So if life was a smooth ride, we wouldn't grow or get stronger, right? We would never change, or be forced outside of our comfort zone to change. On Christmas Day we went to my parent's house, and my mom was holding Jack - 2 weeks old on that day. I asked her if he'd changed at all since she'd seen him at 24 hours old. She said yes, he had lost alot of weight. I've been a little concerned about this since 1) my milk is ALWAYS not sufficient enough to make fat babies and 2) he seems to be very skinny to me. He has gotten that sort of preemie look, where they look much more like a little old man than a nice chubby baby. I know babies always lose some weight after birth, but it seems like he should be gaining now, and getting a little more filled out. He's almost 3 weeks old.
My appointment isn't until he is 4 weeks old, and I'm not about to drag all the kids into the doctor's or hospital just to get him weighed, unless of course it starts getting to be an urgent need. At this point he has a messy diaper pretty much every time I change him which is every 3 hours or so, and it's almost always wet - he even did a lovely little peeing episode all over himself & the changetable last night. That was alot of liquid! =) So I know he's at least getting nourishment - but I wonder if somehow he's not able to retain the food or something. I don't know, there's alot of crazy fearful ideas that can go through a postpartum mom's head, regardless of how many kids she's had!
This time it has been my furvent hope and prayer, that eating raw will make the difference I've never been able to make before. My goal is to nurse him until at least a year this time - and I know getting off to a good start is so important. He's such a good baby, nurses like a champ and empties both breasts very well, not usually falling asleep until he's completely done & satisfied, sighing with contentment. But he also sleeps for 3-5 hours between feedings, almost every single time. I don't think that's very healthy - at least not when I'm trying to build up a good quality nourishing milk supply. So starting yesterday afternoon, I have been waking him up so that he feeds every 3 hours during the day. At night, I let him sleep, although I wake him before I go to bed and right when I get up. Last night he nursed at 1am, then 4am, then 10am.
Besides nursing more often, I did a little research online and had DH get some Fenugreek capsules and Mother's Milk Tea. I actually wanted Nettle Tea, but the store he went to didn't have it. I'm taking 3 capsules 3x a day, and drinking a cup of tea 5 times a day. I'm also incorporating at least one green smoothie per day, always including one big bunch of greens. I read that green smoothies are a nursing mother's best friend as far as milk production goes.
I've been struggling with green smoothies because they are just NOT appetizing to me - but I found a good way to make them sweeter! I always juice 32oz. of OJ in the mornings. Today I decided to use OJ instead of water in my smoothie - so I put 2 cups of it in there. Wow, it tastes wonderful!! Totally sweet, and with barely a hint of the spinach & kale that I put in there. I also included 3 bananas, 2 apples, and 2 T. of ground flax seed. I think this will become a staple for me, especially using the OJ as a base.
So I'm hoping & praying that this will make a difference in weight gain for him.
As far as eating raw goes, I'm on day 7 of 100% raw now!! I have to say it is MUCH easier than days 1-2-3...I think it has to do with creating habits for yourself and settling into a routine. In the morning I always juice wheatgrass, 2-4oz., and then 32oz. of OJ. After that I've been a bit lax on making sure I get a well-rounded diet....I've been kind of living off of avocado cocoa coconut pudding and dates. I'll also have a sandwich with flax crackers sometimes, loaded with greens/avo/tomato/garlic "cheese" - and sometimes bananas and pineapple. I guess it's mostly just the greens that I know I haven't been very faithful with, and I wonder if that maybe has had an impact on the richness of my milk.
My weight seems to be hovering around 139-140 - it's a little harder to get a correct reading now that I'm nursing, because I kind of always have alot of water in my body since I'm up at all hours of the night. I try to weigh myself in the morning before nursing, because while I'm nursing I drink 32oz. of water each time. I'm also resisting the temptation to 1) eat less so I'll weigh less and 2) drink less so I'll weigh less. I'm totally letting go of all demands I've had on myself to lose weight after the baby comes, and just realizing that as long as I'm eating raw, my body will take care of that as it can. Right now the MAIN concern I have is that I am the only way my baby is going to grow, and be nourished, so I must make sure I keep that as my primary goal.
It's kind of like a 3-ring circus around here. To me, being pregnant and also delivering the baby isn't as hard as afterwards. The first month is always SO hard for me - just with everything: trying to cope with lack of sleep, body changing (no clothes fit, I'm lumpy, and it feels like that's never going to change!), hormones and weird body functions like lots of sweating, the kids all coming at me for a million different demands, all at the same time. Not to mention I feel a pressing need to take care of my home and not let it go to pot, yet I have a hungry baby waiting to be fed, an almost-dripping-wet diaper needing to be changed for DD1, 2 other kids fighting over a toy, I'm tripping over my DD3 who likes to lay on the floor in the kitchen with her blanket for some reason, and DD8 is sick on the couch, asking me for the 4th time WHEN am I going to get her OJ I promised half an hour ago? Ha ha ha.........you just have to laugh because in the midst of it all, my battle is to remain in rest in my spirit. So anyway, that's what I'm working on today.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
15 Days Postpartum ~ 5 lbs. to go!
Woohoo!! I'm officially back in the 130's club....I weighed in at 139lbs this morning. That was a really nice reward for having been 100% raw for FIVE days now - I can't believe it. It's been REALLY hard, I can tell I haven't had much discipline the past few months. But I've done it, and with each day that goes by that I've been all raw, it's harder to break the momentum and eat cooked. Think I'll make my goal of 134 by January 1st? Hmmm...that's 5 pounds in 6 days, and normally I would say that's not really healthy but with my being so newly postpartum and all, I know the momentum is faster for weight loss in the beginning. So we'll see! So far I've pretty much lost almost 1lb per day since I went 100% raw...I was at 142lbs on day 1. So that's 3lbs lost in 5 days, and my clothes are a little bit more loose than they were five days ago.
Yesterday we had a really nice Christmas - and DH & I took ALL of our sweets over to my parent's house where they were quickly eaten up by everyone. Yay!! I was so happy to do that - just get rid of them. Now I have to keep from raiding the kids' stockings, LOL, but I think I'll be OK because we didn't really get them much candy this year.
Last night was REALLY hard though, because my brother as a tradition, makes home-made smoked jerky to give to everyone. This year he included smoked cheddar cheese and smoked ham. Both of which I LOVE or should I say, in my previous Standard American Diet life have loved. LOL. When we got home from my parent's it was about 9pm and I was pretty hungry, and it smelled soooo good. I was seriously salivating at the thought, I mean - it's once a year that he makes it! Totally tradition, totally memories, everything that goes with Christmas, you know? So I literally forced myself to walk over to the Vitamix and put water in, then proceeded to make my chocolate coconut pudding with avocadoes - that always fills me up AND quenches any cravings I'm having. And it didn't let me down...I passed the cravings test. =)
I'm eagerly anticipating when I can start working out again - I'm hoping to start on January 2nd when the kids go back to school, but of course, only if I feel I'm healed enough. I feel MUCH better now, it's day 15 after the baby was born, but I still need naps (four hours sleep last night, split up into two segments!) or I start getting dizzy and eyes glazed sort of thing. My stomach also starts cramping and aching if I don't actually lay down after a certain amount of hours, but at least it's not as bad as it was before.
Yesterday we had a really nice Christmas - and DH & I took ALL of our sweets over to my parent's house where they were quickly eaten up by everyone. Yay!! I was so happy to do that - just get rid of them. Now I have to keep from raiding the kids' stockings, LOL, but I think I'll be OK because we didn't really get them much candy this year.
Last night was REALLY hard though, because my brother as a tradition, makes home-made smoked jerky to give to everyone. This year he included smoked cheddar cheese and smoked ham. Both of which I LOVE or should I say, in my previous Standard American Diet life have loved. LOL. When we got home from my parent's it was about 9pm and I was pretty hungry, and it smelled soooo good. I was seriously salivating at the thought, I mean - it's once a year that he makes it! Totally tradition, totally memories, everything that goes with Christmas, you know? So I literally forced myself to walk over to the Vitamix and put water in, then proceeded to make my chocolate coconut pudding with avocadoes - that always fills me up AND quenches any cravings I'm having. And it didn't let me down...I passed the cravings test. =)
I'm eagerly anticipating when I can start working out again - I'm hoping to start on January 2nd when the kids go back to school, but of course, only if I feel I'm healed enough. I feel MUCH better now, it's day 15 after the baby was born, but I still need naps (four hours sleep last night, split up into two segments!) or I start getting dizzy and eyes glazed sort of thing. My stomach also starts cramping and aching if I don't actually lay down after a certain amount of hours, but at least it's not as bad as it was before.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Seriously, sometimes THE only thing that keeps me raw...
...is trying out new recipes!! I tend to get stuck in the same old boring routine day in & day out - to the point where it starts just getting so mundane. Today it has been HARD to stay raw - DH took the three older kids out shopping so it was just me and DD 3 for quite a while since the younger two were sleeping. Ahhhhh man, I wanted sooo bad just to grab some junk food and veg in front of the computer, just enjoying this quiet time. We have all sorts of stuff in our house right now that I NEVER buy just because I know I'm too weak to handle the temptation. I think if DH weren't around I'd probably just throw it all away - but he's been enjoying some of it, so for now it's going to stay.
Anyway, in desperation I turned to my favorite raw food forum, www.rawfoodtalk.com - they have a recipe section. So I found a discussion on Ani Phyo's book called "Ani's Raw Food Kitchen" and I happen to have that book. The "Black Sesame Sunflower Bread" came highly recommended by the people on the forum, so I made some of that...it's in the dehydrator now and should be done around 9pm tonight. I need to figure out something to make to go with it, some kind of mayo sort of spread that will blend nicely with lots of greens, cucumbers, and maybe a slice or two of onion. I wish I had tomatoes; that would be the icing on the cake!
Doing this, getting involved in making yummy things, really takes my mind of wanting to eat SAD because I'm looking forward to eating my raw creations. I'm also SO glad that I told myself I would take up another 30-day challenge. It's really helped to have that long-term goal in front of me, rather than just taking it one day at a time, and usually falling flat on my face at least once per day and just giving in.
Last night I opened one of the boxes of clothes I had stored away, and pulled some things out. I really badly need shirts because all my pregnancy ones I just swim in, and the ones I wore before I got pregnant are the shorter style that was back in then, and aren't long enough to cover my still pregnant looking tummy. I really like the long style, it's way more flattering on a newly postpartum mommy! But seriously, trying on those clothes really reminded me of why I want to go raw for 30 days - I want to look normal again!
