Same day cont'd

I just wanted to pop in and say that today went really well. Not perfect, but really well. I didn't exercise, oops, I actually totally forgot about it! But probably just as well - my brother came over to hang out for a while, then my sister from Virginia called and we talked for a while amidst my going from room to room as crying kids followed me, lol! Finally I locked my bedroom door and went into my closet and shut the door while they were banging on my door saying that someone or other was teasing. Is it just me, or do kids have this special radar that says "Be naughty when Mom is on the phone"??? =)

I ate 100% raw up until dinner time - and so did Jack. This is actually a big milestone for me, because usually I am able to eat raw until about 1pm when the kids are napping and I want to just veg at the computer and eat something that sounds good. Usually chocolate, or crackers/cheese, whatever. I made an absolutely scrumptious Ham & Potato Soup from scratch with homemade Rosemary Bread for the company we had tonight. I fed some to Jack and also had some myself - but not too much. Okay, well maybe a little too much bread.

But looking back, I actually felt pretty good today up until about 45 minutes after I ate that dinner. =( So tomorrow will hopefully be better...I plan to try Kale Chips in my dehydrator if I can scare up all the ingredients. They've received lots of raves and I want to up my greens so...I'll let you know how that goes.

Jack & I finished the day by sharing a coconut - he got the milk, which filled up an 8oz bottle and I got the meat (but I missed the milk; I love it too!!). I let him try an avocado - he was really brave, swallowing the first bite but shuddering a little bit. Didn't want another bite, though. So I mixed half a large avo with about 5 partially thawed strawberries and he had 2-3 bites of that, no problem. Then I think he just wanted to go to bed with something to drink, it was about 10:15 at that time. We'll see how much he drank in the morning....I'm so happy that he likes the coconut milk!!

Week 13: Day 3 ~ Baby Greens & New Inspiration!

Ahhhh yes, I love the feeling of new inspiration! Funny, too - it came in the form of wanting to feed Jack more raw. I stopped feeding him formula about 2 weeks ago since he is now 1 year old and considered old enough to drink cow's milk instead of formula. I am definitely NOT one to advocate cow's milk in the least, but since the formula I fed him WAS cow-milk based, and expensive, I figured might as well give him non-fat milk (which is what my other children drink) when he wants a bottle. But not often, since he mostly eats solid food anyway.

Almost to the day I started doing that, like 2-3 8oz. bottles in the course of 24 hours, he isn't sleeping through the night very well. He gives me the impression that he is hungry when he wakes up, and not wanting to do the full-blown in the highchair feeding, I give him the bottle. But it doesn't seem to last him very long. Sometimes he just fusses and he just drank the bottle.

I'm leaning more towards fresh juice and/or diluted canned juice - but I know that can rot the teeth. I would also like to start him on more nut mylks and also coconut milk - but both of those are kind of spendy to be feeding a baby 3 8oz. bottles each day.

Then I remembered the book I bought long ago when I was feeding Marie solids for the first time - called "Baby Greens". I spent about an hour reading it this morning while the children played and I got so inspired! Everything I have learned in the past came rushing back as I remembered why I love eating raw SO much. And how I feel so awesome on it!

But I also realized that pretty much, I shouldn't be so hard on myself for not being able to eat how I want to, because I honestly have been pretty sick. I've been in the "coping" stage for the past 2 months and the main priority was just to keep going on, keep going on, however I could. But now I think I'm at the point, 13 weeks, where if I am able to eat raw I think it will turn things around. Last night I spent the majority of the evening on the couch feeling awful, and I'm tired of that. I know it's probably because of how I ate yesterday - spaghetti w/beef (although organic), pancakes w/peanut butter & syrup, amongst other things.

I'm also inspired by the little kicks I am starting to feel. To realize that there is a precious baby inside of me who is greatly impacted by what I put into my body. I look at Jack and remember how I was mostly raw during my pregnancy with him, and how is body is probably used to that and will thrive on that kind of diet even now.

I'm excited to start again! I'm not going to say, "We'll see how long this lasts" or anything like that - I'm going to take it one day at a time. If I fall, then I'll get back up again and keep going on. I plan to skin brush once per day, and also do some sort of exercise each day, even if it's just 15 minutes in 5 minute increments! I'm feeling quite restless in that area, actually, and have been wanting to go on power walks for some time....so that is going to be nice, to feel the blood pumping in my veins and feel that muscle soreness the next day. The feeling that means - LIFE!

Starting weight: 127
Week 8: 130
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 132
Week 11: 135
Week 12: 136
Week 13: 137

Going back to my pregnancy with Jack to compare...at 13 weeks I was also getting into powerwalking. It was almost summer so that is different compared to the bitter cold & snow/ice we've been experiencing, but at this point last pregnancy I wrote,

"I can't BELIEVE this, but I've actually been power-walking 3 miles every morning for the past 4 days!"

Pretty cool! Must be about that time. =) Weight-wise, I weighed 142 at this point for week 13. Realizing that made me feel so much better about my weight gain! I think I look at myself and think ugh, FAT! But in reality, I'm 5lbs less than with Jack, and I ate MUCH better with him! By week 14 I had only gained 9lbs, though, so that kind of shows the difference.

I feel newly challenged to give my children more raw food. I know for a fact that when I am eating all raw, they eat WAY more raw simply because, well, they always want what I'm eating, lol! This morning I made OJ for my breakfast and Marie (2) immediately headed to the drawer to dig out a straw for her share. Later I opened a coconut to give Jack the milk in his bottle (which he loves! Yay!) and both Marie & Grace (4) begged for some of the coconut meat.

For lunch, I served bananas cut in slices using my egg slicer, and thawed some strawberries to make a strawberry/agave sauce in the vitamix to pour over (picture at the top shows the yummy creation!). My kids were really hungry and every single one of them dug into the bananas first - before anything else! I got my slicer for Christmas and I'm excited to use it on kiwi as well as other soft fruit to make it more fun for them. Plus, less cutting work for me! =)

Jack and I have officially been 100% raw for half the day...baby steps! There's more I wanted to write but I can't remember now. I'll add more later if I remember....

Week 12: Day 2 ~ I feel like I'm going to cry...

I'm feeling rather emotional today. I feel like such a failure, this pregnancy so far has been such a hard ride for me after my last one. I've done things much differently as far as eating goes this time around, though, so I'm not sure why I expected it to be the same. But regardless, it's been much more of a "grin & bear it" type of pregnancy, compared to my last one that seemed like I wasn't even pregnant most of the time.

I figured it out, though. When I was pregnant with Jack, I went on a Master Cleanse for at least 10 days, I think it was. Then I ate mostly raw after that - and I got pregnant with Jack right about at the end of the cleanse. Thus, my body was cleaned out and ready to receive the baby and I continued on without getting sick because there was no junk in my system.

With this pregnancy, I was also on the master cleanse when I got pregnant (what is up with that, by the way? lol!) but then due to emotional eating (didn't know I was pregnant) I went way downhill and ate quite a bit of junk for like 2-3 weeks in a row. It seems like after that, I could never get back to just eating 100% raw. And when I did, I was still sick so it was like...what's the point? My body never had the chance to get cleaned out before pregnancy.

But anyway - here I am, on week 12 and I do feel better as far as nausea goes, at least. I would venture to say that it's about 98% gone, with just the occasional deep breathing needed to get that feeling away. But I can't stay away from junk! And I'm also gaining weight, quite rapidly it seems like. On the scale during week 11 I was at 135, then the next day 136 (9lbs in the first trimester? I guess it doesn't seem so bad when I put it that way). I know, though, that weight can go up & down each day so I'm counting it as 135 in the "official" pregnancy weight log. I haven't dared to weigh since then...I can't deal with that right now, as I have continued to eat badly. I probably weigh about 140 right now. =(

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut - I want so badly to eat raw and have a wonderful pregnancy again - I KNOW it can be done, but for right now, it seems like my body still feels awful whenever I try to eat all raw. For like half the day I eat raw, determined to stick it out, then I give in and eat burritoes or grilled cheese sandwiches or whatever else strikes my fancy. Even a beef whopper from Burger King & fries one day! Almost always followed by chocolate or cookies or something full of sugar, and usually not just one. Then I feel sooo awful the rest of the day and it's all I can do to just take care of the kids. Why am I doing that to myself? I KNOW the results!

I hope that I'll be able to look back on this post in a month or two and be relieved that it didn't last, this funk that I'm in. I actually think that if I can pull myself out of this rut, I'll be able to see the success and continue on.

Right now I'm noticing these things that are definite warning signs, things that were different before:

Dull, lifeless hair
Weight gain (more than the normal should be)
No glow - my skin is also dull
Body odor
Acne
Bad gas

Maybe I can get excited about new recipes again...that usually helps. I suppose it's a little more rough because of the holidays and all the candy/chocolate available that comes from gifts and stocking stuff. And it doesn't help that my family all eats SAD - but the thing is, all of these things are obstacles that I've overcome before. It's just never been this severe, my inability to do what my head/heart wants to do, vs. what I actually do.

Well, our friends are due to arrive this evening, the family of five children ages 8 & under - for our Christmas holiday. I plan to eat all raw while they're here - for some reason it REALLY motivates me to eat well when people are watching - I suppose because I don't want anyone to know how much I eat ridiculous amounts of things sometimes. So here's hoping that on Friday when they are gone, I'll be able to log on and say HEY GUESS WHAT?!! I've been all raw for 3 days and I feel fantastic!

