're home with us today! I love it when you are here with us." And it felt good to truly mean it, too.
Then DD4 who was nearby on the couch with my laptop playing Barbie Repunzel, decided that it was a good time to involve me in her playing. Usually she plays happily by herself, but today about every 30 seconds she would say, "Mommy! Which picture should I color?" or "Mom, isn't this beautiful?" All she wanted was for me to turn to her and give her an answer (genuninely, not just an absent minded "uh-huh") and then she was content.
During this time my demands were rising up and then it just dawned on me that I am ONLY ONLY ONLY going to learn patience by being tested! God does not just magically grant me a ton of patience out of the blue so that I am perfect immediately after I pray. He brings me situations that try me in that specific area, and why do I sit there wishing it would be different? Or wonder why this morning seems to be particularly trying?
This is the verse that is on my heart today, Proverbs 31:26:
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, And the law of kindness is on her tongue."
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