I've been looking through her book, and wow there are sooo many yummy recipes!!! Mmmm I think I found what I'm going to eat with the sunflower bread. It's called, "Crushed Red Pepper-Crusted Cheeze Patty". That should go nicely with the cucumber, lettuce, and tomato. Ingredients are very simple, just cashews, lemon juice, garlic, black pepper, sea salt, water, and crushed hot red pepper flakes.
Whew, day 2 is almost over! I know the first few days of 100% raw can be the hardest. I've experienced that after about day 5, my body realizes that duh, it's not going to get what it thinks it's craving (SAD junk) so it kind of gives up with a sigh of surrender, and it's much easier sailing after that. =)
Anyway, in desperation I turned to my favorite raw food forum, www.rawfoodtalk.com - they have a recipe section. So I found a discussion on Ani Phyo's book called "Ani's Raw Food Kitchen" and I happen to have that book. The "Black Sesame Sunflower Bread" came highly recommended by the people on the forum, so I made some of that...it's in the dehydrator now and should be done around 9pm tonight. I need to figure out something to make to go with it, some kind of mayo sort of spread that will blend nicely with lots of greens, cucumbers, and maybe a slice or two of onion. I wish I had tomatoes; that would be the icing on the cake!
Doing this, getting involved in making yummy things, really takes my mind of wanting to eat SAD because I'm looking forward to eating my raw creations. I'm also SO glad that I told myself I would take up another 30-day challenge. It's really helped to have that long-term goal in front of me, rather than just taking it one day at a time, and usually falling flat on my face at least once per day and just giving in.
Last night I opened one of the boxes of clothes I had stored away, and pulled some things out. I really badly need shirts because all my pregnancy ones I just swim in, and the ones I wore before I got pregnant are the shorter style that was back in then, and aren't long enough to cover my still pregnant looking tummy. I really like the long style, it's way more flattering on a newly postpartum mommy! But seriously, trying on those clothes really reminded me of why I want to go raw for 30 days - I want to look normal again!
I've been looking through her book, and wow there are sooo many yummy recipes!!! Mmmm I think I found what I'm going to eat with the sunflower bread. It's called, "Crushed Red Pepper-Crusted Cheeze Patty". That should go nicely with the cucumber, lettuce, and tomato. Ingredients are very simple, just cashews, lemon juice, garlic, black pepper, sea salt, water, and crushed hot red pepper flakes.
Whew, day 2 is almost over! I know the first few days of 100% raw can be the hardest. I've experienced that after about day 5, my body realizes that duh, it's not going to get what it thinks it's craving (SAD junk) so it kind of gives up with a sigh of surrender, and it's much easier sailing after that. =)
Saturday, December 22, 2007
11 Days Postpartum ~ How We're Doing
Wow, sooooo much to write about!! Right now I should actually be in bed, but Jack decided it would be a lovely time to spit up while he was laying on our bed, and pretty much drenched himself, our sheet, and DH's pillowcase. So of course I immediately put them in the washer, then promptly forgot about them! So here it is almost midnight and I was all set to go to bed, but realized my dumb mistake as I saw my bed in it's poor undressed state.
I've been writing this post in my head for at least a week now, LOL, I have so many thoughts to put down and want to remember - but it's amazing how time is just instantly grabbed away from you when you have a baby. I have my routine with the five kids down pat, I know when my free time is, and I make use of that as best I can. With a new baby, though, there is no schedule and when he's finally sleeping there is everything BUT free time!! So many other things to do.
Here's one thing I know for sure. Next time I am definitely going to get house help for at least two weeks, preferrably 3-4 weeks. I had so much energy this pregnancy and loved being able to keep my house clean without all the aches & pains I usually experience. I thought things would be kind of the same postpartum, and they absolutely were not. I ended up eating regular food for two entire days that I was at the birthing center. I haven't done that in months & months...it's always been a small portion of cooked food, then as my body sighs with relief I finish the rest of the day eating raw food.
I think that really tweaked me out, at least - that's the only thing I can think of! I feel like I haven't been able to heal as fast as I was hoping I would be, but at the same time it's really hard to know. For one thing, I had no help this time so I had to rely on DH almost exclusively...I know that wasn't the easiest for him. And for myself, I did try to take a nap while the baby slept, but it always had to be worked around when DH was home, or the kids were watching a movie, etc - and that doesn't always line up. Then, of course, it drives me nuts when my house starts looking really trashed, and I just have to do "this one little thing" and usually end up overdoing it. So - that all probably contributes to my feeling crampy and not myself...and also, the last two babies I had a TON of help for months & months afterwards, so I'm not used to having to do this healing thing on my own. So maybe it IS normal, I'm just not relating to it since I haven't had to do it like this since baby #3.
On day 6 I pretty much broke down and just sat in the living room and cried. I had just gotten off the phone with my mom, who had just gotten home from being in the hospital all night with my sister & her two kids, both of whom had come down with an extremely contagious viral pneumonia that is especially dangerous for newborns and unimmunized small children. Both of which, of course, fit my situation to a "T". The reason it stressed me out so much was because as soon as I got my kids back on day 4, they started getting even more sick...all of them. And my DS 5 had stayed at my sister's house while I had the baby, and I was afraid that he would either come down with it (he already had a cold) or be a carrier and pass it on to the others, especially DD3 and DD1 and the baby. I had also called her to see if my sister could come help the next day and it didn't look like it was going to work out - she was going to ask my other sister to come, who doesn't know the kids that well and didn't have a ride, so was going to ask my Grandma who I rarely ever see to bring her. At that point I just felt like saying you know what? Forget it, I hate putting people out and I'll just do it myself. Now that I look back I should have taken the help even if it put people out, but I don't know, I guess I'm stubborn.
I think too that my hormones played a part in my just getting so completely overwhelmed that all I could do was sit there holding the phone on the couch and cry. It makes everything seem more intense than it is. DH brought the baby into the room and asked me what was wrong, and I just told him everything I was feeling...which is good for me, because I usually hold it all in. He had just told me earlier that night that the next day, 6 days after the baby, he was going to have to work all day and then go to an important dinner meeting that night, and be home around 10pm. I told him "ok" like I usually do, but inside I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it through that long of a day. I felt really alone, like I needed him by my side to help me, I needed him to understand how weak I was feeling and so frustrated because I wanted badly to be able to take care of my family and just get everything back to normal but...my body just wasn't cooperating.
I told him if I ever needed him, it was now - and that I felt really alone and needed help but I didn't know what to do because it seemed like everyone just had their own lives, their own things going on. Anyway, he ended up cancelling everything the next day except for the important meeting that night, and told me that family is more important than work, if I really needed him. That brought such a relief, and that is also partly why next time I'm going to get help because I know it was a sacrifice for him to do that.
So now it's been 11 days, and I'm feeling much better. Actually ever day I have been a tiny bit better than the day before, and today I went pretty much most of the day without cramping or feeling pain in my stomach from too much activity, so that's a good sign!! Although I will never forget how my aunt who had 8 kids, did way too much and at 2 weeks she hemorraged. My mom always warns me that at 2 weeks postpartum you'll start feeling refreshed and like you actually can live life again, but to be really careful not to overdo it. So I'm trying to remember that.
So what things are different this time vs. the previous postpartum times? Well, let's see. Besides feeling like I am not healing very fast (and when I say that, I mean that because I'm eating so well this time I was hoping to be up & running around by day 3 or 4...as have other raw foodists who've had babies. BUT - to be fair, I haven't been 100% raw either, so maybe that has to do with it), everything else is actually going phenomenally well.
Sleep has really not been a problem for me this time. I don't know what it is or why, but I don't find myself crazy tired during the day - and it's not like I get tons of naps, either. Usually I try to sleep during the day while the kids watch a movie for about an hour, then I'll also get another nap after dinner when DH is home to watch them...for maybe another hour. Other than that, I've been going to sleep at around midnight every night, and the baby usually wakes up twice during the night. Last night he woke up & nursed for an hour from 4-5am, then again at 8:30am. It varies obviously but he does sleep sometimes for 4-5 hours at a time. I'm not so anxious for him to sleep longer at night though, because I know how important it is to establish a good milk supply from the beginning. I need to be producing as much milk as possible right now, so I'm happy to have him nursing more often.
Nursing is going SO awesome, I am just amazed!! Never have I had it so easy, and I'm hoping it stays this way. Mostly it's that I always get very sore in the beginning. It must be the way I nurse or something, because it can't be that ALL of my babies have been bad nursers. They like to attach the right way, then slide back so they're just getting the nipple. Then I get really sore and keep on taking them off, putting them back on...which makes it even more sore. I end up just wincing in pain with every feeding and it's just not fun. I was a little sore for the first couple of days, then it was fine! Engorgement was a little painful for just one 24 hour period, then went very smoothly; this little guy knows his stuff and was always eager to eat during that time, so I kind of just lived with him attached to the boob 24-7 LOL. The kids were gone during that time so it worked out OK. I think that his nursing so well is because of the lack of meds or epidural in his system...he was very alert right from the beginning. I've read that epidurals can cause lethargy in newborns and encouraged a problem with nursing in the beginning. That is what I've always experienced, too.
My diet has been a little shaky. When we got home the first thing I did was send DH out to the store to stock up on greens, fruit, wheatgrass, and a big box of oranges. I continued to eat about 90% raw with a couple of 100% raw days until yesterday. Oh, and the SAD things I did eat were pure junk as usual - sometimes alot of it, like 8 chocolates or 4 cookies. I've been having trouble staying away from the sweets - chocolate especially. The meals people have been bringing over haven't been that tempting like I thought they would be, which has been nice. But anyway, yesterday I started really spiraling out of control and ate only about 1/3 of the day raw, the rest was things like chicken enchiladas (it tasted gross to eat chicken so I ended up scraping it out and giving it to DD), chocolates, fancy cheeses and crackers, cookies, popcorn, roasted nuts. DH has been bringing home these gift baskets that people have given to his business with all kinds of things I used to love like what I mentioned.
It's kind of weird, different now, as I look at my baby and realize that what I eat is exclusively being given to him. I always knew that when he was inside, but as I watch him drink my milk, I realize that he is actually eating what I ate that day. Like he spit up TONS today, that one time, and I wonder if it is from the crap I ate last night. I wonder if it doesn't agree with his system, like the stomach-ache that I was also experiencing? As I was eating a cookie I looked at him lying on the couch all helpless and relying on me for his nourishment, and suddenly the cookie didn't taste quite as good. I feel like I'm doing a diservice to him when I'm not eating well.
So on that note, I decided that as of today, I am going to try as hard as I possibly can to be 100% raw for 30 days. I'm taking my own challenge, and especially through the rest of this Christmas season with so much sweets around, I want so badly to be healthy and give him the best start possible. But it's not just that - it's also that I want to return to my normal, healthy raw self and really heal and get my energy back too. And also.....
