So happy to let my fingers dance across the keyboard once again, as my thoughts flow out onto the screen! So happy to share my life with you, and to realize the richness that *is* my life, to focus on the good and be so thankful for what God has done and will continue to do!
Ah, where to begin. First I will start with my schedule as it is currently. It is always changing, the ebb and flow of life, and I find myself fascinated over the years at the schedule I used to keep. How did I do that?? How did I manage all that, without breaking down into sheer and utter exhaustion? I find that for each moment, God gives grace.
He just does.
He has to, you see....He has promised. And I have realized through the years that I have ALWAYS felt overwhelmed and like, I can't handle what I have been given. There are MOMENTS like that. But then, they pass. And I look back and see that a lot of it honestly, is just the feeling of being overwhelmed. And THAT is ok. Because that is what brings me to my knees, my totally capable self is no longer able to cope! Hello??? God has so much to teach me and help me with, but if I am like this awesome mom who never has any need for HELP, then I never even think to go to Him. So now, when I get into moments where I am in a frenzy, there are wild thoughts of I CANNOT DO THIS!!!!!!! ---- I remember.
In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.
The storm will pass. It always does. But I must go through it to learn....and come out the other side.
So my schedule.
This year, I have 6 children in 3 different schools. It has been interesting to say the least, juggling three different starting & ending times, and trying to keep everyone sane! I'm thankful that my husband has a flexible start time in the morning, so as it fits, he is able to bring some of them to school while I take the others.
6:25 - My alarm goes off, I gradually wake up while checking my email & facebook/blogs.
6:35 - I drive Rachel to her bus stop. We have transferred our older 5 children out of our school district so that they can attend a K-8 country school, and Rachel is now a 9th grader so she goes to the highschool also in that district. It takes me 8 minutes to drive to the grade school, and 12 minutes to get to the highschool. So we are thankful that the bus is able to pick her up at the closest bus stop at 6:45 am, which is about 4 minutes away. Some days, Bret is able to bring her directly to school on his way to work, and those days they leave right when I am getting all the other kids up for the day, around 7:30.
6:45 - Arrive back home, go back to bed for a while. Love that part! It is really nice to have a little bit of peace & quiet before waking the kids up.
7:15 - Up & dressed, then wake the remaining 7 kids as soon as I'm ready, around 7:25.
7:30-8:15 Crazy, chaotic mornings. I SOMETIMES will get all their lunches & clothes ready the night before, but really and truly I am so tired by the end of the day that I just don't have energy left to do anything more.
On these school mornings, all of the children for the most part are able to pick out their own clothes & dress themselves except for the baby. Charlie is 22 months, and usually has a diaper that demands attention immediately --- as his most favorite thing EVER and the first thing he thinks of, is a bottle refill. I give him 2oz of water + just a drop of almond milk enough to make it white, and he is happy as a clam. =)
I make all their lunches (however Rachel has begun making her own this year, since she leaves so early) --- which this year consists of their individual favorites:
James12 - pb&j sandwich, regular flavored sunchips, whoppers (candy), goldfish, grapes, & chocolate-peanutbutter granola bar.
Isaac11 - tortilla with chili, Ranch Doritoes, whoppers, goldfish, apple, & granola bar.
Grace9 - 4 hotdogs, ketchup in a container, any chips, whoppers, goldfish, grapes, & granola bar.
Marie7 - tortilla with chili, any chips, whoppers, goldfish, grapes, & granola bar.
I try to make all of their lunches the same as best I can - they all usually get the same 2 snacks, & dessert. I try to also make extra rolls/breadsticks for dinner so I can add them to their lunches with some honey inside. My goal is 2 homemade snacks and 2 homemade desserts per week in their lunches, but it's all part of the ebb & flow ya'know. =)
For this 45 minute span, I am doing like a million things at once. Fixing girls hair, tying shoes, talking with Isaac while he makes bacon, helping Marie figure out her outfit -- very important things. =)
8:20 - Either Bret or I will take them to school, depending on his schedule for the day. I love it. I really enjoy the drive in the country, and the 8-10 minutes with their undivided attention. We talk about many things -- sometimes deep things like heaven and what it means to get treasures up there. Or about hot air balloons and what makes them float. Sometimes we fantasize about having a bigger house, or how awesome it will be someday, when we get a van that has EXTRA SEATS (can you imagine? Right now we are stuffed to the gills in our 8-seater SUV) so that they can actually pick where they want to sit!