Starting weight: 127
Week 8: 130
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 132
Week 11: 135

Week 10: Day 2 ~ Day 4 of 100% Raw!

First of all, my weekly weigh-in:

Starting weight: 127
Week 8: 130
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 132

I decided to do an experiment. On Wednesday & Thursday of last week I didn't do very well with eating raw; I ate ALOT of SAD stuff - kind of like whatever I wanted. On Thursday I ended up being really, really sick - I threw up in the morning after eating a bunch of chocolate chips (second time THAT has happened; lesson learned - stay away from that much chocolate!) and then had nachos later that afternoon; very sick.

I'm getting nervous because we're having company for Christmas, a family with five young children. I know I CAN'T handle that while being this sick! I just can't! I totally "check out" and don't care about anything when I'm that sick, laying on the couch and poor DH gets all the work in his lap. It's one thing if this is just how it is, but it's another thing if I can control how sick I am. You know? If it is up to me, then it truly isn't fair to my family when I eat things that make me sicker.

So my experiment started on Friday - I decided to be 100% raw for a whole week and see how I do. IF I feel tons better then I'll go with the company coming. But IF I still feel totally sick, I am going to have to admit I can't handle it and cancel our plans....which I know is going to make the kids so disappointed.

For the first two days it was incredible! I was 50% better the first day, and 75% better the second day. I even went to Walmart on the second day, at 8pm and shopped for an hour with three of the older kids - and I am usually my sickest at night. So that in itself was pretty awesome.

On the third day, though, I went to church with four of the older children while DH stayed home with the younger two who were sick. I felt pretty good, overall, and stayed there until about 2:30 eating my bananas & chatting with the other moms who were there eating lunch w/their families.

It totally went downhill from there. I came home and ate 30 dates with pecans, which is an absolutely scrumptious dessert, by the way. Obviously, or I wouldn't have eaten so many, lol! I am *thinking* that it is possible I felt so sick because I didn't take care to eat very well. About an hour later I had one thai coconut w/the meat & milk - and then after that, 3 small oranges. I felt progressively worse and ended up feeling nauseous and totally out of it - I ate a smallish "taco" salad before bed and hit the sack at 9pm.

Here I am laying on the couch - this is typical; Jack thinks it is SO cool to have Mom on his level! But I have to cover my face...he also thinks it's fun to give me a "high 5" in my face. =)



I'm thinking I just let my stomach get too empty, and also I probably tried to do too much and got way overtired. The dates are rich in calories so they made me feel satiated but my stomach wasn't full. Today - I am sorely tempted to throw in the towel and gobble up all this SAD food that sounds super good to me - especially the beef spaghetti casserole & homemade rolls we had for dinner last night. I feel like throwing caution to the wind and just scarfing down a whole plateful, and also an Arby's bacon swiss chicken sandwich. What in the heck? Where is THAT coming from?! I know what meat does to me, and it's not pretty!

Probably because I haven't eaten yet this morning and I am super hungry right now. Kind of zoning out sitting here. I really wanted a pina colada and was preparing my tastebuds for that, then realized I have no pineapple or mangos. Darn it! OJ will have to do.

Yuck

I had to write a new post to get that gross looking Arby's sandwich off of the top, lol! Yes, I did end up going to Arby's and ate 2 beef n cheddar sandwiches, curly fries, and sip or two of a shake. Now I feel sick.

The yummy looking salad at the top of this post is what I made for lunch (Before the Arby's!). I had two BIG plate fulls which consisted of:

One small head of green leaf lettuce
1 mango
1 small avocado
6 macadamia nuts
6 large strawberries

The macadamia nuts are for the dressing. I don't actually put them on the salad - I put them in my vitamix with a little water, maybe 1 T. and then 1/4 of the Mango. Mmmm the combination of the two is just delicious, creamy and smooth with some chunks of nuts for crunchy effect. The oils in the nut blend to make it really good, especially when mixed with the sweet of the strawberries and the rich taste of avocadoes.

I was carrying my plate to the table in much anticipation of a delicious lunch, and it slipped out of my hands! The ENTIRE gooey mess all over my, ahem, not exactly sparkling clean carpet. CARPET! Ugh. Fortunately I was able to rescue most of it but ate it with much trepidition. The second plate was better - it was really good!

I'm going to eat raw for the rest of the day today.

Week 9: Day 4 ~ Arby's is calling me!

I want an Arby's beef & cheddar melt on an onion bread bun. Actually I want two or three of them. With curly fries & perhaps a Jamocha shake.

There. I got it out. lol! It's because of their dumb full-color flier that came in the mail yesterday full of coupons for 4/$5 melts and a free shake. It's funny to me how the thought of beef just makes me shudder when I think of it in the form of ground beef or some kind of stew meat/roast. I just can't handle the thought of putting that into my mouth - and it's not just the queasy pregnancy. I've always been like that since I watched the DVD "Eating". But when it's in the form of something like a roast beef sandwich where the meat is sliced so thin and doesn't resemble the fat juicy steaks.....it's OK. Weird huh?

By the way - "Mama" - would you like to watch that? I'd love to send you the DVD...it's absolutely incredible and the clearest DVD I've ever seen that gives you insight on the food we eat and what it does to our body.

The actual diet itself seems rather complicated to me, but it's kind of like a glorified raw diet - allowing alot more cooked but encouraging the reading of labels which I personally have never been able to do very well. I have the book too which I can send you - but it's the DVD that is the best. The book kind of makes my eyes glaze over.

Yesterday was fun! We had a family movie night - Narnia - and ate dinner early. Or at least, tried to - DH started telling a story at dinner about a little boy & how God answers prayers to the kids, and it took longer than I thought. It's interesting how I was getting impatient and wanting him to hurry up and finish so we could finish dishes and get on with family MOVIE night - when all the while, what he was telling them was so much MORE important than any movie. Good revelation, that!

We moved the couch sideways so there was enough room and dimmed the lights w/the Christmas tree glowing and got all cozy in our pajamas & favorite blankets. Of course all the little ones wanted to sit with Mommy, and that lasted for about 10 minutes and then I had to hand the 2 year old off to Daddy. My tummy was feeling quite squished. We made popcorn and quickly polished off 6 packages of microwave popcorn - wow! Good thing I got them for so cheap with coupons; I can see why big families find it cheaper to just pop their own. This was kettle corn though, mmmm!

Yesterday was quite the failure when it comes to eating raw, but it was actually a good day. I wasn't very sick, which is strange. There seems to be no rhyme or reason with this morning sickness thing. I had alot of Cheeto's and Doritoes, lots of chocolate chips, and then splurged with a $5 footlong veggie subway sandwich. Which I polished off & was still hungry after that! Later that night I had alot of popcorn and then a bunch of roasted pistachio nuts.

But I also had six oranges juiced and a big 32oz. chocolate shake, and two large apples before bed. So I guess the point is to look at the good things I ate...and start over today. If that darn Arby's wasn't calling me!

On Monday I made it over to Lifesource, our local organic restaurant that has all the expensive raw food bulk stuff. I got the stuff for my fav. salad and I'm going to go whip some up right now. This morning I had 3 big grapefruits juiced, yum! One meal at a time, one meal at a time.

Week 9: Day 1 ~ Weight & Eating Today

I weighed myself today and was 130lbs still. I weighed myself 2 days ago and I was 132, before I started eating 100% raw again. That is totally how it usually goes - I can easily gain or lose 2lbs every time I start eating cooked or stop eating cooked. So here's the stats so far:

Starting weight: 127
Week 8: 130
Week 9: 130

But it's very weird. By looking in the mirror I SWEAR I've gained 10lbs at least! All my shirts already are tight except a few that were loose on me before. My boobs aren't changing one bit but my "girth" or the width around my entire stomach & back (back bra strap seems to be tighter...grrr)seems to be widening - thicker. Which, is what it is supposed to do I SUPPOSE, but part of me is like gosh, it's just the uterus that is supposed to be growing. What is up with the whole back fat thing? Why on earth does my body feel that back fat is beneficial to hold on to during pregnancy? Hee hee....whatever though, I'm not going to stress about it, just think it's one of those kind of annoying things. As long as I still fit into my size XS Old Navy yoga pants I'll be happy! Although DH assures me that a bigger butt is not such a bad thing, lol. =)

Today I ate everything 100% raw except for some potatoes that were stir-fried in coconut oil w/italian seasoning which I made for my family tonight. It's really hard sometimes to cook and not be able to taste it, and I've been venturing in the coconut oil realm as a substitute for butter and vegetable oil. Coconut oil to me is kind of sweet so it seems weird to use it for something like potatoes, but it turned out good and I received no complaints other than the usual from kids who don't like potatoes anyway.

Tonight it was so cute, Jack joined us at the family table. We have now officially grown out of our nicely prim & proper looking table with six matching chairs. Normally Marie who is the 7th person, would be in her highchair and Jack just kind of plays around the foot of the table, having eaten his bananas or whatever earlier on his own schedule. He still loves loves loves his formula bottle and would exist entirely on that if I let him. He's kind of picky at the same time, though - doesn't like funny temperatures in food and also texture.

So tonight I took out the baby masher and instead of giving him corn kernels which he always promptly spits out making a funny face, I smashed them up & fed them to him with a spoon. Mmmm Mmm Mmm he just loved that, making those "mmmm" noises as I fed him. So he also got smashed potatoes, smashed peas, and smashed corn for dinner. I made ham with the potatoes but I can't bring myself to feed him meat just yet.