My weight! Here's the moment of truth - I have waited for many months and been curious to see how my weight would do after I have the baby. This is the hardest time for me, usually, postpartum when my tummy has gone down but not very much, when all of a sudden what was a glowing pregnant body becomes a jiggly, fat postpartum body. I usually have about 40 lbs to get rid of, and face many months of strict dieting to get back down to my normal weight. Which of course, is about 25lbs more than what I should weigh for my height in the first place.
So compare that postpartum scenario which happened like clockwork in all five of my previous pregnancies, to the present. As of today I have lost 14lbs of the 22lbs I gained this pregnancy. I have 8 lbs left to lose!! I am so excited about that. But it's not a complete bed of roses ~ even though the scale number tells me this information, the mirror actually says something different. Yes, I can "fit" into my pre-pregnancy clothes. But my body is like someone else's! My entire body shape is different right now. I actually have hips, normally I don't, and a waistline that actually curves inward. It's kind of cool, but weird - that's never happened to me before. My body shape is pretty boyish; I don't usually have any kind of curves in the waist area, because my hips are very small. So my tummy has shrunk, but it's still there, I look about 4 months pregnant right now. Also my boobs are MUCH bigger so all my shirts look kind of weird and too tight in strange places, and too short because my tummy still pulls them up a bit.
I can fit into all my jeans, although some are tighter than others, and I can tell my thighs and waist are also thicker than normal because they bulge out a little more than before. It's all very interesting and I'm not going to give in to any kind of thoughts of "ugh" when I look in the mirror because as my good friend "mama" points out, that is not where I want my thoughts to be!! I don't want to be consumed with this aspect of giving birth and afterwards, because having a baby is such a beautiful thing. I'm grateful for how my body looks, even if it's not up to par with what I think is perfect....I'll never be there anyway, LOL! There's always going to be something else I wish was different, at least that's what I've experienced.
So this 30 day 100% raw challenged is fueled by my desire to have more energy, give my baby the best nutrition possible, and also get down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I hope to lose the remaining 8lbs by the 1st of the year, and I think I can do it if I stay all raw, especially drinking lots of green smoothies. But if I don't, no big deal - I have until January 22nd until the end of my challenge to get there. I've been faithfully drinking 2oz. of wheatgrass every morning as well as 32oz. of fresh squeezed OJ and I love starting out my day like that.
Well, baby Jack is crying and I better go....so much for going to sleep! At least the laundry is now dry so I can make my bed and get some rest as soon as he is done nursing and hopefully goes right to sleep. I am just loving this special time with him so much, each time he wakes up in the middle of the night, at first it's hard to wake up, but when I see him laying there with his big eyes, grabbing his fist with his mouth every time it hits his face, screwing up his little face into the beginnings of a cry - I just love him even more. It's totally precious to have that time in the middle of the night without anyone else around, no other children trying to get my attention.
I've been writing this post in my head for at least a week now, LOL, I have so many thoughts to put down and want to remember - but it's amazing how time is just instantly grabbed away from you when you have a baby. I have my routine with the five kids down pat, I know when my free time is, and I make use of that as best I can. With a new baby, though, there is no schedule and when he's finally sleeping there is everything BUT free time!! So many other things to do.
Here's one thing I know for sure. Next time I am definitely going to get house help for at least two weeks, preferrably 3-4 weeks. I had so much energy this pregnancy and loved being able to keep my house clean without all the aches & pains I usually experience. I thought things would be kind of the same postpartum, and they absolutely were not. I ended up eating regular food for two entire days that I was at the birthing center. I haven't done that in months & months...it's always been a small portion of cooked food, then as my body sighs with relief I finish the rest of the day eating raw food.
I think that really tweaked me out, at least - that's the only thing I can think of! I feel like I haven't been able to heal as fast as I was hoping I would be, but at the same time it's really hard to know. For one thing, I had no help this time so I had to rely on DH almost exclusively...I know that wasn't the easiest for him. And for myself, I did try to take a nap while the baby slept, but it always had to be worked around when DH was home, or the kids were watching a movie, etc - and that doesn't always line up. Then, of course, it drives me nuts when my house starts looking really trashed, and I just have to do "this one little thing" and usually end up overdoing it. So - that all probably contributes to my feeling crampy and not myself...and also, the last two babies I had a TON of help for months & months afterwards, so I'm not used to having to do this healing thing on my own. So maybe it IS normal, I'm just not relating to it since I haven't had to do it like this since baby #3.
On day 6 I pretty much broke down and just sat in the living room and cried. I had just gotten off the phone with my mom, who had just gotten home from being in the hospital all night with my sister & her two kids, both of whom had come down with an extremely contagious viral pneumonia that is especially dangerous for newborns and unimmunized small children. Both of which, of course, fit my situation to a "T". The reason it stressed me out so much was because as soon as I got my kids back on day 4, they started getting even more sick...all of them. And my DS 5 had stayed at my sister's house while I had the baby, and I was afraid that he would either come down with it (he already had a cold) or be a carrier and pass it on to the others, especially DD3 and DD1 and the baby. I had also called her to see if my sister could come help the next day and it didn't look like it was going to work out - she was going to ask my other sister to come, who doesn't know the kids that well and didn't have a ride, so was going to ask my Grandma who I rarely ever see to bring her. At that point I just felt like saying you know what? Forget it, I hate putting people out and I'll just do it myself. Now that I look back I should have taken the help even if it put people out, but I don't know, I guess I'm stubborn.
I think too that my hormones played a part in my just getting so completely overwhelmed that all I could do was sit there holding the phone on the couch and cry. It makes everything seem more intense than it is. DH brought the baby into the room and asked me what was wrong, and I just told him everything I was feeling...which is good for me, because I usually hold it all in. He had just told me earlier that night that the next day, 6 days after the baby, he was going to have to work all day and then go to an important dinner meeting that night, and be home around 10pm. I told him "ok" like I usually do, but inside I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it through that long of a day. I felt really alone, like I needed him by my side to help me, I needed him to understand how weak I was feeling and so frustrated because I wanted badly to be able to take care of my family and just get everything back to normal but...my body just wasn't cooperating.
I told him if I ever needed him, it was now - and that I felt really alone and needed help but I didn't know what to do because it seemed like everyone just had their own lives, their own things going on. Anyway, he ended up cancelling everything the next day except for the important meeting that night, and told me that family is more important than work, if I really needed him. That brought such a relief, and that is also partly why next time I'm going to get help because I know it was a sacrifice for him to do that.
So now it's been 11 days, and I'm feeling much better. Actually ever day I have been a tiny bit better than the day before, and today I went pretty much most of the day without cramping or feeling pain in my stomach from too much activity, so that's a good sign!! Although I will never forget how my aunt who had 8 kids, did way too much and at 2 weeks she hemorraged. My mom always warns me that at 2 weeks postpartum you'll start feeling refreshed and like you actually can live life again, but to be really careful not to overdo it. So I'm trying to remember that.
So what things are different this time vs. the previous postpartum times? Well, let's see. Besides feeling like I am not healing very fast (and when I say that, I mean that because I'm eating so well this time I was hoping to be up & running around by day 3 or 4...as have other raw foodists who've had babies. BUT - to be fair, I haven't been 100% raw either, so maybe that has to do with it), everything else is actually going phenomenally well.
Sleep has really not been a problem for me this time. I don't know what it is or why, but I don't find myself crazy tired during the day - and it's not like I get tons of naps, either. Usually I try to sleep during the day while the kids watch a movie for about an hour, then I'll also get another nap after dinner when DH is home to watch them...for maybe another hour. Other than that, I've been going to sleep at around midnight every night, and the baby usually wakes up twice during the night. Last night he woke up & nursed for an hour from 4-5am, then again at 8:30am. It varies obviously but he does sleep sometimes for 4-5 hours at a time. I'm not so anxious for him to sleep longer at night though, because I know how important it is to establish a good milk supply from the beginning. I need to be producing as much milk as possible right now, so I'm happy to have him nursing more often.
Nursing is going SO awesome, I am just amazed!! Never have I had it so easy, and I'm hoping it stays this way. Mostly it's that I always get very sore in the beginning. It must be the way I nurse or something, because it can't be that ALL of my babies have been bad nursers. They like to attach the right way, then slide back so they're just getting the nipple. Then I get really sore and keep on taking them off, putting them back on...which makes it even more sore. I end up just wincing in pain with every feeding and it's just not fun. I was a little sore for the first couple of days, then it was fine! Engorgement was a little painful for just one 24 hour period, then went very smoothly; this little guy knows his stuff and was always eager to eat during that time, so I kind of just lived with him attached to the boob 24-7 LOL. The kids were gone during that time so it worked out OK. I think that his nursing so well is because of the lack of meds or epidural in his system...he was very alert right from the beginning. I've read that epidurals can cause lethargy in newborns and encouraged a problem with nursing in the beginning. That is what I've always experienced, too.
My diet has been a little shaky. When we got home the first thing I did was send DH out to the store to stock up on greens, fruit, wheatgrass, and a big box of oranges. I continued to eat about 90% raw with a couple of 100% raw days until yesterday. Oh, and the SAD things I did eat were pure junk as usual - sometimes alot of it, like 8 chocolates or 4 cookies. I've been having trouble staying away from the sweets - chocolate especially. The meals people have been bringing over haven't been that tempting like I thought they would be, which has been nice. But anyway, yesterday I started really spiraling out of control and ate only about 1/3 of the day raw, the rest was things like chicken enchiladas (it tasted gross to eat chicken so I ended up scraping it out and giving it to DD), chocolates, fancy cheeses and crackers, cookies, popcorn, roasted nuts. DH has been bringing home these gift baskets that people have given to his business with all kinds of things I used to love like what I mentioned.
It's kind of weird, different now, as I look at my baby and realize that what I eat is exclusively being given to him. I always knew that when he was inside, but as I watch him drink my milk, I realize that he is actually eating what I ate that day. Like he spit up TONS today, that one time, and I wonder if it is from the crap I ate last night. I wonder if it doesn't agree with his system, like the stomach-ache that I was also experiencing? As I was eating a cookie I looked at him lying on the couch all helpless and relying on me for his nourishment, and suddenly the cookie didn't taste quite as good. I feel like I'm doing a diservice to him when I'm not eating well.
So on that note, I decided that as of today, I am going to try as hard as I possibly can to be 100% raw for 30 days. I'm taking my own challenge, and especially through the rest of this Christmas season with so much sweets around, I want so badly to be healthy and give him the best start possible. But it's not just that - it's also that I want to return to my normal, healthy raw self and really heal and get my energy back too. And also.....