8:55 - Time to take Jack to school! He is in kindergarten this year, and I chose to enroll him in our neighborhood school which is just 2 minutes away, rather than the country school 8 minutes away. It's just too far, too much, too many trips for me to go there 3x in one day. Only problem is, the country school bell rings at 8:40. With an 8 minute drive, if I get them there right when the bell rings, that still puts me home at 8:50. Jack's school starts at 9:15, so the earliest he can ever get there is 9:00 when the school doors open.
Which leaves a nice 10 minute (at the least) gap where I am either sitting in the car twiddling my thumbs, or I get them to school earlier so I can come home and get a whirlwind clean in before taking him to school. Kind of a pain, but we make do, and it all works out!
9:15 - babysitting swap! This year, I realized that it is a first for me. I now have an almost 2 year old and I am not pregnant! WOW! Normally I am about to give birth, and that has happened to me 3 times now, with three babies I was due in the fall and it was pretty crazy trying to juggle a new year of school with having another baby!
This year I don't have a small baby like last year (he was just 10 months old at this time last year) AND he is old enough to....go to a friend's house to play! There are a few moms in the area who also have preschool age children and no babies this year -- so 3 of them, I am doing a sort of babysitting swap as it fits. Each and every week is different which is actually kind of nice...my goal is to have at least one morning free, and one morning babysitting. Some weeks I end up getting two days! Jen brings Macy over, Melody brings Eiley, and Judith bring Jeremy. The next week, I bring Harmony4 and Charlie1 to their house to play. If I can, I like to double up on watching them too -- makes for a fun playdate for them, and gives me more days with just my own kiddos.
This is very new to me, as my whole married life I have been so overwhelmed to the point where I feel like I am drowning with what I currently have. The thought of adding in children on a regular basis, was like inconceivable. Now, with just two at home my mornings are very quiet & I (heart) them.
Also, I have the best mother in law like, EVER -- she really wants to be with the children and get to know them, become someone special to them. And she is, they love it at her house! So I have also talked to her and it looks like Tuesdays work for her to have them come play. I bring them right after dropping Jack off at 9:15, and then pick them up after getting him from school at 12:00.
What do I do? You know, and I know, that I *should* be using them to get in a good solid workout, 3-mile run, and shower. Or hit the house hard and get in an awesome cleanup/deep clean.
But. Yeah. It's kind of like my candy time. One day I used it to prime my whole family room. Can you imagine, 2.5 hours of uninterrupted painting while listening to my favorite fitness podcast? Ooooh so dreamy and so.much.got.done! Another time, I went to Goodwill and spent as much time as my little heart desired just browsing for anything and nothing in particular. One of my favorites, and probably not to be repeated many days in a row lol, was when I watched 2 of my favorite shows at 45 min each, while eating whatever my little heart desired. That day, it was chocolate...animal crackers...pistachio nuts...black bean burger...frosted flakes cereal with almond milk! Yes, a silly free eating morning which I thoroughly enjoyed. I DID contemplate ordering pizza but they weren't open yet. HOWEVER if I wanted to? I could have just driven there in a flash, no kids to get ready or carseats in & out. Ah ... love these mornings and they are, simply, treasured.
9:15-10:00 So on my normal days, Charlie sleeps during this time! But mostly, has quiet time. Sometimes he ends up falling asleep for only 15 minutes, but this is a time that I treasure. Just for a little bit, I only have Harmony. Every morning this is my time to either workout, or cuddle with her while she has a fruit snack & watches Caillou...and I have my phone in hand checking email, texting, facebook, whatever. 3x a week I try to work in a full body workout which usually takes about 45 minutes -- but it's something I definitely have to pysch myself up for to really HIT IT HARD, and it never is set in stone as to when it'll happen.