We pulled up an extra chair for Marie who is 2 1/2 and she loved it so much. She felt really big, and I felt good about giving her the metal fold-up chair because she can get that dirty and it's not a big deal. The other chairs are cloth covered so I've been wondering what I'll do about that. She needs a booster though, AND some kind of strap so she stops standing up, lol. She's cute.

We're also growing out of our car! It seats 8 people, and we're going to be 9 come this July. Kind of daunting the things that come up at once - we also have to pay for the birth, which gets spendy. But we have worked hard to be good stewards of our money and to be budget-wise so these things that come up, are only opportunities to be faithful with what God has given us, and we know He will provide.

So today I had:

6 corn tortilla wraps stuffed w/lots of lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, lime juice, salt, & pepper.
2 bananas
chocolate banana shake w/5 bananas + 1/4 cup sesame seeds for 7g protein
1/2 cup cooked potatoes
big bowl of chocolate coconut pudding with 1 1/2 avocadoes, coconut flakes, agave, & cocoa powder

It's late...better go to bed. School tomorrow, after 10 days of vacation! =)

Week 8: Day 7 ~ Yummy Mexican recipes!

Tomorrow starts week 9!! That's super nice...I've felt like being in week 8 has been pretty rough. Probably physicologically though...just knowing that my morning sickness usually kind of peaks at weeks 8 & 9. So I'm hoping that by week 10 I start having more better days than bad. But who knows...it might be like this until week 12.

Which I HOPE not because we're having some friends of ours come stay with us for 4-5 nights for Christmas this year! I'm really excited and so are the kids - it's really different for us, but it's one of those things where you just roll with the punches and see how it goes. They're a young family (J&J Hong for those of you who know them!) from our church and have five kids ages 8 & younger. Their kids are roughly the same ages/sex as ours and we've stayed with them during several conferences at our church center in the dorm. They'll be all sleeping in one of our bedrooms in our small 1200 square foot 3-bedroom house - we'll have lots of bodies running around but they're all pretty little so it should be okay. The main thing I'm worried about is being able to do this while still being sick, so if I'm still this sick 2 weeks until Christmas we'll probably have to postpone it until next year.

I can't believe it, but I've officially been 100% raw for a whole day & a half! I figured out that orange juice is not a good thing to have before bed. I had six oranges juiced before bed last night, felt fine, and then woke up tossing & turning at about 2am just feeling so sick! So I had three large grapefruits juiced in the middle of the night, and woke up super sick at 9am and threw up.....fortunately it was just dry heaves since there was nothing, and I mean NOTHING in my stomach. Which is probably the problem, I suppose. So tonight I'll eat something heavier...probably a banana or something before.

So let's see...today so far I have eaten:

6 oranges, juiced
1 serving avocado chocolate pudding
chocolate banana shake (5 bananas, tray of ice, 2 cups water, 1T. sesame seeds, 1/8 c. cocoa, 1/8 c. agave, almond flavoring, 1/4 tsp. each of Maca & Mesquite)
2 small tomatoes sliced w/salt & pepper
1/4 ice cold pineapple

I also had Ani Phyo's Coconut Breakfast Pancakes which tastes like candy and we ate right out of the bowl: (my 11 mo & 2 year old ate some too!)

1.5 cups flax seed, ground
1 T. liquid coconut oil
1/8 c. agave
1/8 c. maple syrup (not raw, but pure grade B Organic)
1/4 tsp. sea salt
1/8 c. water


In the dehydrator I have "South of the Border Corn Chips" going right now. Ingredients are:

4 cups frozen corn, thawed
1 tsp. garlic powder
4 tsp. mexican seasoning
(or liberal dashes of oregano, cumin, black pepper, 1/2 tsp salt, red pepper flakes, & chili powder)




Mix it all together in the food processor until it's like mush, and taste it. I just kept adding spices until I liked the way it tasted; I like spicy. So I spooned all the goop out onto a Teflex sheet on my dehydrator tray, and they should be ready in about 4 hours or so, after turning halfway through. Corn dehydrates pretty fast. I've made these before but spread this recipe out over two sheets, and they were paper thin and really crumbly. So this time it's a thicker spread and I hope to give them more of a thicker crunchy feel like regular chips. Sure smells good!

The other thing I have in the dehydrator and I am just drooling over & keep sneaking bites are (my garage smells so good, like a mexican restaurant!):

Soft Corn Tortillas

3 cups thawed frozen corn
1 1/2 cups chopped bell pepper
3/4 cup golden flaxseed, finely ground
1 T. lime juice
1 T. ground chili powder
1 1/2 tsp. sea salt
2 tsp. ground cumin

In a food processor, chop the corn & bell pepper. Add the remaining ingredients and process until almost smooth.

Divide the dough onto two Teflex-lined dehydrator trays and spread to the edges using an offset spatula. Dehydrate at 115 F for 3-4 hours. Flip the Teflex sheets over onto the tray and carefully peel away the Teflex. Place back in the dehydrator for about 2 hours.

When the tortilla is completely dry on both sides but still pliable, remove it from the dehydrator and place on a flat surface. Now cut the tortillas - I ended up making them into squares cuz I was lazy last time. The recipe says it makes 9 4" round circles but that is just too small to hold all the goodies I wanted to put in there!

Last time I made these, I made everything else that comes with the recipe - spicy beans, tomato sauce, avocado-corn guacamole, tomato-lime salsa, and sour cream. It was all rather time consuming and a lengthy process, but VERY yummy. So much so that I ate way too many and after that lost my appetite for them, as can happen when you stuff yourself too full - especially with raw foods.

The best was the tart sour cream.....which I would totally make IF I had the stuff for it (but the cashews have to soak for 12 hours which is annoying when you want something NOW!). Today I went through my entire folder stuffed full of papers I've printed out with raw recipes on them through the years and I have a serious lack of ingredients!! I have NO nuts and NO dates, and this really cripples me on the majority of the recipes, apparently. Especially sunflower seeds - I'm really looking forward to getting those; I ordered 4lbs last night.

So probably tomorrow morning I'll be feasting on these yummy soft tacos....the filling will be the basics...tomatoes, avocados, lettuce, onions, lime juice. Cilantro would be yummy too but I don't have any that's not quite, um, rotten. =) Or maybe tonight if I stay up late enough. Hmmmm.

This is what really helps me to stay raw, is looking for recipes & creating yummy things, looking forward to them...it keeps my mind off of SAD food. Today I made burritos for the kids' lunch which consisted of a flour tortilla, cheddar cheese, and taco meat w/black beans. The tortilla was chewy and warm....I was really tempted to make one for myself w/out the meat and add in all my favorite things Quesadilla style. But I didn't - partly cuz I didn't want to write it on here, lol. See - accountability, it's working!

I also ordered some Macadamia nuts last night...I have 3 Mangos (kind of expensive @ $1.25 ea!) ripening that I am going to use for my favorite Mango/Avocado/Strawberry/Macadamia Nut salad soon. Mmmm I can't wait to get my nuts order! I always get my nuts from bulkfoods.com - they have really good prices and also have a HUGE variety of spices and other things like wheat berries, buckwheat, etc that I need for making breads & Pizza crust.

Speaking of which, I also have buckwheat soaking to make some yummy pizza crust in a few days. They have to sprout before I can use them, but I think they usually sprout within 24 hours or so of starting the soaking process. The crust I'm going to use is:

3 1/2 cups sprouted buckwheat
2 medium fresh tomatoes
1/2 a medium sized onion
6-8 sundried tomato halves, soaked (gotta' remember to do that!)
10 leaves of fresh basil (or I'll just use dried)
liberal shaking of italian seasoning
1 clove garlic
1/3 cup of olive oil



After mixing together in the food processor, it takes about 4-6 hours to complete. I'll probably get more fancy and make up some nut cheese w/cashews & red bell pepper and then some tomato sauce of some sort, then heap on my favorite toppings - basil, mushrooms, pineapple, tomatoes, onions, olives, and bell peppers. Sprouted buckwheat should stay good in the fridge for a few days so I'll have to wait until my nuts arrive & I take a trip to the store for more bell peppers.

Week 8: Day 6 ~ Accountability

I really like what Mama said, about at least shooting for 50% raw during the day, so that way I can get in a little of the SAD food I want, yet still getting in more raw than just the 10% or so I have been doing.

Today I have actually been 100% raw except for about...3/4 cup worth of brownies I had this morning. THAT was emotional eating cuz I felt awful and just wanted something yummy to put in my mouth.

The reason I am titling this post "Accountability" is because I plan to write down what I'm eating each day and see if that helps. I don't want to emotional eat, and I really don't want to feel this sick, AND I don't want to gain alot of weight. I can tell now by the way my clothes fit that I'm gaining faster from eating the way I've been. I'll bet I'm already at the 6lb weight gain mark, but I haven't even checked..I don't need that kind of negativity in my mind, lol. Better to just focus on one day, one meal at a time.

So today so far (it's 6pm) I ate:

**6 oranges, juiced
**3/4 cup of brownies (not raw)
**1/2 pineapple
**2 roma tomatoes sliced w/pepper & salt
**2 big leaves of red leaf lettuce in a wrap with: 2 medium tomatoes, 1 small avocado, 1/2 cucumber, tobasco sauce, sprinkling of dry mustard, salt, & pepper. That was really savory & yummy alternative to just plain old salad.
**Revisited an old "love" I haven't had in ages! Chocolate coconut pudding. Mmmmm it was delicious, filling, and yum-o. Totally hit the spot.

