That's me, today. Recently I have been successful in losing 24 pounds. I have 2 more pounds to go before I reach pre-pregnancy weight...and then 14 more after that to reach ideal weight for my height.
Today, I am so overwhelmed. Yes, I have done so much - lost alot while having a little baby...but the rest seems so daunting. Even as I want to up the ante and just go hardcore with it, I see so much ELSE that I need to be doing besides energy and thoughts taken up with losing weight/becoming fit.
I have an almost 8 year old girl here who is home sick, for the 4th day in a row. Various of my other kids have been sick for the past 2 weeks. Baby is sleeping only 2 hours at a time, and has been for the past 3 months or so. My house is in COMPLETE disarray, every single room needs at least an hour's worth of work. Kids are teasing. Kids are crying. We need a van, our current vehicle we do not fit my husband + one child so we have to double buckle OR DH takes a separate car. Our house is a source of constant frustration for me in how small it is, 1100 square feet with 8 children, some of them getting closer to adult size bodies now.
My head is just spinning. I NEED to go take a nap but my house, I HAVE to clean it or else suffer dire consequences.
2 Chron 15:14-15 was the manicorn I picked today, as I am just in desperate need of some help - I can't do this on my own. And the thing is, He doesn't WANT me to!
"Then they took an oath before the Lord with a loud voice, with shouting and trumpets and rams' horns. And all Judah rejoiced at the oath, for they had sworn with all their heart, and sought Him with all their soul; and He was found by them, and the Lord gave them rest all around."
It came to me today, what oath have I taken? The answer: to serve God. Simply, to serve Him.
What is He asking me to do today?
To sacrifice my life and my will for the others, my family. I am longing to go lay in the sun outside. I want to go take a nap and relax, it was once again, a long night last night.
Instead, I am going to take up my cross and follow the life that He has given me, to serve my family and to clean my house.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Realizing my limitations
Lately I've been a bit discouraged and down about the fact that I can't get to certain things. Like I've been trying to paint the interior of my house, telling myself that if I can just do it little by little, it will get done.
Problem is, I am so tired most of the time that the concept of adding in anything extra just makes me want to stare in a daze at the very idea. I think part of it is maybe, that I am working very hard on losing weight and that in itself is exhausting. Mentally, and physically. I am constantly trying to keep myself motivated, texting my friends, trying to read an encouraging article here and there, looking up success stories --- HONESTLY the mainstream public, do not care much about becoming fit. Most people are pretty content to just be an average american, which means usually about 15-20 pounds overweight which is where I fall as well. I have a little less than 15 pounds. It's like a fish trying to swim upstream, trying to just.get.there. So much effort.
I was wondering to myself why it IS so much effort this time around...? I thought quite a bit when I was pregnant, that I simply could not wait until the baby was a little older like 4 months or so, and I could REALLY start making headway with this house. SO many do it yourself projects that I could tackle, want to tackle!
Then I realized that, DUH. With this baby, I started right at 3 months, hard workouts and low calorie - very strict with my eating. With my LAST baby, I didn't even start until what, 5-6 months along? To do that kind of routine, at least. I was eating healthy but the exercise part of it, and the mental part of it, I didn't really start until then.
So I'm actually ahead of the game....but am still chronically tired from a 5 month old who wakes up every 2 hours on the nose, all.night.long.
Problem is, I am so tired most of the time that the concept of adding in anything extra just makes me want to stare in a daze at the very idea. I think part of it is maybe, that I am working very hard on losing weight and that in itself is exhausting. Mentally, and physically. I am constantly trying to keep myself motivated, texting my friends, trying to read an encouraging article here and there, looking up success stories --- HONESTLY the mainstream public, do not care much about becoming fit. Most people are pretty content to just be an average american, which means usually about 15-20 pounds overweight which is where I fall as well. I have a little less than 15 pounds. It's like a fish trying to swim upstream, trying to just.get.there. So much effort.
I was wondering to myself why it IS so much effort this time around...? I thought quite a bit when I was pregnant, that I simply could not wait until the baby was a little older like 4 months or so, and I could REALLY start making headway with this house. SO many do it yourself projects that I could tackle, want to tackle!
Then I realized that, DUH. With this baby, I started right at 3 months, hard workouts and low calorie - very strict with my eating. With my LAST baby, I didn't even start until what, 5-6 months along? To do that kind of routine, at least. I was eating healthy but the exercise part of it, and the mental part of it, I didn't really start until then.
So I'm actually ahead of the game....but am still chronically tired from a 5 month old who wakes up every 2 hours on the nose, all.night.long.
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