10:00-11:45 - I clean, clean, clean during this time and I am LOVING it. Just, absolutely adoring the fact that I can do so much in so little time, and for the most part, Harmony & Charlie play very well together. They don't really make messes either, or MAYBE it's just the fact that there are only two of them and I can quickly redo whatever it is that they have undone. I try to also plan ahead what I will have for snack for the kids when they come home from school. They really love it when I have something special for them - and it makes it a much easier transition from school to home when they have that to look forward to on the ride home from school.
11:45- pick Jack up from school. He is a happy boy, and loves to announce that he had a good day at school!! as he gets into the car. Charlie greets him with a joyful, "Hi Chack!" and we zoom on home to get lunch ready. I usually just do a very simple pb&honey sandwich, a few chips, and a little treat for lunch. Sometimes carrots or broccoli with ranch for Harmony, but I find that they just don't like or eat much else. It's fine, simple, short but sweet.
12:00-3:00 Charlie sleeps. It is SO nice. He doesn't sleep the whole time, but just plays and sings or talks in his bed. I think it's nice for him, and somewhat of a relief maybe, to have this time by himself since he is #8 and adorable and EVERYONE always wants to play with him and inevitably takes away a toy or makes him cry in some way. He's like the cutest little person and we all love everything he does. So being alone is probably nice for a bit, for him. He sleeps in a room with 3 other boys so even at bedtime and in the morning, he is never alone like he is during his two daytime naps.
Jack & Harmony play fairly nicely together, especially when they have a big project they are doing like Thomas the train wooden tracks, or the Megablocks. They also love playdough, which I make for them sometimes in new & fun colors (hmmmm maybe a good idea for today!). When it's hot out, they'll play for hours with the hose & on the trampoline (our rule is it has to be 75 degrees out or hotter) -- another fun thing to do, is take a bath together with lotsa toys. Around 2:00 they settle in for a short movie & a snack, usually a fruit snack (total and utter complete waste of money nutrition-wise, but it is super fun and special for them) and a cheese-stick.
During this time, I will make up a workout that I may have missed in the morning...whirlwind clean clean CLEAN....enjoy my 1st meal of the day such as a yummy broccoli cheese omelet or black bean burger while watching my favorite episode of Revenge, The Good Wife, etc...work on a project such as painting while listening to something edifying or inspirational...make dinner &/or snack...do bills. I am loving the mix & match of children during the day -- having just Charlie & Harmony in the morning, and then Harmony & Jack in the afternoon. My days while the children are in school are used wisely and very much cherished, every single minute.
I have enjoyed VERY much, a fairly clean house so far, these first few weeks of school. I make it a priority every day before the kids come home, to at some point do the necessities to make the house tidy and running smoothly. Every single day while they are gone I do the following basics at a minimum:
Start, and finish, 2 loads of laundry.
Clean the whole house except for the bedrooms & bathrooms, beginning with the family room. I clean the family room, kitchen, dining, entry, living room, and hallway.
Sweep the kitchen floor
Unload, load, and run the dishwasher -- clean counters, put breakfast food away.
Make or plan a snack & dinner
Sometimes when I am really overwhelmed and every single room is a big fat mess --- I think, "Feed the machines!". It helps me to concentrate on putting a load in the washer, unloading/loading the dishwasher, and putting something in the crockpot. It starts my mind in the cleaning mode. Then I walk over to the computer room and just start cleaning it. ONLY that room. Once it's done, I'll move on to the next one.
3:15 - we are off to get the 5 older kids from school! At 3:10, Rachel catches a bus from her highschool to the children's grade school. This is a big help for me, because if she doesn't catch her bus...my little ones end up being in the car for a good 45 minutes to first go get the grade schoolers, then go to her school a bit farther. She is learning to catch the bus =) =).
Often on my way to pick them up, I pray for patience and that the law of kindness will be on my tongue. It is just as big of an adjustment for me to go from having 3 kids, to having 8 again...as it is for them to transition from being at school, to back at home again. At school they are one of 20-30 same age students, with just one teacher. At home, there is one loving Mommy for each one of the age that they are. They NEED my attention, all of the, at once, and it can be oh so overwhelming for me! I fight that dread feeling, because I feel so incapable of being nice when they are yelling over each other and one is crying, the other is kicking one while he's climbing over them to sit in the back. I know this time is coming, this transition time, and I know it is hard for me.