My weight! Here's the moment of truth - I have waited for many months and been curious to see how my weight would do after I have the baby. This is the hardest time for me, usually, postpartum when my tummy has gone down but not very much, when all of a sudden what was a glowing pregnant body becomes a jiggly, fat postpartum body. I usually have about 40 lbs to get rid of, and face many months of strict dieting to get back down to my normal weight. Which of course, is about 25lbs more than what I should weigh for my height in the first place.
So compare that postpartum scenario which happened like clockwork in all five of my previous pregnancies, to the present. As of today I have lost 14lbs of the 22lbs I gained this pregnancy. I have 8 lbs left to lose!! I am so excited about that. But it's not a complete bed of roses ~ even though the scale number tells me this information, the mirror actually says something different. Yes, I can "fit" into my pre-pregnancy clothes. But my body is like someone else's! My entire body shape is different right now. I actually have hips, normally I don't, and a waistline that actually curves inward. It's kind of cool, but weird - that's never happened to me before. My body shape is pretty boyish; I don't usually have any kind of curves in the waist area, because my hips are very small. So my tummy has shrunk, but it's still there, I look about 4 months pregnant right now. Also my boobs are MUCH bigger so all my shirts look kind of weird and too tight in strange places, and too short because my tummy still pulls them up a bit.
I can fit into all my jeans, although some are tighter than others, and I can tell my thighs and waist are also thicker than normal because they bulge out a little more than before. It's all very interesting and I'm not going to give in to any kind of thoughts of "ugh" when I look in the mirror because as my good friend "mama" points out, that is not where I want my thoughts to be!! I don't want to be consumed with this aspect of giving birth and afterwards, because having a baby is such a beautiful thing. I'm grateful for how my body looks, even if it's not up to par with what I think is perfect....I'll never be there anyway, LOL! There's always going to be something else I wish was different, at least that's what I've experienced.
So this 30 day 100% raw challenged is fueled by my desire to have more energy, give my baby the best nutrition possible, and also get down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I hope to lose the remaining 8lbs by the 1st of the year, and I think I can do it if I stay all raw, especially drinking lots of green smoothies. But if I don't, no big deal - I have until January 22nd until the end of my challenge to get there. I've been faithfully drinking 2oz. of wheatgrass every morning as well as 32oz. of fresh squeezed OJ and I love starting out my day like that.
Well, baby Jack is crying and I better go....so much for going to sleep! At least the laundry is now dry so I can make my bed and get some rest as soon as he is done nursing and hopefully goes right to sleep. I am just loving this special time with him so much, each time he wakes up in the middle of the night, at first it's hard to wake up, but when I see him laying there with his big eyes, grabbing his fist with his mouth every time it hits his face, screwing up his little face into the beginnings of a cry - I just love him even more. It's totally precious to have that time in the middle of the night without anyone else around, no other children trying to get my attention.
Friday, December 14, 2007
3 Days PostPartum ~ Jack Ryan's Birth Story (long & wordy!)
He's here!!! What a sweetie......I am enjoying him sooooooo much. So here's the story of Jack Ryan's birth, which happened on December 11, 2007 - he was 7 days later than my due date of December 4th. My latest baby ever!!
We'll begin on Monday, December 10th. I woke up at around 7:55 am with contractions that were fairly strong Braxton Hicks. They weren't really any different from what I'd been experiencing over the past few days so I didn't really think anything of it. Throughout the morning, though, they were remaining steady at about 15 minutes apart. I called Bret at around 11am to let him know they'd been steady and just to be within a phone call's reach if I needed to have him come home & get ready to go.
I realized that this could be "it" - they had never stayed like that before, so I did a mental check of what I wanted to get done still before the baby came, and started cleaning like mad. Oh my gosh, you should have seen me - I was a total whirlwind that day! I picked up the floors in every single room of the house, then vacuumed the entire thing - it hadn't been vacuumed in a couple of days and was kind of driving me nuts with all the stuff on the floor. I knew if I didn't vacuum, I wouldn't be able to do it after the baby came and Bret would look at me like I was nuts if I asked him to vacuum for me - it wasn't really THAT dirty, but it wasn't clean like I wanted it to be when I came home.
I folded & put away 3 loads of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen so all the dishes were done & it was nice and clean, and I even started on my Auction Moms newsletter. I was all done with my "chores" by naptime and they were still coming steadily, ever 15 minutes. After the kids got home at 3pm I figured that I better start getting their stuff together. Since I didn't know how much I was dilated, I knew that my history is to go from dilation of 3-4 to BAM, 10 and I'm pushing. In just a couple of hours, that usually happens. The contractions were also getting closer together, like 3-5 minutes apart and more intense!!
I called Bret home, and had the kids get all their stuff together - blankies, pillows, backpacks, diaper bags, toys, whew - it was a huge job!! Thankfully they were all super excited and it sort of felt like Christmas in the air...they were glad to help. As soon as Bret got home at 4pm, he whisked them off to their babysitters, and I finished packing myself and getting everything ready....including sending off an email to friends that I was going to go in to the birthing center. I was having to breath through the contractions kind of, but they weren't really all that painful yet.
It took a while for him to get everyone to their places - some of them 15 min. away - so he got home at around 6pm, and we arrived at the birthing center at 6:30 or so. Bret was so sweet, in the elevator going up he looked at me and said I looked beautiful. I thought that was probably the best compliment he'd ever given me because I was like, 6 days overdue and not exactly the hottest babe with my big belly and probably swollen looking face, LOL!
I tried very hard to remain relaxed and calm - I had read that many times labor will stop when you arrive at the hospital because it's a new environment and your body is naturally going to withdraw if you're uncomfortable or feel out of your realm. But nonetheless, my labor did decide to pretty much peeter out. They assured me that was totally normal and it would probably take a couple of hours for it to start.
Our room was all ready for us - we had chosen the "Angel Room" to give birth in. It has a gorgeous 4-poster canopy bed with beautiful pictures of Angels on the walls, and sashes draped over the bed & windows. The windows were tinted so they could be open during the night, and you could see the city lights sparkling in the dark, or the marshy part of the river with ducks during the day. The big birthing tub is basically like an oversized white bathtub that you'd see in a fancy master bathroom, and there was a big bouquet of roses on one side, with lit candles all around it. The room also had a lounge couch and then a private bathroom to one side.
We settled in and they checked my vitals but not my cervix - I really wanted everything to happen naturally with as little intervention as possible, and they were completely fine with that. We decided to watch some episodes of "24" - they don't have any TV there, but Bret had brought his laptop so we watched that together and just hung out. Around 11:30pm the contractions were still coming, but very sporadic and had been maybe 30 minutes apart since we got there. They had me lean forward on a birthing ball while I watched the movie to make sure the baby would stay in the right position, since it had been posterior before.
At midnight they encouraged us to try walking the halls & stairs in the building, so I did that. I felt like I had alot of energy and had a bounce in my step while going up & down the stairs - with not much effort; I was surprised at that. Doing that brought the contractions back quite fast - they were definitely stronger and more painful than any I'd had before, but maybe like a "3" on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the worst. I walked around for about an hour with them coming about 5 minutes apart, then sat down for a rest. Almost right away, they slowed wayyy down to maybe 15 min. apart.
Oh yes, as far as food goes - I had made a chocolate shake w/bananas at around 4pm and drank half of it - brought the rest with me. I drank the rest at around midnight, and then had nothing else to eat but water until morning. So I was completely raw and had nothing in my system that was cooked until the morning of Tuesday, Dec. 11th.
We decided to get some sleep, so we went to bed. Poor Bret had to sleep on the couch which was more of a chaise-lounge sort of thing, not quite long enough for him. He ended up putting a stool at the end so he could put his feet on something. They actually have three rooms there, and the plan was for him to sleep in a separate room than me because of his snoring - but all three rooms were full that night. Rare occurance, I guess! We didn't sleep very well because they had to come in every 30 minutes to moniter the baby's heartbeat, and that machine was pretty loud. I had a contraction in between just about every visit, one that would wake me up, so in the morning we both kind of looked & felt like zombies.
At 3am the midwife decided to check my cervix and see if anything was happening. At that point, I was desperate for ANY kind of good news because nothing was happening. She said I felt like I was dilated to about 2, but that my cervix was so stretchy that she could actually stretch it open like a rubberband to about a 6! Probably because I've had so many kids, she said. But still, nothing was happening by the morning.
At 10am they were still sluggish & slow, 15-30 minutes apart....so the midwives (there were 3 of them attending the birth) had a pow-wow and came in to the room with some options. First, the main midwife checked me again. She said I was at about 1.5-2 centimeters dilated, but that my cervix was actually still thick and the baby's head was high. In order for the cervix to open, the baby's head needs to be lower and actually pushing ON the cervix.....that is what signals it to open. That was so disappointing, I almost cried!
The midwife sat on the bed and said that things were just pretty slow. She said I could try walking the halls/stairs again if I wanted to, to see if that made a difference - or, we could also go home and go about our lives until it starts again and they're 3-4 minutes apart. She said very kindly, that I don't want to have to stay there for days with nothing happening - might as well go home and see if things happen. I could NOT believe it - I mean seriously, at this point I was SEVEN days late!!! So crazy. I asked about maybe breaking my water, and she said that even in the hospital they probably wouldn't do that, because the baby's head was still too high. It could be dangerous for the baby. She did suggest stripping my membranes but said it's pretttttty painful so not really suggested.
They also said - you know, don't feel any pressure to leave, either - we are here to stay as long as you feel you need or want to. They encouraged us to maybe go walking at the mall, or go watch a movie, and at the very least go out for breakfast and see what happens. Maybe just being up & around would shake things up a bit. I was relieved to hear that they were OK with us kind of just basing ourselves there and that we didn't actually have to go home. Part of the stress about going home too, was that all the kids were at their babysitters and I'd already "wasted" one of the precious 5 nights of having them gone. If we did go home, would we get the kids and tell all the babysitters that it was a false alarm? Would we just leave them there and hope things happened soon?
Then one of the midwives had an idea. She said the baby is locked into the pelvis pretty tight right now, he's just not down far enough. So what we need to do is kind of shake the baby loose, so he can settle down into the pelvis again, only farthur down. She had me get on all fours on the bed and do cat-like stretches, like yoga...arch my back up, then under. Shake your booty, she said, and roll your hips. Bret laughed at me and yes, I probably did look pretty dorky but at that point - I was pretty much game for anything just so I wouldn't have to go home!! I did that for five minutes.