I'm getting revved up to eat just plain old raw again, making as many variations of different raw recipes that I can and/or feel like. I don't plan on eating low fat right right now - but will still stay away from nuts for the most part. They just really don't agree with my stomach unless they're eaten alone as a mono meal. Mostly, sunflower seeds are what I can handle so I plan to get some of those. And also dates! I remember those! I have Ani Phyo's book and she uses mostly dates as her form of sweetener, which I like. My chocolate pudding calls for quite a bit of agave syrup as a sweetener, and I just don't feel like it's all that good for you in that large of a quantity (1/4 cup per small serving).

I'm also excited to get some more thai coconuts and see how adventurous I can be with those. I hope to make lots of puddings & smoothies with the meat, and enjoy the icy cold milk first thing in the morning, followed by OJ a little later. I have found ice cold liquid to be really good on my stomach so I also bought some grapefruit to juice today too.

DH was home this afternoon so I took Jack with me and got some goodies. I loaded up on bananas because their 25 cent "too ripe" bananas (they're sooo perfect, not at all too ripe!) box was full to overflowing! I brought home 3 big bags of bananas that cost me $2.50 each. I'm excited to start making my chocolate banana shakes again using frozen bananas. Mmmmm! I never know when their box is going to be full or empty, it's totally the luck of the draw.

As far as green smoothies go, I am not going to be religious with them. Yes, they are ideal but for right now I have to go with what I'm okay with eating without getting sick. I'm trying to faithfully take my $37 a bottle all natural prenatal vitamins so I feel good about getting those extra nutrients. I'm excited to see how I feel without sugar, dairy, and white flour!

I may have some salmon (since I have 4-5 fillets that need to be eaten asap) and/or cooked veggies if I want........just depends on how I feel. It's much better than brownies, that's for sure!

Okay, I'm off to order some food, namely barhi dates . Can't wait until those arrive; they're my raw candy! =)

Week 8: Day 3

I'm feeling quite sick today. Usually in the morning I have way more energy and can do quite a bit around the house, on the computer, etc - then when it gets to be about 1-2pm it starts a downward spiral for me. But this morning first thing when I got up, I threw up....there wasn't anything TO throw up since it was early morning, but it wasn't a good feeling. It seems like once I cross that threshold of "it has happened, it might happen again" then I am twice more likely to not be able to talk myself out of it when I do feel like throwing up. =( It's either because of the way I'm eating OR this baby is a girl, but either way - I am definitely more sick this time around.

I was talking to my mom yesterday who had 11 children and was very sick with each one of them in the first trimester, and she said it was like that for her too. She said some days it was all she could do to put dinner on the table, and then had to go straight to bed after that. The reason, she said, is because by then (dinner time) you are getting really tired and that makes it worse.

So I wonder if I were to faithfully take a nap every day, if that would help? I don't know. I need to eat more raw food, though - most days it's just about 15% raw or so that I eat, like maybe 12 oranges juiced and that's all. I'm going to try. I bought five boxes of Satsuma oranges yesterday and I should try just having those on hand. Bananas are hard for me to eat because they're prone to causing that gag reflex when ripe......but in smoothies would be good still.

Anyway, I wanted to say that I weighed myself for the first time in a while on Sunday. That was week 8, day 1. I was at 130lbs, which means a 3lb weight gain since the beginning of pregnancy. Not too bad, but if that continues (3lbs every 2 weeks) I'm in trouble. I just need to cut down on the amount of cooked food (junk mostly) is all.

I was remembering a comment I made to my mom when I was pregnant with one of my kids before raw foods. I remember we were going to a church function, a banquet, and I was at the tail end of my being sick. I still felt queasy but good enough to get out of the house - so probably around the 11-12 week mark. I told her, "I've already gained 16lbs!" and we were both appalled at that thought, even though it happened to me every time.

So compare that with my raw pregnancy, where I gained 6lbs by 10 weeks.....about an 8lb difference probably. Okay, so another thought - I am now at 8 weeks, and I've gained 3lbs. So by 10 weeks last time I'd gained 6lbs....which means I'm actually on target. That would have meant gaining another 3lbs in the next 2 weeks just to be the same as my pregnancy with Jack. But the cool thing is this time, I started out at 7lbs less than with Jack. So by week 10 I weighed in at 140lbs, and by week 10 if I gain 3 more pounds, I'll be weighing in at 133lbs. It's not something I plan to obsess about at all, this last paragraph is more informationally interesting for me in a journal sort of sense, just writing as I think out loud. =)

Week 8: Day 1

Awww....I just googled a pregnancy calendar to see how far along I am, and it's so precious to see what all is forming already!! I mean, this early in the game I'm always concentrating on staying alive during the waves of nausea and fighting with/loving food. I give little thought to the actual baby, except for looking at my dear sweet baby boy and loving the fact that I get another one of "him". He's so deliciously adorable I just can't stand it sometimes. That's it. Yep, I was meant to have babies....lol!

Today on the calendar it said: "Baby's fingers and toes are present, although they may still be webbed." How fun!

This time around I *think* I've decided not to find out the sex. Last pregnancy, I went to a normal OBGYN for the first 26 weeks or so, and had my routine ultrasound at 18 weeks, finding out it was a boy. But this time I plan to go to the same place, the waterbirth center, and they don't do routine ultrasounds. I think if I want one, I have to initiate it myself and do it at the hospital, billing my insurance that way. So anyway - I think it would be fun to have it be a surprise, especially after that last push and knowing that soon soon soon I'll meet this little one and find out if Jack has a brother or sister. Plus, it's something else that's fun to tell family/friends when they call.

I'm noticing really weird things about this pregnancy. I haven't been able to stay raw by any means - the most I've been able to do is stay away from meat except for a few occasions (beef stew that was just too absolutely tantalizing in smell, and then a turkey sandwich a few days later). I mostly stay away from sugar except for when I make this pumpkin bread that is the BOMB (and all my children agree; it gets gobbled up so fast!) but that's just because it really is not appetizing to me at all.

But what I've been noticing is that even though I feel really sick, even to the point of standing there barely able to hold it in, I still do not find food to be repulsive. In pregnancies past, SAD ones, I would not be able to walk into the kitchen without practically gagging, and especially not the fridge. But like tonight, I started feeling really sick and what sounded good to be was a hearty vegetable soup! So I went ahead and made it up - cut up everything by scratch which included potatoes, onions, garlic, bell peppers, tomatoes, celery, and a can of beans. I spent about an hour making this big pot of soup and relished every bite! Before, I would have never been able to do that.

This verse has been of help to me, shared by my friend RuthAnne: Proverbs 18:14 "The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?"

DH shared with me a story that RuthAnne shared with him during our recent youth conference, that an elder in our church's wife went through an extremely difficult time after baby #6, and that he didn't even recognize her because of the depression. But he said that her spirit remained strong in the Lord, and it was the same as it had always been despite the outward sufferings. That spoke to me so much! Because you know how it can be easy to start getting into self pity and like man, I have it so much harder than everyone else! But that effects my spirit, when I give in to those thoughts. I would much rather be laying on the couch fighting the urge to throw up with kids piled all around me, yet in rest and having that serenity of spirit that comes from God working with me. Rather than irritated and giving myself an ulcer wishing my sufferings away, lol!

I have also been in that spirit of taking things in the moment, RIGHT NOW, and that is all that matters. Wow, we sure can create quite the thought castles of this and that - how it will be later on today when my husband is gone.....etc. But God knows those needs and He is right there to help me right now - there is grace for the situation I am in right now.

Funny thing - speaking of that. I was kind of dreading the next two days because DH had a business trip to Seattle and it has been such a blessing to have him home in the evening because that is when I'm feeling the worst. Especially getting the kids to bed is the hardest, trying to pray with them and listen to their little thoughts and all the while gritting my teeth and breathing in-out-in-out trying not to throw up (which I haven't yet, super thankful for that!!!!!). So I was in a good spirit outwardly, but inwardly was fighting against this dread of that time....

...and then as I was reading my oldest son (7) a story on the couch all of a sudden I realized DH was standing in the kitchen staring at me in this really weird way (turns out he was thinking hard, and was just staring in my direction, not AT me). LOL. So I was like....what?? And he said hey, can I talk to you for a second...privately? I'm like um...okay....be right back, son.

So in the other room he said - you know how I go to Seattle sometimes and always wish I could take the kids with me, but there is always school so it doesn't work out? What do you think about me taking the four older ones with me, since there is no school this week?

I was so shocked! Usually I am the one to suggest things like that, but I didn't even think of that - and the fact that he wanted to take all FOUR of them with him? I mean they're ages 9,7,6,4 - that's like prime "teasing" age, lol.

So anyway, long story short - I have been immensely enjoying my two babies this evening and have two more nights by "myself"!!! What a treat and also what a special blessing/break from God, who knows what I need. =)

My cup runneth over.....

Today has been such a good day! Things have been going so well, and it isn't the Unisom because I forgot to take it last night - oops! I was dreading a sick day today, but wah-lah, wasn't very sick at all! (Except for my hacking cough & runny nose/conjested feeling which are hanging on forever!!)

It was a really weird day, actually. I woke up at 7:40 and got all the kids dressed/fed/changed/lunch made & out the door early, by 8:35. And all this without eating anything! Except for the prenatal vitamins & water, anyway. But that's kind of strange, because usually I wake up feeling nauseous and it gets progressively worse until I eat something.

So when we came back, I was able to pick up/tidy the house including the kitchen so everything was clean and then sat down with this week's grocery ads and a huge bowl of seedless red grapes. Which, my 2 year old helped me eat them quite fast....we bought two whole bunches yesterday and they're already both gone! They were really good, cold and crispy and juicy/sweet at Albertson's earlier this week. I should've bought more at $.99 a lb! Oh well.