So, I pray.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
37th birthday & things I am thankful for...
Today, I am 37 years old! Feels so weird to write that. But I suppose it will always feel strange, that new number that I become every year. Two days ago Bret & I also celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary! It is kind of surreal that I was married when I was 20 years old, so in a few short years I will have been married, more years than I have been single.
My life right now? Totally, and completely wonderful. I love it. ADORE it. It's funny because, I remember when I was younger, what I wanted to be when I grew up was just a stay at home mom. I did end up going to one year of college, because obviously before I MET my husband, I couldn't very well just sit on my hands and wait for myself to become that stay at home mom. But the thing that I find humorous, is that so often God gives us the desires of our heart, and then we tend to complain about them! Isn't it true?!
Sometimes I find myself thinking, MY LIFE SUCKS on a particular day when, you know, things just ---- happen. Things like I finally manage to wash the floor on my hands & knees, and then, one of the littles accidentally spills like an entire 32oz cup of BLUEBERRY SMOOTHIE all over. Or, the baby (GRACE!!! When she was 2 years old, did this OFTEN until we finally started putting her sleepers on her backwards so she would have NO ACCESS to the diaper) takes off the poopie diaper and smears it all over the wall and crib - and of course, it's dried by the time you realize she is NOT just happily babbling to herself in there.
Anyway, my dream life, I have it. No, I don't have like this big glamourous house or car, and yes I definitely have the stretch marks and droopy parts of my body to show for having 8 kids. But. So, so many blessings to count!!!
1. I love, adore, the fact that I am at my goal weight and 99% at the look I have always wished for, in my body. I have worked super duper crying-hard for it, with a crazy tenacity that I have no idea where it comes from -- but I am so, so thankful that God granted me THAT wish. I enjoy wearing cute little clothes every day BUT also, remember with certain clarity the feeling of being 200 lbs at 5'4". Really hard times, but am thankful for them.
2. Eight children - all beautiful, all unique, all healthy, and all very young still. Charlie - 1, Harmony - 4, Jack - 5, Marie - 7, Grace - 9, Isaac - 11, James - 12, and Rachel - 14. I realized the other day that when Rachel is 19, I will have five teenagers. James will be a teenager soon, and bodies are getting bigger - which means, less space in our home. But.
3. Our HOME!! It is the 2nd home we've had in our 16 years of marriage, and we moved here after being married for 1 year, when I was 4 months pregnant with Rachel. I cannot believe it has been 15 years here already!! But I remember the stars in our eyes as we purchased this cute little 3-bedroom, 2-bath, 1100 square foot starter home. Oh, the SPACE!! The possibilities! Which bedroom to make the nursery?? Now, we have 4 boys in one room, and 4 girls in the other. It just makes me smile. Because I know I will look back on these days, the times when I wanted to cry when I looked at our much-loved-by-many-stains carpet, and think how simple and precious those times were. Sometimes when I feel constricted in this small home, with so many people, I think --- but, wow. We have OUR OWN HOME! We don't have to share with in-laws. We don't live in an apartment, or a duplex with neighbors on the other side of the wall.
4. Our car. Seriously, has lived on angel wings for YEARS. Don't know what in the world makes it keep on trucking along, but it certainly just...does. We have a '99 Ford Expedition that squeezes us tightly when we go anywhere - if we go as a whole family, we always have to take 2 cars. We live 15 minutes one way from our church, and the schools are 8 & 12 minutes away. So every day, I am thankful for that car that God has provided. NO He has not opened the doors for us to get another one, despite daily prayers for several years. But I am so thankful for how He has kept us with transportation the whole time!