After that I hopped into the shower, and was shocked to have FIVE hard contractions in a row!! I don't take long showers, like maybe 10 minutes - so to have five in the shower made them like 2 minutes apart. They were hard too - a couple of them I had to stop what I was doing and grip the bar, concentrating on breathing in long & slow, breathing out long & slow. This is where the hypnobirthing CD became invaluable to me. I think that each person probably takes something different from a CD like that - and for me, the main thing that stuck out in my mind was to breath in really deep from my stomach where the baby is. So I'd breath in and at the same time let the air expand my stomach, then as I was breathing out, I would say, "3....2.....1....relax, Sherah....." I can't even say how much that helped me. As SOON as I relaxed, I would immediately feel less pain and could focus and get through it. Before I actually said those words in my head, I would start to tense up and almost couldn't help but fight the pain.
I told the midwives about what happened, as we were on our way out to go get something to eat. In the middle of talking to them, I felt another one come on and for the first time ever in front of them, I had to close my eyes and concentrate on the contraction; it was pretty painful, I was shaking a little. They were like okay, this is good - we haven't seen you do this before! We decided to go for breakfast and as we were walking into the restaurant, another one hit me......hard. I had to stop and lean against Bret trying not to fight the pain but relax. I couldn't move until it was over.
Once in the restaurant, Bret told the waitress I was in labor and asked to expedite our order. It's so funny when people hear you're in labor, they either freak out or get all gushy, LOL. She was super sweet and we got our order in like, 3 minutes. I ended up having my first SAD food of the day - I just was ravenous and not in the mood to eat the bananas or oranges we had brought. I ordered a veggie omelet, fruit, and it came with 3 small wheat pancakes. I ate the entire thing practically in one gulp and was still hungry! But we both agreed I'd regret it later if I ordered anything else, so I just drank more water.
After being there for about 20 min. and having some painful contractions, we left and they slowed wayyy down again. I didn't have another one for maybe 20 min. We went to Fred Meyer's and got some Christmas stuff for the kids, tried to park at the very end of the parking lot so we could walk a bit more - and then went back to the birthing center. I was kind of dreading going back because of the contrax slowing down AGAIN - I really didn't want to go home!
Because of the new intensity of the contractions, my midwife decided to check me again - it was 3pm. I was at four, and the baby's head was down, she could feel the bag of water! Yay! She advised me to stay, and I determined to walk the stairs again to get things started. So I did that for about 15 min, but it was a little different because it's a big office with lots of doctors and such - people were all around and I didn't feel very comfortable going through those hard contractions with people staring. It did start them up again, though - about 5-10 min. apart. So I went back in, and tried to take a nap.
I wasn't very successful napping. I would get hit with a contraction and have to jump out of bed and roll on the birthing ball using my hypnotherapy technique. Which I was very rapidly not being able to do...it was getting harder to focus. At 3:45 or so, I just started bawling on the ball after a contraction. It had been an especially hard one, and Bret was sleeping - the room was dark and I felt like I wanted to get into the tub but the water wasn't ready. I just cried....everything was getting overwhelming, having had little sleep, not much as far as labor goes, my contrax were starting to hurt ALOT and I was feeling scared for what was to come.
The midwife came in and asked what was wrong, and she could tell something had changed. She said most likely I was in transition (I didn't believe her, it didn't seem like it had gotten that bad yet) and then told a concerned Bret (who had woken up surprised to see my crying) that it's usual to get weepy towards the end. I got in the tub and pretty much after that, things are a blur.
I got hit with the worst contractions ever shortly after that and everything just got kind of abstract - I retreated into myself somewhere to almost an animalistic sort of place. I hung on to Bret's hand and squeezed it HARD (my entire arm was sore the next day!) with each contraction, and was quite the vocal person during each one. I tried to remember that low, open-throated noises help the cervix to open - and also at one point it felt totally good to laugh-cry. I felt when I did that, the baby moved further through the canal. The main thing I kept thinking was OMG I can't keep doing this for a long time!! I hope hope hope this is almost over! But I couldn't believe it would be because so much had to happen. I kept looking at my stomach and noticing it still wasn't "empty looking" and it was going to be forever until it actually entered the canal.
In reality, I had the baby at 5:17 so things actually did happen pretty fast, as is my history. I went from being dilated to 4 at 3pm to delivering at 5:17 so that's pretty fast! Having a water birth was very cool. I was able to fluidly move from different positions as soon as I felt my body tell me to - and having read Ina May Gaskin's book, I had complete confidence that my body would tell me what to do. It was nice to have that reassurance instead of wondering if I was doing it "right" and if I should be doing something else. I can't compare it pain-wise to a normal out of water birth because I've never done that without pain meds and/or an epidural.
I reached that point where I felt like I couldn't handle the pain any longer, and in the back of my head I remembered people telling me, and reading, that that means I'm near the end. So that helped me to hold on a little longer. Feeling the baby coming out was the most painful thing ever, but it was really cool to feel it!! With an epidural, you don't really feel anything. I loved how the midwives had almost no intervention in my delivery except to tell me to focus sometimes, and they also directed me to slow down a little when I was trying to push the baby out. They never told me to push at a certain time, they let my body tell me when to do that. Once the baby was out, that was such a good feeling!!! To know it was over, this long awaited "trial" so to speak, was over.
I spoke to the baby as he was put on my chest, and he immediately craned his neck up and looked at me like - Hi mama!! It was so cute. He wasn't bloody or anything - and the water was still amazingly clear....they told me I was a really clean birther....LOL. The afterbirth cramps were really intense for me - part of it was my body completely rebelled against going through "that" again and I had no patience for feeling any pain again.
Evidently when the baby is born, there is still quite a bit of it's blood in the cord, so if it's cut too soon it can actually make the baby anemic. So I had asked them, and they said they usually do this, to wait to cut the cord until it was done pulsing. I never even saw or paid attention to whether it was pulsing or not, but they waited until about 15 minutes had gone by to cut the cord. After that I was ready to get out, and they had me deliver the placenta. Geez, that was hard! I didn't want to push it out - it was like my body just would NOT obey me even though I was cramping and knew it needed to come out.
Finally they had me sit on a birthing stool above the water. As soon as my tummy was out of the water, the cramps increased WAY harder! That is the only comparison I have pain-wise to being in the water vs. out. I'd read about women standing up in labor and quickly sitting back down, refusing to get out of the tub because of the increase in intensity of contractions when being out of the water. Interesting, huh.
After the placenta was out, they helped me out of the tub and I went straight to the bed and lay there with the baby for a while, and they checked to see if I'd torn or anything. I had some small "scratches" which they said would heal nicely on their own, no stitches required. She asked me to kegel, and said don't worry if you can't because most people aren't able to - but she was really surprised when I could strongly kegel. Credit to being raw! Just kidding, who knows, huh?
I was also able to have a bowel movement about 7 hours later which is a record for me - I was able to pee about 30 minutes after giving birth, also a record. I felt very clear headed, although tired and the afterbirth cramps were pretty intense. I guess they get worse the more babies you have. The baby was also able to latch on very well and I could tell he was alert and able to nurse like a champ. None of my other babies have been that none-sleepy after birth, and I credit that to no pain meds in his system.
So - that's the birth story! It was more painful than I thought, and less "smooth" than I had hoped a raw birth would be. It did go rather fast at the end, but I had hoped that I would have a much faster labor, like maybe 5 hours total or something. Guess not! I'm so happy & proud to say that my little raw baby, who was raised in gestation on a 95% raw diet is 100% healthy and weighed in at a fat 8lb 2oz, 21" long.
We'll begin on Monday, December 10th. I woke up at around 7:55 am with contractions that were fairly strong Braxton Hicks. They weren't really any different from what I'd been experiencing over the past few days so I didn't really think anything of it. Throughout the morning, though, they were remaining steady at about 15 minutes apart. I called Bret at around 11am to let him know they'd been steady and just to be within a phone call's reach if I needed to have him come home & get ready to go.
I realized that this could be "it" - they had never stayed like that before, so I did a mental check of what I wanted to get done still before the baby came, and started cleaning like mad. Oh my gosh, you should have seen me - I was a total whirlwind that day! I picked up the floors in every single room of the house, then vacuumed the entire thing - it hadn't been vacuumed in a couple of days and was kind of driving me nuts with all the stuff on the floor. I knew if I didn't vacuum, I wouldn't be able to do it after the baby came and Bret would look at me like I was nuts if I asked him to vacuum for me - it wasn't really THAT dirty, but it wasn't clean like I wanted it to be when I came home.
I folded & put away 3 loads of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen so all the dishes were done & it was nice and clean, and I even started on my Auction Moms newsletter. I was all done with my "chores" by naptime and they were still coming steadily, ever 15 minutes. After the kids got home at 3pm I figured that I better start getting their stuff together. Since I didn't know how much I was dilated, I knew that my history is to go from dilation of 3-4 to BAM, 10 and I'm pushing. In just a couple of hours, that usually happens. The contractions were also getting closer together, like 3-5 minutes apart and more intense!!
I called Bret home, and had the kids get all their stuff together - blankies, pillows, backpacks, diaper bags, toys, whew - it was a huge job!! Thankfully they were all super excited and it sort of felt like Christmas in the air...they were glad to help. As soon as Bret got home at 4pm, he whisked them off to their babysitters, and I finished packing myself and getting everything ready....including sending off an email to friends that I was going to go in to the birthing center. I was having to breath through the contractions kind of, but they weren't really all that painful yet.
It took a while for him to get everyone to their places - some of them 15 min. away - so he got home at around 6pm, and we arrived at the birthing center at 6:30 or so. Bret was so sweet, in the elevator going up he looked at me and said I looked beautiful. I thought that was probably the best compliment he'd ever given me because I was like, 6 days overdue and not exactly the hottest babe with my big belly and probably swollen looking face, LOL!
I tried very hard to remain relaxed and calm - I had read that many times labor will stop when you arrive at the hospital because it's a new environment and your body is naturally going to withdraw if you're uncomfortable or feel out of your realm. But nonetheless, my labor did decide to pretty much peeter out. They assured me that was totally normal and it would probably take a couple of hours for it to start.
Our room was all ready for us - we had chosen the "Angel Room" to give birth in. It has a gorgeous 4-poster canopy bed with beautiful pictures of Angels on the walls, and sashes draped over the bed & windows. The windows were tinted so they could be open during the night, and you could see the city lights sparkling in the dark, or the marshy part of the river with ducks during the day. The big birthing tub is basically like an oversized white bathtub that you'd see in a fancy master bathroom, and there was a big bouquet of roses on one side, with lit candles all around it. The room also had a lounge couch and then a private bathroom to one side.