This week's Safeway ad promises 5lb boxes of Satsuma mandarin oranges for $3.99! I'm quite excited about that because they're the perfect snack to eat whenever, especially while watching a movie. And ice cold - yum. There wasn't any limit listed so I plan on buying probably 3-4 boxes. We can go through an entire box in one sitting with all the family gathered around at the table chowing down so.....I might end up making two trips this week.

I'm enjoying my children so much! Especially my 2 year old who can be a serious pain, but is so darn cute with her little lips, plump cheeks, curly hair and mischevious brownish-green eyes framed in long lashes. Such a pretty little girl, total eye candy. =) She recently learned the word "tupid" (stupid) and informed me the other day when I asked her if she wanted to help me wash the floor that it was a "tupid job!". Good grief! She was in a bad mood, though - usually she loves helping me.

I'm really thankful for the lack of nausea - but to make it clear, there definitely IS nausea and also that feeling of "yuck" that is going on all the time except for about 20 minutes after I fill up my stomach. All food also tastes weird like it does when you have a cold. But I am also a bit worried to a small degree because I know that lack of nausea can equal something wrong with the pregnancy. So I am trying to be open to that possibility, knowing that if God were to take this little one home, it would be the most perfect for him/her.

I have been reading the most awesome book. "Stepping Heavenward ~ one woman's journey to Godliness" by Mrs. E. Prentiss. It was recommend by a Godfearing mom named Jennifer over at homekeepingheart , who just had her 5th baby - her oldest is 6 years. This book is the journal of a woman who starts writing when she is 16. She's a totally normal 16 year old, but it is set in the 1830's or so. A really easy read and interesting - but the things she writes about make me think long & hard about my own walk with God. One thing she wrote about accepting the children that God brings her really stood out. In the end of her life which actually is full of illness because of her frail body, she has seven children...one of which dies, the oldest, at age 4. It is amazing to see her strength and yet the battles she went through and the struggles in her spirit to come to the faith that she came to.

She writes:

"I celebrated my little Una's third birthday by presenting her with a new brother. Both the children welcomed him with delight that was of itself compensation enough for all it cost me to get up such a celebration. Martha (her sister in law who lives with her) takes a most prosaic view of this proceeding, in which she says I shall now have one mouth the more to fill and two feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing.

Well!! This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other. Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom , while I minister in Christ's name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, wondrously blest!"

That just gives me goosebumps - what a thing to write in your most private journal! Because that is where you express your deepest, most true self.....and to have it like she had it is really my heart's desire. To look at raising my children in such a way that I say they are WELCOME to my free time, to my sleep, to whatever it is that I give as a sacrifice to raise souls for Him. Really special, and that is why I'm having a good day. =)

I also wanted to note that this pregnancy I am trying hard to take my prenatal vitamins religiously. I did alot of research and found what I believe to be the best of the best, especially for a person who wishes to be raw vegan. They're quite the horse pills and it requires taking 6 of them per day, but I feel like I am giving my baby the nourishment it needs for sure by taking these. And hmmm I wonder if that's why I've been feeling better? I doubt it, but you never know. =)

I haven't been doing very good with raw foods lately. I definitely don't care as much about my weight right now as I did last time, but who knows....when you feel nauseous you don't really care. Mostly it's that when I do eat raw, I don't feel good at all - so there is no reward for eating the right way like before. Although I do dearly love my OJ........it's just that the oranges I got recently have really hard rinds and are hard to juice. =( So it's not as easy as before...I can't wait for the better oranges to start arriving in the stores and especially for the really low prices of 35c lb I've seen them get to before. Right now they're 88c a lb which makes a BIG difference when you're buying a big box! I'm trying TRYING to eat healthy cooked, but it isn't so easy. But I'm taking it one day at a time so....hopefully I'll be out of the woods soon.

Unisom totally worked!!

Last night I took 1/2 of a tiny unisom sleeping pill before bed and had no morning sickness all night and all day until just a twinge of it around 1pm or so. It felt very strange to wake up at different times (4 year old had a bad dream, baby woke up twice for a bottle) and feel genuine hunger in my stomach, but not any morning sickness. I don't know if it was just coincidence or not? I'm enjoying it, regardless. =)

My kids are doing so well, this morning my oldest actually babysat while I had some quiet time & naptime in my room for 5 hours! Not uninterrupted, of course, but what a treat...she even made breakfast & lunch for them all. And helped clean up alot of the house - I paid her $2 an hour + $1 to make lunch. =) She doesn't change diapers yet (she's 9) which is probably a good thing, because both of the little ones had extremely poopy diapers. Good thing I have a cold and can't smell anything, lol.

Another thing is I'm finding through trial & error that my body does not seem to be responding to raw food very well. I feel the worst when I have been living on green smoothies & fruit all day...but when I have some rice, or steamed veggies, or even some homemade pizza loaded with fresh veggies - I feel alot better! This is a different scenario for me. Usually if and when I eat cooked, it is total junk - or whatever I'm craving. Alot of times that means sugar. Lately I have not been interested in sugar in the LEAST. Thankfully. Everything actually tastes kind of different to me - but it could also be because I have this awful cold.

I have also been having alot of raw halzelnuts from a local farm - they're not soaked, but they make me feel better for a while. Then, not so good after a while. Probably should be soaking them but it's almost impossible when you're cracking each one to eat it, and most of the time they crumble into bits after being cracked anyway.

Morning Sickness

I'm experiencing morning sickness more severe than my previous raw pregnancy with Jack. This time it is quite constant, and only lets up for maybe 30 minutes after I eat if that, depending on what I ate. It's been rough adjusting to the fact that it looks like I'm going to go through the dreaded hard-core morning sickness again when I pretty much did expect it to be not so hard- and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense, really. It truly does feel like this never ending pain that is really hard to get through - always constant, always there...probably what hell will be like, in a way. But I am also thankful for this time because it brings me closer to God in my need - I can't do this on my own, without His strength and the faith He's given me to accept this child as a blessing straight from heaven. Who would deny that blessings are, well, blessings? =)

So far I've managed to stay about 90-100% raw, depending on the day of course. In my head I limit myself to only the options of the raw food I have on hand - but it's not really that hard. Because honestly, I don't feel like eating anything at all, so there are no cravings right now, anyway. I've been able to drink green smoothies every day which has been really nice, to know I'm getting those rich nutrients. This morning I had some pineapple ice cold from the fridge, and am now sipping on a strawberry banana smoothie, also icy cold. That seems to be what I like right now - everything has to be icy cold, even my water, or it just kind of turns my stomach.
Yesterday I had a really rough day, I had many moments of just sitting there so exhausted and feeling so sick, yet knowing that I only had a moment to rest before I had to go get other things done. I realized that this is when I need to ask for help, also knowing that it could possibly get even worse. I haven't thrown up yet but I've definitely been close.

So I called my husband & we talked it over, and we're hiring a good friend of ours from church, Elmina, actually the same one who came and "nanny"-ed for us when baby #4 & #5 were born. She is going to come help out for 4-5 hours once a week...just enough to help keep up on the laundry, baths, vacuuming, grocery shopping. Whatever I need at the time. DH has been a HUGE help so far - even more than any other pregnancy, it's been such a blessing! Such a relief to have his help and not feel like I'm being a burden on him after a long hard day at work. Elmina's schedule is pretty open right now so she said if we need her more, she'll be glad to do it.
Laying in bed this morning I remembered Unisom & the motion sickness wrist band (can't remember the name)! I had forgotten about them because I didn't use them with Jack at all, but I desperately relied on them for Marie, my last SAD pregnancy. I think I'm going to try the Unisom again...I'm hesitant to use drugs because I'm eating raw and that really goes against the whole cleansing the body raw mentality, but at this point if anything can help so I can take care of my family, I'll try it. As long as it's not harmful to the baby, of course. It did work for me before.

The motion sickness wristband also worked, but only for about 3 weeks and then it seemed like my body got immune to it or something. But it was wonderful for those 3 weeks. I had been flat on my back throwing up for weeks & weeks, and was quite pale and very weak when I put it on. I remember within 1/2 an hour I was up & making dinner for my family, even entertaining a guest - and my husband was so amazed. He kept telling our guest over & over that this is really rare for me to be feeling so well in the first trimester.

And so I'm back....Week 6

It's been a while! So I'm back, and just found out last week that I am pregnant with baby #7. This news was received with excitement and joy on my part - same with DH, but more shock on his part. I think it always shocks him, lol! But once we settle in to the fact that we're having another baby for real, this is REAL, and not just a mistaken 2-line reading on a pregnancy test - it becomes a happy fact in our lives.

So the first thing I thought about, and actually something that is on my mind often when I have thought about getting pregnant again, is the fact (and comfort!) that when I was pregnant with both Jack and the previous miscarriage, I was not near as sick w/morning sickness while eating raw foods. I was so delighted and happy with this fact, because it made the thought of being pregnant less a dreaded thing for me.

I also can't say enough how awesome it is to have completed a raw pregnancy and natural birth with Jack. It's like all the worries, fears, wondering .... they have been put to rest as he was born a healthy 8lb 5oz, fully happy and continues to be. There are some things I'm going to change for this pregnancy, though. This time I plan to take my multi vitamins as regularly as I can remember to take them. They're these HUGE horse pill looking things and I have to take 8 of them per day, but I feel more comfortable taking them, especially since they're of the more expensive type and all natural, as raw as a person can get.