5. Built in babysitters. Those of you who still have only littles at home? It is a time that will pass. I never thought it would. I had many many MANY years of needing one little thing at the grocery store, and we would just go without OR I would pack them alllll in the car and take a deep breath, just take them all in. Big, huge job. Or the feeling of being claustrophobic and I just NEED to go somewhere, anywhere, for a breather for just a tiny bit BY MYSELF. Now? Crazy different. I have 3 older ones who can babysit to varying degrees according to their ages & abilities to, well, be NICE to the littles. Now I can just go for an hour-long, BLISSFUL run whenever I need to. Or just tuck the littles in bed, and off to grocery shop.
I still sense very much, a need for Mom to not be gone too much, so sometimes it is just not the way of peace for me to leave even if the sitters are willing. But it has changed my life, hugely. Also, it is a wonderful way for those older 3 to earn money! We pay them less than a normal babysitter would, as they are gone often with youth group & school activites, so don't have as much chores duties anymore. This is part of the way they can contribute to the family -- but also earn some spending money at the same time. Rachel is saving for a car, $50 a month she puts in an envelope and I am so proud of her! I think she has $500 now.
6. My really hot husband. OH, I could write an entire book on him alone! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I could have it so good, that being married would be LIKE THIS at 16 years!!! God has worked MIRACLES in our marriage, we have gone through dry times and hard times, times that I would not wish on anyone. But together, HE kept us together, God did -- and had mercy and grace on us so that we came through the hard times not only purified as gold when it goes through the fire, but we came out of that fire HOLDING HANDS and unified in a way that I can't even describe. I would never NOT go through those hard times, if that makes sense??! So note to self for FUTURE hard times - it is necessary. It is needed. And it is welcomed, for the things that come afterwards are more wonderful than I can even describe, when taken in the right way and in humility.
That being said, seriously, this man GETS me. He knows that I hate playing games. He knows that I ADORE chocolate and he DOESN'T CARE when I eat like, 4 chocolate bars at once. He tells me I am sexy and that everyone in the restaurant we just walked into is looking at me. He even ASKED a waiter once, if I wasn't in the top 5 of all the girls in the room! I was SO EMBARRASSED! He told me later that he wanted to make a point -- because I don't believe him that I really do look THAT good. But that waiter? He said nah, I was TOP THREE. Ha! Regardless to say, my jaw was on the floor -- I couldn't believe he said that!
He takes me on the most epic date nights, like, ever. Last night he took me to the river after dark, and we walked on the bridge and talked in the crisp autumn air with the water swirling below and glistening in the lights from the bridge. We went to a favorite restaurant and enjoyed a delicious cold bear & garden burger while listening to a live band. We just...love each other's company, and it's not just that I FEEL like, maybe he does. He MAKES me feel like that. The way he whispers in my ear things for only me to hear, the way he likes to grab my unmentionables as he walks by - he makes me feel loved, desired, like his best friend.
Then there is the spiritual aspect of it. How he calls me just to hear my voice during the day, and how he'll text me a scripture that is on his heart that day and say he is thinking of and praying for me. How last weekend when we went away for our anniversary, we prayed together while driving up to the top of the mountain just cuz, to talk about whatever. A 3-fold cord cannot be easily broken, and ours is strong and sure. The thing is, we know that there will be hard times ahead and we talk about it. We are just thankful that God knows the seasons to send us, He knows what will be the biggest blessing. And for now, for us, this is where we're at.
7. Our church who is like family, who IS our family -- and the program they have for the youth who are ages 13-18. They give them something to do, ways to work to earn money to give, and I am just so thankful for how it has really helped with Rachel and now James also. That age is hard, because they are not old enough to get a real job, and could easily just lay around playing electronic whatevers all day. To have older youth who are willing to give them rides, to WORK with them and win their hearts, to give of their time -- that is priceless. I am so humbled by the way God has included us in this church.