We settled in and they checked my vitals but not my cervix - I really wanted everything to happen naturally with as little intervention as possible, and they were completely fine with that. We decided to watch some episodes of "24" - they don't have any TV there, but Bret had brought his laptop so we watched that together and just hung out. Around 11:30pm the contractions were still coming, but very sporadic and had been maybe 30 minutes apart since we got there. They had me lean forward on a birthing ball while I watched the movie to make sure the baby would stay in the right position, since it had been posterior before.
At midnight they encouraged us to try walking the halls & stairs in the building, so I did that. I felt like I had alot of energy and had a bounce in my step while going up & down the stairs - with not much effort; I was surprised at that. Doing that brought the contractions back quite fast - they were definitely stronger and more painful than any I'd had before, but maybe like a "3" on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the worst. I walked around for about an hour with them coming about 5 minutes apart, then sat down for a rest. Almost right away, they slowed wayyy down to maybe 15 min. apart.
Oh yes, as far as food goes - I had made a chocolate shake w/bananas at around 4pm and drank half of it - brought the rest with me. I drank the rest at around midnight, and then had nothing else to eat but water until morning. So I was completely raw and had nothing in my system that was cooked until the morning of Tuesday, Dec. 11th.
We decided to get some sleep, so we went to bed. Poor Bret had to sleep on the couch which was more of a chaise-lounge sort of thing, not quite long enough for him. He ended up putting a stool at the end so he could put his feet on something. They actually have three rooms there, and the plan was for him to sleep in a separate room than me because of his snoring - but all three rooms were full that night. Rare occurance, I guess! We didn't sleep very well because they had to come in every 30 minutes to moniter the baby's heartbeat, and that machine was pretty loud. I had a contraction in between just about every visit, one that would wake me up, so in the morning we both kind of looked & felt like zombies.
At 3am the midwife decided to check my cervix and see if anything was happening. At that point, I was desperate for ANY kind of good news because nothing was happening. She said I felt like I was dilated to about 2, but that my cervix was so stretchy that she could actually stretch it open like a rubberband to about a 6! Probably because I've had so many kids, she said. But still, nothing was happening by the morning.
At 10am they were still sluggish & slow, 15-30 minutes apart....so the midwives (there were 3 of them attending the birth) had a pow-wow and came in to the room with some options. First, the main midwife checked me again. She said I was at about 1.5-2 centimeters dilated, but that my cervix was actually still thick and the baby's head was high. In order for the cervix to open, the baby's head needs to be lower and actually pushing ON the cervix.....that is what signals it to open. That was so disappointing, I almost cried!
The midwife sat on the bed and said that things were just pretty slow. She said I could try walking the halls/stairs again if I wanted to, to see if that made a difference - or, we could also go home and go about our lives until it starts again and they're 3-4 minutes apart. She said very kindly, that I don't want to have to stay there for days with nothing happening - might as well go home and see if things happen. I could NOT believe it - I mean seriously, at this point I was SEVEN days late!!! So crazy. I asked about maybe breaking my water, and she said that even in the hospital they probably wouldn't do that, because the baby's head was still too high. It could be dangerous for the baby. She did suggest stripping my membranes but said it's pretttttty painful so not really suggested.
They also said - you know, don't feel any pressure to leave, either - we are here to stay as long as you feel you need or want to. They encouraged us to maybe go walking at the mall, or go watch a movie, and at the very least go out for breakfast and see what happens. Maybe just being up & around would shake things up a bit. I was relieved to hear that they were OK with us kind of just basing ourselves there and that we didn't actually have to go home. Part of the stress about going home too, was that all the kids were at their babysitters and I'd already "wasted" one of the precious 5 nights of having them gone. If we did go home, would we get the kids and tell all the babysitters that it was a false alarm? Would we just leave them there and hope things happened soon?
Then one of the midwives had an idea. She said the baby is locked into the pelvis pretty tight right now, he's just not down far enough. So what we need to do is kind of shake the baby loose, so he can settle down into the pelvis again, only farthur down. She had me get on all fours on the bed and do cat-like stretches, like yoga...arch my back up, then under. Shake your booty, she said, and roll your hips. Bret laughed at me and yes, I probably did look pretty dorky but at that point - I was pretty much game for anything just so I wouldn't have to go home!! I did that for five minutes.
After that I hopped into the shower, and was shocked to have FIVE hard contractions in a row!! I don't take long showers, like maybe 10 minutes - so to have five in the shower made them like 2 minutes apart. They were hard too - a couple of them I had to stop what I was doing and grip the bar, concentrating on breathing in long & slow, breathing out long & slow. This is where the hypnobirthing CD became invaluable to me. I think that each person probably takes something different from a CD like that - and for me, the main thing that stuck out in my mind was to breath in really deep from my stomach where the baby is. So I'd breath in and at the same time let the air expand my stomach, then as I was breathing out, I would say, "3....2.....1....relax, Sherah....." I can't even say how much that helped me. As SOON as I relaxed, I would immediately feel less pain and could focus and get through it. Before I actually said those words in my head, I would start to tense up and almost couldn't help but fight the pain.
I told the midwives about what happened, as we were on our way out to go get something to eat. In the middle of talking to them, I felt another one come on and for the first time ever in front of them, I had to close my eyes and concentrate on the contraction; it was pretty painful, I was shaking a little. They were like okay, this is good - we haven't seen you do this before! We decided to go for breakfast and as we were walking into the restaurant, another one hit me......hard. I had to stop and lean against Bret trying not to fight the pain but relax. I couldn't move until it was over.
Once in the restaurant, Bret told the waitress I was in labor and asked to expedite our order. It's so funny when people hear you're in labor, they either freak out or get all gushy, LOL. She was super sweet and we got our order in like, 3 minutes. I ended up having my first SAD food of the day - I just was ravenous and not in the mood to eat the bananas or oranges we had brought. I ordered a veggie omelet, fruit, and it came with 3 small wheat pancakes. I ate the entire thing practically in one gulp and was still hungry! But we both agreed I'd regret it later if I ordered anything else, so I just drank more water.
After being there for about 20 min. and having some painful contractions, we left and they slowed wayyy down again. I didn't have another one for maybe 20 min. We went to Fred Meyer's and got some Christmas stuff for the kids, tried to park at the very end of the parking lot so we could walk a bit more - and then went back to the birthing center. I was kind of dreading going back because of the contrax slowing down AGAIN - I really didn't want to go home!
Because of the new intensity of the contractions, my midwife decided to check me again - it was 3pm. I was at four, and the baby's head was down, she could feel the bag of water! Yay! She advised me to stay, and I determined to walk the stairs again to get things started. So I did that for about 15 min, but it was a little different because it's a big office with lots of doctors and such - people were all around and I didn't feel very comfortable going through those hard contractions with people staring. It did start them up again, though - about 5-10 min. apart. So I went back in, and tried to take a nap.
I wasn't very successful napping. I would get hit with a contraction and have to jump out of bed and roll on the birthing ball using my hypnotherapy technique. Which I was very rapidly not being able to do...it was getting harder to focus. At 3:45 or so, I just started bawling on the ball after a contraction. It had been an especially hard one, and Bret was sleeping - the room was dark and I felt like I wanted to get into the tub but the water wasn't ready. I just cried....everything was getting overwhelming, having had little sleep, not much as far as labor goes, my contrax were starting to hurt ALOT and I was feeling scared for what was to come.
The midwife came in and asked what was wrong, and she could tell something had changed. She said most likely I was in transition (I didn't believe her, it didn't seem like it had gotten that bad yet) and then told a concerned Bret (who had woken up surprised to see my crying) that it's usual to get weepy towards the end. I got in the tub and pretty much after that, things are a blur.
I got hit with the worst contractions ever shortly after that and everything just got kind of abstract - I retreated into myself somewhere to almost an animalistic sort of place. I hung on to Bret's hand and squeezed it HARD (my entire arm was sore the next day!) with each contraction, and was quite the vocal person during each one. I tried to remember that low, open-throated noises help the cervix to open - and also at one point it felt totally good to laugh-cry. I felt when I did that, the baby moved further through the canal. The main thing I kept thinking was OMG I can't keep doing this for a long time!! I hope hope hope this is almost over! But I couldn't believe it would be because so much had to happen. I kept looking at my stomach and noticing it still wasn't "empty looking" and it was going to be forever until it actually entered the canal.
In reality, I had the baby at 5:17 so things actually did happen pretty fast, as is my history. I went from being dilated to 4 at 3pm to delivering at 5:17 so that's pretty fast! Having a water birth was very cool. I was able to fluidly move from different positions as soon as I felt my body tell me to - and having read Ina May Gaskin's book, I had complete confidence that my body would tell me what to do. It was nice to have that reassurance instead of wondering if I was doing it "right" and if I should be doing something else. I can't compare it pain-wise to a normal out of water birth because I've never done that without pain meds and/or an epidural.
I reached that point where I felt like I couldn't handle the pain any longer, and in the back of my head I remembered people telling me, and reading, that that means I'm near the end. So that helped me to hold on a little longer. Feeling the baby coming out was the most painful thing ever, but it was really cool to feel it!! With an epidural, you don't really feel anything. I loved how the midwives had almost no intervention in my delivery except to tell me to focus sometimes, and they also directed me to slow down a little when I was trying to push the baby out. They never told me to push at a certain time, they let my body tell me when to do that. Once the baby was out, that was such a good feeling!!! To know it was over, this long awaited "trial" so to speak, was over.
I spoke to the baby as he was put on my chest, and he immediately craned his neck up and looked at me like - Hi mama!! It was so cute. He wasn't bloody or anything - and the water was still amazingly clear....they told me I was a really clean birther....LOL. The afterbirth cramps were really intense for me - part of it was my body completely rebelled against going through "that" again and I had no patience for feeling any pain again.
Evidently when the baby is born, there is still quite a bit of it's blood in the cord, so if it's cut too soon it can actually make the baby anemic. So I had asked them, and they said they usually do this, to wait to cut the cord until it was done pulsing. I never even saw or paid attention to whether it was pulsing or not, but they waited until about 15 minutes had gone by to cut the cord. After that I was ready to get out, and they had me deliver the placenta. Geez, that was hard! I didn't want to push it out - it was like my body just would NOT obey me even though I was cramping and knew it needed to come out.
Finally they had me sit on a birthing stool above the water. As soon as my tummy was out of the water, the cramps increased WAY harder! That is the only comparison I have pain-wise to being in the water vs. out. I'd read about women standing up in labor and quickly sitting back down, refusing to get out of the tub because of the increase in intensity of contractions when being out of the water. Interesting, huh.