So I was hoping very much that being raw would make a difference in my morning sickness. I found out I was pregnant about 1 week ago, and am due on July 5th so that makes me about 6 weeks. The nausea started pretty much about 2 days after I found out, which is normal. It has steadily gotten worse every single day, and yesterday was the worst.

I haven't read back in my blog to see how the morning sickness was specifically with Jack yet, it'll be fun to compare this & other things as I progress in this pregnancy. But at least for now, I don't feel it is at it's absolute worst. For me, the worst in previously pregnancies has been when I am flat on my back on the couch VERY nauseous with a bowl nearby, throwing up quite often - and the thought of food, ANY food makes me so completely ill. I force myself to eat small bits of something even though the thought of that particular food makes me gag, and it does help - but only for a little while because it's not very much food. It is all I can do to take care of the children's basic needs from the couch, only getting up to feed them, change diapers, and put them to bed. My house and everything else I have NO care for - I can't even handle walking into the kitchen. It has often been like this for 2 1/2 months solid.

So as I'm typing this, I am so thankful it hasn't been like that this time! At least, not yet. =) One thing I have to remember is that each pregnancy IS different, and especially if this is a girl, it could be that I get really sick with this one as opposed to my last raw pregnancy, which was a boy. But looking back, I always got sick for each one and I have 3 boys/3 girls so......that theory doesn't really apply (being sicker with a certain sex).

So far I have felt nauseous but as soon as I eat at least one whole banana, usually two, I feel about 90% better. Like this morning I woke up feeling SO sick - I couldn't even sleep I felt so sick. So I got up earlier than my alarm clock was set for (6:50) and made some fresh squeezed OJ. That didn't settle so well with my stomach, so I made a huge giant green smoothie with the rest of the OJ, which included about 6 oranges squeezed, a whole head of red leafy greens, 2 cups of water, 1 pear, 5 bananas, and 2 apples. One 32oz. bottle I always give to DH for his breakfast on the way to work (this motivates me to get up & make it, because otherwise he usually doesn't have time to make breakfast and will buy it on the way which = money spent) and the rest I put in the fridge to save for later.

It's really really soothing for me, at least right now, to have that premade green smoothie, ice cold, waiting in the fridge when I first feel the twinges of nausea coming back. As soon as I drink about 25oz or so of that, the world turns right side up and I have about an hour or so of almost feeling completely normal to do what I need to do. Right now I need to get the kids ready for school & make their lunches so I better scoot.....I'll write more later. I also have some pictures I wanted to put up, and then write about my weight adventures since Jack was born. I love having a previous raw pregnancy to compare to!

Okay, back again! LOL I have this four year old little girl who LOVES her Mommy. She's always giving me kisses and says "I love you, Mom!" about 30 times per day, randomly, and then waits with anticipation for me to respond with an "I love you too, Grace!" She's also always chattering away about this or that, usually when I'm trying to concentrate on one thing or another (book, movie, computer) like right now when I'm trying to put my thoughts down on paper. So anyway, if this post appears to be a bit scattered, that's why. =)

So I also wanted to write that this time I am definitely not going to stress so much about losing the weight after the baby. It took a VERY long time to get down to where I wanted to be, 120lbs, and I was often so frustrated. This time I'm going to stop & take time to smell the roses and just do the best I can - but not worry about it. I obviously know how and can get down to the weight I want to, eventually, so it'll happen again.

But I do plan to watch my weight both during the pregnancy and afterwards. Some of you might think I'm like this disciplined person.......yeah, you should've seen me the past 3 weeks before I found out I was pregnant, lol! It was like brownies were my staple food or something. LOL!

Jack was 9 months old when I quit nursing - a record for me. But the funny thing is, as soon as I put him exclusively on formula, he got quite chunky! Go figure. I still have bottles & bottles of fenugreek and a whole big bag full of mother's milk tea dried herbs...I wonder if it'll keep through next summer? I don't see why it wouldn't. As soon as I finished nursing, once he was fully weaned, I went on a 10 day master cleanse. It was really hard for me to do - for some reason, I barely made it through the 10th day and then had some potato chips that night. What in the world? I don't even LIKE potato chips, lol! I think it was too close to weaning, because I remember it happened to me before, right after I weaned my 2 year old - I was really weak and it just felt "off" for some reason. Like my body still was in the nursing mode, ready to nurse again if my baby needed it - so was still needing those extra calories or something. Next time I need to remember to wait at least a month after I completely wean...it's hard to wait because it makes me release the extra weight so easily, but anyway. We'll see.

So on this first master cleanse after the baby was born, 9 months post partum, I lost about 7lbs. I held pretty steadily at 126-127 then, for 2 whole months after that, until October. I ate mostly raw and even did a couple of challenges with some friends....but after that it was hard for me to eat 100% raw - there was always one bite or one meal of this or that SAD food I couldn't resists, even junk food. So that was frustrating, and I decided that since it was getting close to the time when I usually get pregnant again, I would do another master cleanse in October. So I started on October 2nd, 2 months after my last master cleanse (which is about the minimum you're supposed to wait between them).

This time it was pure heaven! THIS is how I remembered it, I thought. I loved it!! My goal was 120lbs, and I decided to do it for 30 days. I went & bought $100 worth of maple syrup (DUMB IDEA), enough to last me the 30 days. I say dumb idea because duh, if I was so close to my goal then didn't it occur to me that 30 days might result in too much weight loss? Um...evidently not, lol.

So on the 9th day I weighed in at 120lbs. I was so excited! I hadn't weighed that since before I was married, and I could totally fit into my wedding dress except my waist was a tiny bit snug and my boobs....well, they are quite a bit smaller now. Lots of shrinkage happening because of my babies, lol=) Goes to show your body really does shift & change in shape once you have little ones!

So I knew that usually when you go back to eating raw food after a cleanse, you gain about 2-3lbs. So my goal then was to get to 117lbs and then I would go off of it, even if I didn't use up my syrup. But then I was like gosh, I spent so much on that syrup! I still had about $30 of it left. And I felt SO good - I had tons of energy and was rarely in a bad mood. I slept good, and my only problem at that point was no clothes! I fit into a size 0 or 2, depending on what brand. My stomach was pretty much flat - when I looked in the mirror, there was no bump whatsoever, just a straight flat line all the way down. Then, a tiny blip of fat left over from having babies right below my belly button. When I sucked in my stomach, I almost looked too skinny.

Then we had a family emergency, and I went to stay with my mom for 4 nights w/the kiddos. I was thankful I was on the cleanse because it made my food situation really easy, I just made up the lemonades at night and was good to go for the rest of the day. I had lots of energy to do what I needed to do, but there was no scale in the bathroom I used so...I didn't pay attention.

On the night of the 13th day, my Dad came and talked to me. He said one thing he really missed about his parents being gone (they both died within a month of each other this summer, one very unexpectedly) was that when they saw something that seemed out of place, they came to him and talked to him about it. Not in a prying/bossy sort of way, but out of love and genuine concern and wanting things to go well with him. They were precious and we miss them so much.

He said I am like my mom - I get fixated on things and go all out, and sometimes even overboard on things that interest me. He said I've been looking really good in the past couple of months, but right now (day 13 of the cleanse) I looked like I was on meth (drugs) or something. My face was too gaunt, you could see my cheekbones, and my bones were becoming prominent. Now to me, my face looked fine, but I could tell in my pants, that my butt was getting quite lost, lol, and my shape was starting to go away. As in, shapely woman looking shape. When you get to a size 0 it's like all there is left are little girls sizes and well....I definitely don't want to have a little girl's body! Also, my sister in law who hadn't seen me in a couple of months, went home after spending some time with me & called my mom. She wanted to know what was going on with me - was I on drugs? What was wrong? I looked awful, she said.

I didn't feel like I was out of control at all, and actually I still don't - but I think the fact that I'd been really busy with the family emergency & also without a scale....sort of made me lose track. I stepped on the scale that day when I got home, fully clothed, and I was at 111! That was weird. I sort of had this moment where I kind of panicked - I didn't mean to get that low AT ALL but it did look like it, looking in the mirror.

So I was really open to what he told me, and decided that next night would be my last day. So on the 15th day I started with OJ and gradually eased into eating normal food again. I was back up to 118 within a day or two, and stayed at about 120-122 for a while. Then I talked myself into eating junk food cuz I told myself I could afford to gain a little - and went on a 3-week free for all. I didn't know at the time that I was pregnant during this lovely eating spree....mostly I just ate alot of sugar and junk food - no meat for the most part.

I decided that my ideal weight is 125 - I look the best at that weight. I also haven't worked out or gone running in over a month, so obviously if I were to lift weights and gain muscle, that number might even be a little bit higher. It feels really weird to have actually attained my goal, though - to reached what I've been striving for, for over 2 years. I'm really happy to have been too skinny and realized it, instead of always thinking I need to keep losing, losing, losing even when I'm like 105 pounds and such. That to me proves that this is not something I'm "addicted" to or whatever - I love being thin, but normal thin. I am always amazed at how much energy I have even when I haven't been working out. I feel rather bouncy sometimes, like I can just bounce/jump/run instead of normally walking to my next destination.

So I started out this pregnancy at 127lbs, which is 7lbs less than my previous pregnancy. I still plan to track my pregnancy weight because it's fascinating to me to watch the scale move so slowly over the course of the months. But also it's a good check for me, because as you can see by the 3 week binge, I can definitely get out of control if I don't watch it. Obviously I would love to have a 25lb weight gain again with this pregnancy, so we'll see.