8. That we have enough money, not too much, but enough. I am thankful that I have a love for scouring for deals, and through the years it has been my PLEASURE to shop consignment and used clothing stores/garage sales to provide clothing & lots of other household things, for my family. I think actually in awe about how 14 years ago I was introduced to Ebay, and selling online -- and ever since, have enjoyed that too! What a wonderful way for a stay at home mom to earn a little money, and also have a kind of hobby that is resourceful and earns income! But I am in awe because I became good at it, an expert in my field I suppose, and continued on to author & publish online two books that turned out to be excellent sellers. Or at least, for a mom like me! The real wisdom of God comes out, though, when I look back on that year when my husband quit his job in order to fulfill a one-year non compete agreement he had signed. He planned to open up his own business competing with his current employer, but needed to wait for a year. In that year, with four small children, he got work however he could, driving trucks long-haul, installing hardwood floors. We almost lost our home BUT. You know what? That year, and ONLY that year, I made $30,000 just selling children's used clothing on Ebay and my two online books. That just makes me shake my head in wonder, at the way God provides! Who knew?
Today is my birthday, and Bret has taken Grace, Marie, Jack, & Harmony out to the dollar store to get Mommy gifts. At the food bank last week, when the ladies saw that it was my birthday, they gave me a real rainbow cake!! You know, the kind that is covered in white frosting and when you cut into it, brilliant rainbow colors. The children were sooooo excited about that, we've never seen one in real life before. They have been counting down the days until my birthday, and asked me in hopeful voices if they were going to be invited to my party? So, so cute.
I told them today that since it is my birthday, I am not going to do any work. That's a rule in our house and one that they love to make use of when THEIR birthdays come. Hmmm. I think it doesn't really apply so much to Mom, but it was cute to see the wheels turning in their heads when I announced that. =)
When I got up this morning, I saw a whole bunch of nice spinach leaves in the trash. ???? Come to find out, Grace who is 9, told me that she really wanted to make me a salad for my birthday, but she couldn't find any of the stuff I usually put in it. And, I was sleeping so she couldn't ask me. I suppose then, that she just dumped it all in the trash and moved on. LOL! That really touched me...she is very loving but also can be very spirited and difficult to manage with tempers, etc, sometimes. What a thoughtful thing she wanted to do! So proud when I hear things like that.
I know I am not on here blogging as much as I'd like - our computer is slow, often I have to wait 30 seconds just for the log on page to let me actually enter my account info. And I find it hard to write when there is chaos around, and at night I just want to flop into bed! Right now Charlie is napping, James & Isaac are playing with my iphone & his ipod, Rachel is at volleyball, other 4 are gone with Dad. So I siezed the moment. Hopefully there will be more sporadic moments like this that I can also sieze. =)
My life right now? Totally, and completely wonderful. I love it. ADORE it. It's funny because, I remember when I was younger, what I wanted to be when I grew up was just a stay at home mom. I did end up going to one year of college, because obviously before I MET my husband, I couldn't very well just sit on my hands and wait for myself to become that stay at home mom. But the thing that I find humorous, is that so often God gives us the desires of our heart, and then we tend to complain about them! Isn't it true?!
Sometimes I find myself thinking, MY LIFE SUCKS on a particular day when, you know, things just ---- happen. Things like I finally manage to wash the floor on my hands & knees, and then, one of the littles accidentally spills like an entire 32oz cup of BLUEBERRY SMOOTHIE all over. Or, the baby (GRACE!!! When she was 2 years old, did this OFTEN until we finally started putting her sleepers on her backwards so she would have NO ACCESS to the diaper) takes off the poopie diaper and smears it all over the wall and crib - and of course, it's dried by the time you realize she is NOT just happily babbling to herself in there.
Anyway, my dream life, I have it. No, I don't have like this big glamourous house or car, and yes I definitely have the stretch marks and droopy parts of my body to show for having 8 kids. But. So, so many blessings to count!!!
1. I love, adore, the fact that I am at my goal weight and 99% at the look I have always wished for, in my body. I have worked super duper crying-hard for it, with a crazy tenacity that I have no idea where it comes from -- but I am so, so thankful that God granted me THAT wish. I enjoy wearing cute little clothes every day BUT also, remember with certain clarity the feeling of being 200 lbs at 5'4". Really hard times, but am thankful for them.