After the placenta was out, they helped me out of the tub and I went straight to the bed and lay there with the baby for a while, and they checked to see if I'd torn or anything. I had some small "scratches" which they said would heal nicely on their own, no stitches required. She asked me to kegel, and said don't worry if you can't because most people aren't able to - but she was really surprised when I could strongly kegel. Credit to being raw! Just kidding, who knows, huh?
I was also able to have a bowel movement about 7 hours later which is a record for me - I was able to pee about 30 minutes after giving birth, also a record. I felt very clear headed, although tired and the afterbirth cramps were pretty intense. I guess they get worse the more babies you have. The baby was also able to latch on very well and I could tell he was alert and able to nurse like a champ. None of my other babies have been that none-sleepy after birth, and I credit that to no pain meds in his system.
So - that's the birth story! It was more painful than I thought, and less "smooth" than I had hoped a raw birth would be. It did go rather fast at the end, but I had hoped that I would have a much faster labor, like maybe 5 hours total or something. Guess not! I'm so happy & proud to say that my little raw baby, who was raised in gestation on a 95% raw diet is 100% healthy and weighed in at a fat 8lb 2oz, 21" long.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Week 40: Day 5 ~ 4 Days overdue & eating struggles!
I'm starting to lose my steam for this pregnancy and eating 100% raw to finish off - I really want to be raw so that my labor & delivery won't be burdened by unnecessary, heavy food.......but this waiting thing is really getting to me. As long as I don't think about it and just go about my regular busy life I'm OK, but when I start wondering when the baby is going to come, wishing it would hurry up already.....I start getting emotionally frustrated and want to just eat something really bad for me. Mostly, chocolate! And swiss cheese. LOL.
Don't worry though, I usually can't handle more than one SAD meal per day before I'm ALL about getting back on board, so it shouldn't be too bad - especially if I eat a SAD meal early in the day and don't go to sleep on a lump of lead in my stomach. That is the worst feeling! And as always, I never ever wake up purposing to eat one SAD meal per day. Always my goal is to be 100% each & every day, so I'm not giving up, by any means!
This morning I woke up and didn't feel like making anything raw like my usual OJ, chocolate shake, and chocolate pudding. I skipped my wheatgrass shot, just didn't have the stomach for it. Then I had a few mandarin oranges and 1/3 of a pineapple - both of which curbed my hunger but very soon it's back with a fierce vengeance: FEED ME!! So I hopped in the car and bought some eggnog at DH's request (gross!) and some swiss cheese for me, came home, and made myself two sandwiches with swiss cheese & turkey & mayo & pepper. My stomach was all gurgling and growling while I was eating it.
But the GOOD thing is - I had a victory at the store! (Never go shopping when you're hungry, by the way!) I actually passed the holiday chocolates, then stopped my cart and walked back to the candy display. The chocolate was sitting there, my favorite truffles that just melt in your mouth - aaaack! It was so tempting but I forced myself to walk away. Then I went to the movie store to get a movie ...... and there was the ice-cream display, with chocolate chip cookie dough Haagen Daz that sounded really good. But no, I physically removed myself from that spot and left with my movies.
The thing that kept going through my mind was remembering how I FELT after I ate those things. Especially the chocolate, it seriously is like standing on a rug and having someone pull it out from under me. I fall FLAT on my face and can't get up from the couch for hours.......am very irritable with the kids.....and feel so completely crappy that I don't want to deal with anything and am generally mad at the world. And to top it off, I never know when I'm going to go into labor so how very lame to do THAT to myself on purpose, plus go into labor on top of it!
So I ate my sandwich and as is usual after eating SAD food, my body is asking for more, more, MORE because it doesn't satisfy nutritionally as much as raw does. This is when I would eat the chocolate because even though I'm full, I'm still wanting more. Kind of weird how that works.
Last night I had contractions regularly 8 minutes apart from 8pm until about midnight when we went to bed. I was writing them down, timing them and everything - even having to breath long & slow through some of them! They completely peetered out after I laid down in bed....so weird. Part of me is starting to wonder if I'm even capable of going into labor on my own, since it seems like it just keeps starting & stopping so much. But then I remember, duh, with ALL FIVE of my last births I was late - and yes, my body worked very well to go into labor on it's own. I've never been induced so there's no reason I will be this time.
So the waiting game continues. I'm actually relieved in some ways because my 19 mo. old DD is sick and really miserable. She's a total Mommy's girl and would have a hard time at the sitter anyway, let alone feeling this way. Most of my other kids are well, at least well enough to be without me for five days - although DD 3 seems to be having some kind of relapse. Lots of coughing, runny nose/eyes, slight fever, rosy cheeks, and my baby just wanders around the house kind of half crying/half whining for me to pick her up most of the time. So it's just as well that I'm home, here with her - I'm kind of hoping for my own peace of mind that this baby waits until maybe Monday, when she's alot better. What a time for them to get sick, huh? But it's all in God's perfect plan, and I'm so happy I can rest assured in that.
Don't worry though, I usually can't handle more than one SAD meal per day before I'm ALL about getting back on board, so it shouldn't be too bad - especially if I eat a SAD meal early in the day and don't go to sleep on a lump of lead in my stomach. That is the worst feeling! And as always, I never ever wake up purposing to eat one SAD meal per day. Always my goal is to be 100% each & every day, so I'm not giving up, by any means!
This morning I woke up and didn't feel like making anything raw like my usual OJ, chocolate shake, and chocolate pudding. I skipped my wheatgrass shot, just didn't have the stomach for it. Then I had a few mandarin oranges and 1/3 of a pineapple - both of which curbed my hunger but very soon it's back with a fierce vengeance: FEED ME!! So I hopped in the car and bought some eggnog at DH's request (gross!) and some swiss cheese for me, came home, and made myself two sandwiches with swiss cheese & turkey & mayo & pepper. My stomach was all gurgling and growling while I was eating it.
But the GOOD thing is - I had a victory at the store! (Never go shopping when you're hungry, by the way!) I actually passed the holiday chocolates, then stopped my cart and walked back to the candy display. The chocolate was sitting there, my favorite truffles that just melt in your mouth - aaaack! It was so tempting but I forced myself to walk away. Then I went to the movie store to get a movie ...... and there was the ice-cream display, with chocolate chip cookie dough Haagen Daz that sounded really good. But no, I physically removed myself from that spot and left with my movies.
The thing that kept going through my mind was remembering how I FELT after I ate those things. Especially the chocolate, it seriously is like standing on a rug and having someone pull it out from under me. I fall FLAT on my face and can't get up from the couch for hours.......am very irritable with the kids.....and feel so completely crappy that I don't want to deal with anything and am generally mad at the world. And to top it off, I never know when I'm going to go into labor so how very lame to do THAT to myself on purpose, plus go into labor on top of it!
So I ate my sandwich and as is usual after eating SAD food, my body is asking for more, more, MORE because it doesn't satisfy nutritionally as much as raw does. This is when I would eat the chocolate because even though I'm full, I'm still wanting more. Kind of weird how that works.
Last night I had contractions regularly 8 minutes apart from 8pm until about midnight when we went to bed. I was writing them down, timing them and everything - even having to breath long & slow through some of them! They completely peetered out after I laid down in bed....so weird. Part of me is starting to wonder if I'm even capable of going into labor on my own, since it seems like it just keeps starting & stopping so much. But then I remember, duh, with ALL FIVE of my last births I was late - and yes, my body worked very well to go into labor on it's own. I've never been induced so there's no reason I will be this time.
So the waiting game continues. I'm actually relieved in some ways because my 19 mo. old DD is sick and really miserable. She's a total Mommy's girl and would have a hard time at the sitter anyway, let alone feeling this way. Most of my other kids are well, at least well enough to be without me for five days - although DD 3 seems to be having some kind of relapse. Lots of coughing, runny nose/eyes, slight fever, rosy cheeks, and my baby just wanders around the house kind of half crying/half whining for me to pick her up most of the time. So it's just as well that I'm home, here with her - I'm kind of hoping for my own peace of mind that this baby waits until maybe Monday, when she's alot better. What a time for them to get sick, huh? But it's all in God's perfect plan, and I'm so happy I can rest assured in that.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Week 40: Day 2 ~ 1 day overdue!
Today I am so tired! My body is just tired, I don't seem to have the energy that I had yesterday, even though I did get a fairly decent night's sleep (in between peeing like every 2 hours!). I'm struggling to keep the house clean every day - and it's one of those things where, if I cleaned it yesterday then it's manageable today. If I clean it today, I'll keep on top of it. But if I decide to take the day "off" then it'll be a complete disaster and overwhelming tomorrow. I really, really want to come home to a clean house, especially since there won't be any kids here to make messes for five days.
So all morning I've been trying to clean up and haven't managed much.....although my room is picked up and has a candle burning (I'm so into vanilla scents right now!) and dinner is made (Cola pot roast w/veggies) in the slow cooker. So those two things are good accomplishments so far. Yesterday I did ALOT - vacuumed the bedrooms & hallway, folded & put away 4 loads of laundry, swept the kitchen/entry/2 bathrooms, picked up the kitchen & play room, did all the dishes & handwashing, and actually made some home-made bread with dinner. All by 4:30 because after that, we left to go to a Christmas party.
I'm also having a hard time eating now - I just don't feel like preparing anything, and I don't feel like eating the fruits we have on hand, apples-bananas-oranges. Normally I would just run to the store and get stocked up especially on pineapple, but I am just so tired. Last night after the party DH & I went and paid double at Roth's for oranges just because I don't have the energy to take the kids to the market today for the $19 box of oranges. They close at 6pm, and DH is rarely home by then so it's up to me to take the kids if I want to go while they're open.
Lately I've been having alot of avocado, raw cocoa, bananas, apples, OJ, wheatgrass juice (2oz.) and ice. That's not such a great diet to be on so exclusively. Green smoothies hold no interest for me, but I forced myself to have one yesterday before the party so I wouldn't be tempted to eat their food. Go figure, they had an awesome spread there - a huge green salad with lots of raw toppings, and a big platter of fruit including pineapple, kiwi, grapes, grapefruit, etc. They also had salmon which is the only meat I usually let myself eat - but I didn't have any, I was too full from the smoothie.
I had very little contractions last night which was a change from the previous 2 nights - and I have another appointment tomorrow. I was hoping that I wouldn't make that appointment, but it looks like I will. Oh well - it'll be a nice break to have the kids babysat at my SIL's and I get to have a couple of hours to myself.
It's weird trying to be ready at any moment, yet having to continue life as usual. Like I still need to pack everyone.....I keep putting it off because I just don't "feel" like it will be today/tonight that we go in, and I don't feel like living out of their bags, but I'm going to regret not doing it if I don't get it done. Especially packing myself & the baby - the list is like a mile long.