I guess that sums it up for now - I'm going to work on some pictures of Jack and a few showing me at my skinniest (but not the very skinny master cleanse - I don't have any pictures of that). Until next time.......!

I'm doing well...

...but not with my challenge of self discipline, I'm afraid. I've been really struggling against being lazy but NOT DOING GOOD ENOUGH!! It's like I'm super mellow.....not as animatedly working & excited about cleaning house. I think it partly has to do with the fact that Jack has been routinely waking me up every 3 hours all night long. It's been steadily wearing me down, to the point where I really have to take a nap in the morning to be sane the rest of the day. I hate taking naps though, it really chops up my day and I don't like it that I have to rely on that.

But also, someone told me once, that cleaning our home can be a huge drag, a huge chore......but if I do it out of love then it becomes a delight! Well okay, maybe not a delight delight, but it does a body good to see it as blessing my family instead of, ugh, picking up the kitchen floor AGAIN for the 5th time that day.

As far as eating raw goes, D-Day is almost here!! I had previously said that my goal was to be 120lbs by June 1st. That has been MUCH more of a struggle than I thought it would be - but I'm not giving up by any means. I still have a muffin top around my belt, especially in back, but it is definitely smaller. AND!! My stomach used to protrude in a weird way at the top half of my stomach, and then was actually a little bit smaller where my abs are. I couldn't figure it out, and it was annoying because it made me look like I was 4 months pregnant all the time. I don't know why or how, but it is flat now. It's not FLAT flat, but it at least goes down straight (although flabby straight, if that makes sense!) instead of this bump at the top.

Another thing that is shocking to me is that my fingernails are starting to grow really nicely and it actually almost looks like I've gotten a manicure all the time! I'm so thrilled with this because for about 2 months solid, both of my thumbnails had this split straight down the middle and into the pink part. It would tear even deeper if it caught on something, so I got used to cutting them very, very short so no jagged edge would get caught. It was annoying but not anything to complain about, just something I wondered about. My nails would also be thin and tend to tear and even break off.

I have no idea why this is happening, but they look really nice and the splits totally healed up and it's great! I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I've been doing differently and there really isn't anything - the only thing is that I haven't been 100% for more than 2 consecutive days for a really long time. But it's not like I'm getting healthy vitamins from the cooked food, at least I don't think - because it's almost 95% junk when I do eat cooked food. In fact, on Friday I was in a "screw it" sort of mood and actually bought TWO bags of 9.5oz. Dove chocolate. And promptly ate both bags within about 20 hours. And - yeah, paid for it SEVERELY by a lack of sleep that night AND Jack not sleeping as well. Duh - what I eat, he gets. DUMB MOMMY!!!

Today I went to our local farmer's market when DH got home, with 10 minutes to spare until they closed. They had a sign up saying half off all their home-made donuts since they made too many today. So I bought a dozen small round donuts (what was I thinking? 6 would've been plenty for our family lol!) and since my oldest DD is gone at my mom's overnight, everyone had two 'cept DD2 and that left three staring at me.

DH took the DS's 5 & 7 to the river so it's just me & DD2 hanging out - DD4 is outside playing with friends and the baby is sleeping. DD2 cried super hard when DH left "without" her - so I gave her one more donut. It was really tempting to just eat & enjoy those last two donuts....but two things made me lose my appetite for them (they're still sitting there by the way - I should just throw them away, lol!).

First, is that there is only 3 more weeks until our church summer camp (think LOTS of pool time in a 2pc....!). And no matter how I look at it, I am not going to lose this tummy flab if I eat those donuts! And the other thing was, that I was recently researching different weight lifting exercises since it's time to revamp my routine & shake things up a bit so my body doesn't get used to the same exercises over & over. The person explaining it was talking about triceps and said this is how you do it, etc etc. Then at the end they said, "The only way to get defined/toned arms is to lower your body fat percentage."

I already knew that, obviously, but it was really clear to me: I can work my butt off (literally lol!) but it's not really going to make any difference if I have this layer of flab over the muscles that I'm trying to tone. I've also heard it said sooo many times, that "Abs are made in the kitchen".

So anyway, today has been another 100% raw day, that makes 2 for me (so far anyway). I hope to go running later tonight but it all depends on how late DH is with the boys. He said he wouldn't be really long, but .... boys (including big boys!) and rivers seem to make time stand still. =)

I've been more into greens lately and I'm hoping hoping hoping that trend sticks!! I made wheatgrass and have two huge trays full of it sitting out on my porch, getting rich and green in the sun. But I just have no stomach for it - I can't make myself drag out the equipment to squeeze the juice, it is so unappetizing for me right now! I don't know why.

But thankfully, green smoothies have been on the menu for me and they sound delicious so that's why I went to the farmer's market - I got 8 bunches of greens and plan to stuff myself with them. My hope is to have two whole bunches per day, which is probably a little over 1lb of greens. As I was buying them and shelled out $13 , I was thinking - not much to pay for the fountain of youth! When I drink those very green smoothies with 1 bunch of greens, juice of 5 oranges and 5-6 bananas + some water, I feel like I'm drinking life. I picture clear, dewy skin as it get regenerated.

Self Discipline

So my friend MAMA has posted a 30-day challenge for self discipline. You know how much I like challenges and thrive on them. =) Lately I've been really struggling with the issue of making my home a blessing for my family and really being disciplined to get off my duff and WORK HARD. It does take alot of work to run a family of 8 smoothly!! And I've been slacking off VERY much here.

I have my interests as always - working out, clipping coupons, surfing the net, and shopping at garage sales. Lately it seems like these things have been taking up more & more time - except for working out, that takes exactly the same amount every day, thank goodness. So I have this kind of guilty feeling in the back of my head all the time and it's so annoying, yet all I want to do is just ignore things that need to be done and do something else. Anything else.

So, MAMA, out of sheer necessity and the desire to bless my family I am going to do this too! I'm actually really excited to see how things go - I LOVE the feeling of seeing results and being able to see the fruits of my labors. I actually do like cleaning, too, it's just looking at the mountain of dishes, laundry, or whatever it is and contemplating actually doing it, that is hard. LOL!

Here is my list of things to do each day:

1) exercise
2) no more naps in the morning (for me, this is laziness - my baby is almost 6 months old and I can't use the newborn excuse anymore!)
3) Read God's Word or literature
4) Take time to pray
5) Do my housekeeping routine
6) Work on one section of my newsletter every day
7) Work on memorizing encouraging songs from church
8) Computer time until 10am, then get to work!!
9) Lights out by 10:30pm!
10) After school gets out, get up by 9am.

On a different note, it is now DAY 7 and I have not cheated once on my 5-week 100% raw challenge!! I am super excited about that. It's funny, though ~ I SWEAR my body changes every day, it is so weird! Like one day I'll see a difference in the mirror, and the next day NOTHING, in fact, maybe even worse? I'll be like OMG does my rear view really look like that??? I thought it looked different. Didn't it look different yesterday? What is UP with that? So I wonder if it's like psychological or something? Or maybe just the clothes we wear that are different.

I think my tummy is a little flatter, and I measured myself a couple of days ago and am happy to report that I am down 3.5" from the last time I measured. Which was 2 months ago, but still. =) I remember on the last 30 day challenge I did, which I made it to day 18, I could definitely see changes in the fat on my back, aka the muffin top.

Weighing day in 2 more days; I can't wait!!!

One Month Goes By...

Oh my gosh, has it really been an entire month since I posted on here??? I think that is a record for me!! I suppose, though, not really that much has been happening so that's probably why...no big breakthroughs or anything. =)

Basically my diet the past month has been like this. Eat 100% raw for about .... 36 hours, then go ahead and eat cooked food with abandon and then vow not to do it again, and then .... do it again. LOL! But the good thing is, that little routine gave my body enough time to digest the cooked stuff before I introduced more. So as a result, I've stayed pretty steadily at my current weight of 134-135.

I've re-discovered CHOCOLATE which has been both fun and annoying, lol! Now one of my absolute favorite things to do is buy a package of Dove chocolates and eat, like, half the bag while I'm surfing the net & reading blogs or whatever. I know, awful! So that is definitely *not* on my list of things that are OK on a regular basis - but I do enjoy it. So maybe once in a while, who knows.

So here's where I am right now. My friend Jen & I have decided to do another challenge. This is soooooo exciting for me because for some reason, I can't seem to get the "umph" to really buckle down and just STAY low fat raw, unless I have some kind of accountability.

What we're doing right now is a no cheating whatsoever challenge for 5 weeks (she's doing Weight Watchers and I'm doing low fat raw again). We are currently on our 3rd day, and I've been doing extremely well!! I'm so thrilled that it hasn't been really really hard....but I know that is probably coming. We have also promised to work out 3-5 days a week minimum, and not weigh ourselves at ALL except for Friday mornings! I weighed in right at 134 on Friday, and I don't even have a number in my head that I want to weigh next Friday...mostly right now I'm excited to see my clothes get bigger. But being in the 120's again would be quite the experience...I haven't weighed 120 anything since before I had children almost 9 years ago.

I have never regularly lifted weights AND done my HIIT cardio 3x a week combined with eating low fat raw. I am so excited to see how this goes - I've read about others' good results with this particular combo and I am just so intrigued to see how it goes. My arms and legs are starting to show *some* definition, which just serves to give me more motivation to keep going. I really want to get rid of the cellulite on the back of my legs especially and I'm hoping this will do the trick. I know I've gotten a good muscle base in the past couple of months, it's now just a matter of continuing to build that and also getting rid of the layer of fat that is hiding it all!