2. Eight children - all beautiful, all unique, all healthy, and all very young still. Charlie - 1, Harmony - 4, Jack - 5, Marie - 7, Grace - 9, Isaac - 11, James - 12, and Rachel - 14. I realized the other day that when Rachel is 19, I will have five teenagers. James will be a teenager soon, and bodies are getting bigger - which means, less space in our home. But.
3. Our HOME!! It is the 2nd home we've had in our 16 years of marriage, and we moved here after being married for 1 year, when I was 4 months pregnant with Rachel. I cannot believe it has been 15 years here already!! But I remember the stars in our eyes as we purchased this cute little 3-bedroom, 2-bath, 1100 square foot starter home. Oh, the SPACE!! The possibilities! Which bedroom to make the nursery?? Now, we have 4 boys in one room, and 4 girls in the other. It just makes me smile. Because I know I will look back on these days, the times when I wanted to cry when I looked at our much-loved-by-many-stains carpet, and think how simple and precious those times were. Sometimes when I feel constricted in this small home, with so many people, I think --- but, wow. We have OUR OWN HOME! We don't have to share with in-laws. We don't live in an apartment, or a duplex with neighbors on the other side of the wall.
4. Our car. Seriously, has lived on angel wings for YEARS. Don't know what in the world makes it keep on trucking along, but it certainly just...does. We have a '99 Ford Expedition that squeezes us tightly when we go anywhere - if we go as a whole family, we always have to take 2 cars. We live 15 minutes one way from our church, and the schools are 8 & 12 minutes away. So every day, I am thankful for that car that God has provided. NO He has not opened the doors for us to get another one, despite daily prayers for several years. But I am so thankful for how He has kept us with transportation the whole time!
5. Built in babysitters. Those of you who still have only littles at home? It is a time that will pass. I never thought it would. I had many many MANY years of needing one little thing at the grocery store, and we would just go without OR I would pack them alllll in the car and take a deep breath, just take them all in. Big, huge job. Or the feeling of being claustrophobic and I just NEED to go somewhere, anywhere, for a breather for just a tiny bit BY MYSELF. Now? Crazy different. I have 3 older ones who can babysit to varying degrees according to their ages & abilities to, well, be NICE to the littles. Now I can just go for an hour-long, BLISSFUL run whenever I need to. Or just tuck the littles in bed, and off to grocery shop.
I still sense very much, a need for Mom to not be gone too much, so sometimes it is just not the way of peace for me to leave even if the sitters are willing. But it has changed my life, hugely. Also, it is a wonderful way for those older 3 to earn money! We pay them less than a normal babysitter would, as they are gone often with youth group & school activites, so don't have as much chores duties anymore. This is part of the way they can contribute to the family -- but also earn some spending money at the same time. Rachel is saving for a car, $50 a month she puts in an envelope and I am so proud of her! I think she has $500 now.
6. My really hot husband. OH, I could write an entire book on him alone! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I could have it so good, that being married would be LIKE THIS at 16 years!!! God has worked MIRACLES in our marriage, we have gone through dry times and hard times, times that I would not wish on anyone. But together, HE kept us together, God did -- and had mercy and grace on us so that we came through the hard times not only purified as gold when it goes through the fire, but we came out of that fire HOLDING HANDS and unified in a way that I can't even describe. I would never NOT go through those hard times, if that makes sense??! So note to self for FUTURE hard times - it is necessary. It is needed. And it is welcomed, for the things that come afterwards are more wonderful than I can even describe, when taken in the right way and in humility.
That being said, seriously, this man GETS me. He knows that I hate playing games. He knows that I ADORE chocolate and he DOESN'T CARE when I eat like, 4 chocolate bars at once. He tells me I am sexy and that everyone in the restaurant we just walked into is looking at me. He even ASKED a waiter once, if I wasn't in the top 5 of all the girls in the room! I was SO EMBARRASSED! He told me later that he wanted to make a point -- because I don't believe him that I really do look THAT good. But that waiter? He said nah, I was TOP THREE. Ha! Regardless to say, my jaw was on the floor -- I couldn't believe he said that!