I have to say, though, that I am most definitely not completely miserable like I have been at this point in all my other pregnancies. I remember thinking before, if only DH knew what I was feeling, how awful and just hurting everywhere, that he would have alot more compassion. I don't feel like that now at all - my stomach just feels so heavy that everything seems to be more work, but I have NO backache or any other type of aches for that matter. Not even the joint pain in my hips that usually plagues me and prevents me from sleeping. My cervix keeps twinging like someone is stabbing me with a knife really quick (okay realistically, it doesn't hurt THAT bad but it's kind of hard to describe) so I know things are happening at least. I'm so thankful for this entire pregnancy and how easily I've been able to continue on being a mom & wife to DH & 5 kids. It's no small task and God has been SO GOOD to give me the strength I needed!!
That being said, though, today the kids are all being really fussy and fighting and teasing. Like all day. Just dumb stuff, like they're eating lunch right now and DS 5 is whining because DD 3 is "looking at him". So they started spitting their food at each other, and I decided they're going to be in quiet time this afternoon. I really need a quiet break from them today so I don't start losing it with them. Quiet times/naps are heaven sent! =)
I might have my DD 8 take some more belly pics tonight if I remember - so I can compare 32 week belly pics with 40 week belly pics. And see overall if there is any puffiness or if it's my imagination. I'm pretty sure it's not - my boots were a little tighter on my calves last night when I put them on for the party. They've never been tight before.
Oh yes, I HAVE to share about this book - it has really, really made a huge difference in my psychological preparedness for this baby, at least as far as handling pain and really understanding what is going on in my body. Also what to do for the pain, how to handle transition and just everything. I'm not all the way done with it, but I am going to highly recommend this to anyone who is planning to have a natural birth, especially to read it in the last few days before the baby is due.
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (I got my copy at the library)
So all morning I've been trying to clean up and haven't managed much.....although my room is picked up and has a candle burning (I'm so into vanilla scents right now!) and dinner is made (Cola pot roast w/veggies) in the slow cooker. So those two things are good accomplishments so far. Yesterday I did ALOT - vacuumed the bedrooms & hallway, folded & put away 4 loads of laundry, swept the kitchen/entry/2 bathrooms, picked up the kitchen & play room, did all the dishes & handwashing, and actually made some home-made bread with dinner. All by 4:30 because after that, we left to go to a Christmas party.
I'm also having a hard time eating now - I just don't feel like preparing anything, and I don't feel like eating the fruits we have on hand, apples-bananas-oranges. Normally I would just run to the store and get stocked up especially on pineapple, but I am just so tired. Last night after the party DH & I went and paid double at Roth's for oranges just because I don't have the energy to take the kids to the market today for the $19 box of oranges. They close at 6pm, and DH is rarely home by then so it's up to me to take the kids if I want to go while they're open.
Lately I've been having alot of avocado, raw cocoa, bananas, apples, OJ, wheatgrass juice (2oz.) and ice. That's not such a great diet to be on so exclusively. Green smoothies hold no interest for me, but I forced myself to have one yesterday before the party so I wouldn't be tempted to eat their food. Go figure, they had an awesome spread there - a huge green salad with lots of raw toppings, and a big platter of fruit including pineapple, kiwi, grapes, grapefruit, etc. They also had salmon which is the only meat I usually let myself eat - but I didn't have any, I was too full from the smoothie.
I had very little contractions last night which was a change from the previous 2 nights - and I have another appointment tomorrow. I was hoping that I wouldn't make that appointment, but it looks like I will. Oh well - it'll be a nice break to have the kids babysat at my SIL's and I get to have a couple of hours to myself.
It's weird trying to be ready at any moment, yet having to continue life as usual. Like I still need to pack everyone.....I keep putting it off because I just don't "feel" like it will be today/tonight that we go in, and I don't feel like living out of their bags, but I'm going to regret not doing it if I don't get it done. Especially packing myself & the baby - the list is like a mile long.
I have to say, though, that I am most definitely not completely miserable like I have been at this point in all my other pregnancies. I remember thinking before, if only DH knew what I was feeling, how awful and just hurting everywhere, that he would have alot more compassion. I don't feel like that now at all - my stomach just feels so heavy that everything seems to be more work, but I have NO backache or any other type of aches for that matter. Not even the joint pain in my hips that usually plagues me and prevents me from sleeping. My cervix keeps twinging like someone is stabbing me with a knife really quick (okay realistically, it doesn't hurt THAT bad but it's kind of hard to describe) so I know things are happening at least. I'm so thankful for this entire pregnancy and how easily I've been able to continue on being a mom & wife to DH & 5 kids. It's no small task and God has been SO GOOD to give me the strength I needed!!
That being said, though, today the kids are all being really fussy and fighting and teasing. Like all day. Just dumb stuff, like they're eating lunch right now and DS 5 is whining because DD 3 is "looking at him". So they started spitting their food at each other, and I decided they're going to be in quiet time this afternoon. I really need a quiet break from them today so I don't start losing it with them. Quiet times/naps are heaven sent! =)
I might have my DD 8 take some more belly pics tonight if I remember - so I can compare 32 week belly pics with 40 week belly pics. And see overall if there is any puffiness or if it's my imagination. I'm pretty sure it's not - my boots were a little tighter on my calves last night when I put them on for the party. They've never been tight before.
Oh yes, I HAVE to share about this book - it has really, really made a huge difference in my psychological preparedness for this baby, at least as far as handling pain and really understanding what is going on in my body. Also what to do for the pain, how to handle transition and just everything. I'm not all the way done with it, but I am going to highly recommend this to anyone who is planning to have a natural birth, especially to read it in the last few days before the baby is due.
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (I got my copy at the library)
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Week 40: Day 1 ~ We're THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am SO excited to be posting on this day - I'm officially "due"!! It's been a pretty long last few days - it seems like the last days just kind of drag. Since I know I'm always late, 2-6 days late with all of my kids, I knew I wouldn't be early, so to finally be here, at my due date, I officially know that it really could be any time.
Weeks 1-10: 134 to 141
Weeks 11-20: 141 to 141
Weeks 21-25: 141 to 144
Weeks 26-29: 144 to 149
Weeks 30-34: 151 to 152
Weeks 35-38: 153 to 154
Week 39: 156
Week 40: 158
Weight gain so far: 24 lbs.
I weighed in this morning at 158!! So that's a 24lb weight gain - I think I'm getting a little bloated, maybe retaining water or something......but that's OK; it'll soon be over!! I am getting so excited, but at the same time trying not to be because I know it could be several days before I get to meet this sweet little boy. But it's very cool to know that as each contraction hits, it could be the start of real labor.
The past few nights I've had some serious contractions.....last night they were about 8 min. apart for over an hour, and they're getting fairly painful. I continued to have them all through the night, I'd wake up restlessly, but then drift back off to sleep and before I knew it, it was morning time. I'm very glad for these past couple of days, though - I wake up in the morning feeling like I have been given one more day to do all the things that still need to be done!
Yesterday I called all the babysitters and went over the things I needed to with them, I printed out the packing lists for each child & myself....and had DH take over the task of giving the 4 younger kids baths. Not an easy task! I'm glad for today because I'm going to make sure the house is clean - floors vacuumed and ready - and then pack everyone. I think this baby will come pretty soon, after the close calls I've had the past few nights, and I really don't want to be stuck with having to pack in the middle of the night. Not when all I want to do is sleep, and not when the contractions are as tight or more so than they were last night.
I gave in and ate some crackers & swiss cheese in the middle of the night before last, I woke up just STARVING and ate some raw olives & dates. Then I remembered the swiss cheese I'd had DH get for Chicken Cordon Bleu casserole I was going to make for dinner this week......swiss cheese is my absolute favorite cheese ever, and I rarely buy it because I can't resist it! So, case in point. I had that twice in the past two days, and now it's gone - thankfully - and I've been raw 100% again for almost 24 hours. I had the most awful, persistant heartburn the past 2 days too - and I'm hoping THAT goes away with eating raw again. I hate heartburn, and I hate the thought of taking antacid medicine, it's so not good for you.
So that's about it - we have a work Christmas Party to go to tonight - and I'm looking forward to that, with DH. I'll try to post on here when we're headed out to the birth center and then look forward to writing all about my very first raw, natural water birth! =)
Weeks 1-10: 134 to 141
Weeks 11-20: 141 to 141
Weeks 21-25: 141 to 144
Weeks 26-29: 144 to 149
Weeks 30-34: 151 to 152
Weeks 35-38: 153 to 154
Week 39: 156
Week 40: 158
Weight gain so far: 24 lbs.
I weighed in this morning at 158!! So that's a 24lb weight gain - I think I'm getting a little bloated, maybe retaining water or something......but that's OK; it'll soon be over!! I am getting so excited, but at the same time trying not to be because I know it could be several days before I get to meet this sweet little boy. But it's very cool to know that as each contraction hits, it could be the start of real labor.
The past few nights I've had some serious contractions.....last night they were about 8 min. apart for over an hour, and they're getting fairly painful. I continued to have them all through the night, I'd wake up restlessly, but then drift back off to sleep and before I knew it, it was morning time. I'm very glad for these past couple of days, though - I wake up in the morning feeling like I have been given one more day to do all the things that still need to be done!
Yesterday I called all the babysitters and went over the things I needed to with them, I printed out the packing lists for each child & myself....and had DH take over the task of giving the 4 younger kids baths. Not an easy task! I'm glad for today because I'm going to make sure the house is clean - floors vacuumed and ready - and then pack everyone. I think this baby will come pretty soon, after the close calls I've had the past few nights, and I really don't want to be stuck with having to pack in the middle of the night. Not when all I want to do is sleep, and not when the contractions are as tight or more so than they were last night.
I gave in and ate some crackers & swiss cheese in the middle of the night before last, I woke up just STARVING and ate some raw olives & dates. Then I remembered the swiss cheese I'd had DH get for Chicken Cordon Bleu casserole I was going to make for dinner this week......swiss cheese is my absolute favorite cheese ever, and I rarely buy it because I can't resist it! So, case in point. I had that twice in the past two days, and now it's gone - thankfully - and I've been raw 100% again for almost 24 hours. I had the most awful, persistant heartburn the past 2 days too - and I'm hoping THAT goes away with eating raw again. I hate heartburn, and I hate the thought of taking antacid medicine, it's so not good for you.
So that's about it - we have a work Christmas Party to go to tonight - and I'm looking forward to that, with DH. I'll try to post on here when we're headed out to the birth center and then look forward to writing all about my very first raw, natural water birth! =)
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