I'm fascinated by the fact that God made me the way I am, yet through years of abusing my body by stuffing myself with foods that are detrimental to my health, my body has morphed into something that I don't believe it was intended to be - both inside & out. It's one thing to just lose the weight and be thin - but it's another to actually be strong and sculpted as well - and by sculpted I don't mean like a six-pack and major biceps...I mean that by building muscle it actually RESHAPES the body into a totally different look. It is so cool.

I think muscle building is kind of like my hobby, sort of. Some people are into shopping, others movies, some cooking, knitting, - I guess I'm into body transformations, LOL. It's just so fascinating to work hard for 35 minutes a day, about, and watch this magical sort of transformation take place. Our bodies are truly awesomely and wonderfully made! And the best part is - anyone can do it, if they choose to. It's not like it's only something that is possible for those who naturally have the muscle already. Yes, it takes a drive and certainly effort - but the rewards, I'm starting to see, are really fun. DH thinks so too. =)

My milk supply is still ample with no help from outside sources, even Fenugreek/Mother's Milk Tea that I was taking a while back. Jack nurses every 3-5 hours, usually, and there is lots of letdown and gulping, gulping, gulping along with those adorable little satisfied and "totally loving it" noises. He's so cute with his huge blue eyes that look at us with so much love. He is now 5 1/2 months, and we are nearing the point where I had to give up nursing with every single one of my other children. I've always had to quit by 6 months because by that time I'd been supplementing with formula for a good 1-2 months, and my milk slowly but surely just...disappeared. I'm so excited that I can say I have never, ever given him one drop of anything else but breastmilk - and mostly from a raw & living foods diet on my part.

Right now my diet is very simple, and I LOVE it that way. I love that I can eat simply, but if I want to, I can also make guacamole or something a little more "gourmet" to satisfy a craving if I want. The past few days I've been eating mono meals of OJ, TONS of watermelon (cleaning out my bowels!), lots of bananas, some coconut water (interestingly enough, the "meat" actually tastes very fatty to me now esp. if it's more solid than jelly), carrots, 1/2 bunch of greens (although I really don't want to eat them, I make myself), mangos, pineapple, and carrots. I'm also growing wheatgrass again that should be ready to harvest in 3-4 days.

Oh yes! I also had CHERRIES the other day that were absolutely fabulous!!! I am so excited that it is summer; I did so well last summer. It's just way easier to stay raw, and I think where I live has alot to do with it too - I don't live in a tropical place by any means, but being just one state away from California does have it's perks. Plus, here in OR we have alot of yummy local fruit too that thrives in our climate.

Changing course....

So I've been doing alot of thinking, and have decided to change some things with the way I'm eating. I've been doing low fat raw for a while now in between the eating cooked food sometimes - and that seems to be optimal for my body. I lose weight easier and I feel better with more energy and happier, not so heavy and sleepy.

But I still feel like something is missing, and thinking back, it seems like I felt really good during the summer of last year. I was pregnant and I know for some people that makes them feel better, but it usually doesn't for me - I usually feel worse. So that tells me that if I were to eat just like I ate last summer but NOT being pregnant, I could possibly feel exceptionally good. Also because I was not working out at all - except for walking 3 miles 3x a week, for about 3 weeks in my 4th month. Now I'm doing strength training 4x and cardio 3x a week which I think is going to be HUGE in the difference it makes if I combine it with what I was doing last summer.

Okay, so WOW. I have to say I am super inspired by reading my blog from last summer (I just stopped writing and went back to read it). So I WAS going to write on here that I am going to start another 30-day challenge tomorrow, but instead, I am going to work hard to beat my previous goal of 18 days at 100% low fat raw. Plus, I am going to implement these things every day:

wheatgrass shot, first thing in the morning
milk from one coconut each day
1 glass of vegetable juice right after the wheatgrass (fresh from the juicer)
1 bunch of greens each day, whether from smoothies or salad
1 cup of sprouts 3-4 times a week (alfalfa & sunflower seeds are my favorite, but I want to also try lentils)

I also want to try and incorporate seaweed every day for the minerals & calcium. I have to do a little more research to see how I can do that - and where to buy the raw stuff and how to eat it without upchucking, LOL! I bought some dulse in the package once, and it was almost inedible...super super salty...bleh. People have it in their salads and also in their smoothies...so we'll see. I need to do a search on the raw forum to see how other people eat it and in what quantities. I do have Nori rolls which are still in the package so I will probably try that today with some crunchy greens and tomatoes.

I'm going to read more of my old blog to get inspired - I remember how awesome I felt, and I want to feel that again! It only comes with eating exclusively raw and I have to remember that. I'll be posting more on here for accountability's sake.....so you're going to get sick of hearing from me. =)

So what did I do?

I went running and it felt WONDERFUL - I was really glad I did (see previous post if you're wondering what I'm talking about!). But .... I was also pretty irritable for the rest of the day, because I was so tired. So this is when it might perhaps have been wisdom to grab the sleep while I could, so as to make it better for my family.

Today was interesting because I got up early and did what some moms do every morning, but I never do, made breakfast (french toast & fresh OJ) for the entire family including DH. Jack woke me up at 6am and never really went back to sleep, and I felt such a pull to be like the Proverbs woman:

15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens.

I even made Starbucks coffee for DH, thinking to make it good for him - the house smelled so wonderful, and was so nice & clean from my big clean yesterday (our church was cancelled). The music was playing softly and I was in such good spirits.

Anyway, DH told me he really appreciated my making it all, but he couldn't have coffee that particular morning because he was getting his physical done! Of all days, LOL. He ALWAYS has coffee and buys it every morning, so I really wanted to bless him & surprise him, while also helping him save a bit on his coffee budget. Then, he also didn't eat any of the breakfast because he was in a rush.

I was a little bummed & was tempted actually to cry for a teensy bit (I really wanted to make it good for him!), but that's OK, I thought - I have been working on making it good for my family with NO demands of praise from them or even thankfulness (although we're working on that with our children), but to do my work wholeheartedly before God's face with a pure heart. I've also been weaning myself of needing a nap because I HATE becoming dependent on them, which I totally was. I'd get in a panic if I couldn't get the kids to be quiet so I could have my nap.

Thankfully that part is going really well - I've just told myself that I have to work HARD if I want my home to be a peaceful sanctuary from the chaos of DH's work day and the children's day at school. So I worked really hard today, it seems like I never really sat down except to eat and check my email real quick. Looking back, it's like...gosh, what did I even get done? I gave two of the kids baths, and made dinner...and kept the kitchen & house clean. But wow, nothing really got done in the grand scheme of things. I did get my workout done, and a shower. LOL.

I made rosemary italian yeast bread, garlic sticks, and chili from scratch for dinner early in the morning so I wouldn't have the pre-dinner stress that always seems to happen (baby crying, kids begging to eat something at 5:30pm and complaining that they HATE whatever it is that I'm making, DH calling to say he'll be late, trying to get the kids to clean up the house before DH comes with much groaning & ......... you get the picture! Not having to make dinner during that time really makes it easier!).

I've been surfing some blogs lately that have been so inspiring and so wonderful - they have really changed my mindset on how it is to be a mother/wife and how important it is for me to keep my home, and to work hard during the day. So this has been on my heart alot lately, and my diet has been put on the back burner a bit, so I haven't been doing as well. It's hard, I go back & forth because on one hand, it's really important that I feel good & eat well - but on the other hand, it seems to make me so focused on myself! I see how it affects me so negatively when I get down on myself for having eaten something not good for me. I'm trying to find the middle ground here and am not sure where it is exactly - I also don't want my entire thoughts to be consumed with trying to be fit by summer. For what? So I can look good for other people? To me, that is just so not what I am supposed to be doing right now. I'm supposed to be working on making things good for my family, for my husband, and really spending time blessing them and looking within myself to find how I can change. To be healthy is good, yes, and that is what I'm trying to focus on.

I'm thankful that I've been able to be very consistent in my workouts - this is going on the 4th week I've been consistently weight-lifting 35 min. 4x a week and interval training by jogging/sprinting/powerwalking 40 min. 3x a week. I do my weight lifting during naptime usually, and then fit in the cardio whenever DH is home to let me go.

Jack is crying now, and this weary momma is going to hopefully be in bed by 10pm tonight. A new day is starting tomorrow.....I really wish I could do 30 days 100% raw again.....it seems to be almost impossible for me right now though. But I keep trying and hopefully one of these days my blog will be really quiet and then I'll announce out of the blue that I'm on day 17 of 100% raw or something like that, LOL. One can dream, anyway. =)

To go running or not to go running, that is the question...

So here's my dilemma. Dh has been sick this whole week, so he's been sleeping in until about 10:30am, then going to work at about noon. Today is my day to go running, and it takes me 40 minutes. It's a gorgeous day outside with blue sky and crisp, clear air at 8:20 in the morning as I'm getting the kids ready for school.

Here's the thing. I get back from taking them at about 8:40. Then I have a choice: go back to bed for a nap of about an hour, then wake up to a busy busy day of feeding the kids, working on the house, selling some stuff on Ebay, etc. I'm DEAD tired because Jack basically cried most of the night (he's really sick with a fever & cough) so I didn't get much sleep.

The question is: after my nap, will I wake up super tired anyway? Or will it actually benefit me to get the sleep? OR would it benefit me more to just get up & get my rear end moving on this beautiful day....? Aaack! Decisions decisions........I'll let you know what I end up doing later on. =)