He takes me on the most epic date nights, like, ever. Last night he took me to the river after dark, and we walked on the bridge and talked in the crisp autumn air with the water swirling below and glistening in the lights from the bridge. We went to a favorite restaurant and enjoyed a delicious cold bear & garden burger while listening to a live band. We just...love each other's company, and it's not just that I FEEL like, maybe he does. He MAKES me feel like that. The way he whispers in my ear things for only me to hear, the way he likes to grab my unmentionables as he walks by - he makes me feel loved, desired, like his best friend.
Then there is the spiritual aspect of it. How he calls me just to hear my voice during the day, and how he'll text me a scripture that is on his heart that day and say he is thinking of and praying for me. How last weekend when we went away for our anniversary, we prayed together while driving up to the top of the mountain just cuz, to talk about whatever. A 3-fold cord cannot be easily broken, and ours is strong and sure. The thing is, we know that there will be hard times ahead and we talk about it. We are just thankful that God knows the seasons to send us, He knows what will be the biggest blessing. And for now, for us, this is where we're at.
7. Our church who is like family, who IS our family -- and the program they have for the youth who are ages 13-18. They give them something to do, ways to work to earn money to give, and I am just so thankful for how it has really helped with Rachel and now James also. That age is hard, because they are not old enough to get a real job, and could easily just lay around playing electronic whatevers all day. To have older youth who are willing to give them rides, to WORK with them and win their hearts, to give of their time -- that is priceless. I am so humbled by the way God has included us in this church.
8. That we have enough money, not too much, but enough. I am thankful that I have a love for scouring for deals, and through the years it has been my PLEASURE to shop consignment and used clothing stores/garage sales to provide clothing & lots of other household things, for my family. I think actually in awe about how 14 years ago I was introduced to Ebay, and selling online -- and ever since, have enjoyed that too! What a wonderful way for a stay at home mom to earn a little money, and also have a kind of hobby that is resourceful and earns income! But I am in awe because I became good at it, an expert in my field I suppose, and continued on to author & publish online two books that turned out to be excellent sellers. Or at least, for a mom like me! The real wisdom of God comes out, though, when I look back on that year when my husband quit his job in order to fulfill a one-year non compete agreement he had signed. He planned to open up his own business competing with his current employer, but needed to wait for a year. In that year, with four small children, he got work however he could, driving trucks long-haul, installing hardwood floors. We almost lost our home BUT. You know what? That year, and ONLY that year, I made $30,000 just selling children's used clothing on Ebay and my two online books. That just makes me shake my head in wonder, at the way God provides! Who knew?
Today is my birthday, and Bret has taken Grace, Marie, Jack, & Harmony out to the dollar store to get Mommy gifts. At the food bank last week, when the ladies saw that it was my birthday, they gave me a real rainbow cake!! You know, the kind that is covered in white frosting and when you cut into it, brilliant rainbow colors. The children were sooooo excited about that, we've never seen one in real life before. They have been counting down the days until my birthday, and asked me in hopeful voices if they were going to be invited to my party? So, so cute.
I told them today that since it is my birthday, I am not going to do any work. That's a rule in our house and one that they love to make use of when THEIR birthdays come. Hmmm. I think it doesn't really apply so much to Mom, but it was cute to see the wheels turning in their heads when I announced that. =)
When I got up this morning, I saw a whole bunch of nice spinach leaves in the trash. ???? Come to find out, Grace who is 9, told me that she really wanted to make me a salad for my birthday, but she couldn't find any of the stuff I usually put in it. And, I was sleeping so she couldn't ask me. I suppose then, that she just dumped it all in the trash and moved on. LOL! That really touched me...she is very loving but also can be very spirited and difficult to manage with tempers, etc, sometimes. What a thoughtful thing she wanted to do! So proud when I hear things like that.
I know I am not on here blogging as much as I'd like - our computer is slow, often I have to wait 30 seconds just for the log on page to let me actually enter my account info. And I find it hard to write when there is chaos around, and at night I just want to flop into bed! Right now Charlie is napping, James & Isaac are playing with my iphone & his ipod, Rachel is at volleyball, other 4 are gone with Dad. So I siezed the moment. Hopefully there will be more sporadic moments like this that I can also sieze. =)
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