Day 12: I'm Baaaaaaack!!!

Thanks guys for checking up on me and for thinking of me while I was gone! I had absolutely THE most incredible time in Arizona, it just seems like a total dream. But here's the thing. I went off of 80-10-10 for six days. I decided that life is too short to be so completely, rigidly, strict - and that sometimes - not often - I will make the decision to make a special exception to the rule. BUT I will always go back, will always keep on trucking with eating raw.

So on Wednesday of last week, which would have been day "12" - I ate 811 all day and then started to eat a little SAD. I wanted to ease into it so that by the time I left on early Friday morning I wouldn't be sick or anything. Honestly? Nothing happened at ALL. I was kind of surprised by that, but I guess maybe I hadn't been 100% for long enough or something. Who knows. So I ate SAD all day Thursday but started each morning with a HUGE green smoothie so I got my greens in every day through Friday.

The weather was soooo awesome at 90-100 degrees and I have a nice tan (and yes, some burn, ugh!) to show for it. Saturday & Sunday we just hung out ALL day by the pools with the palm trees waving in sillouette against the blue sky. But I have to say, it sure is inspiring to CONTINUE ON in this journey when you're at a pool, LOL! I doubt many, if any, of the "babes" there have had five kids and can still manage to look like that, but it was really inspiring for me to look at myself and think. Nope, I am definitely not where I want to be yet.

I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted except I drew the line at meat, and also sugar. I didn't have the bouncy energy I've experienced, but I also felt pretty good. I don't know if I've ever enjoyed food more, LOL! Each meal I absolutely cherished and enjoyed so much, and I think that is the way it should be no matter what kind of diet or food you eat. As opposed to completely stuffing my face, mindlessly eating to keep depression away or something. I did notice though, that as soon as I decided to put my fork into the dessert I got - I felt sluggish, too full, my heart was racing (I didn't sleep much that night). So that's good to know, and I honestly didn't even WANT sugar until the last day we were there, so that's interesting too.

Another thing - I'm so dumb LOL! I thought since we were in a warm place, it'd be full of yummy tropical-like food. DUH we were in a desert! Nothing grows there! Seriously everywhere I looked it felt like a movie where the colors are tan, brown, tan, brown, gray, etc. NO green! I'm used to rich green rolling hills, gorgeous flowers everywhere in the spring - in OR it rains so much that when a sunny day comes to visit, it truly is a beautiful place with all the green & flowers against the blue sky.

So anyway, I did buy strawberries at Wild Oats and enjoyed those - I even brought my vitamix and bought greens and apples the first day. But ordering breakfast to our room, going out to eat at yummy restaurants for EVERY meal was just too good to be true. So my vitamix sat there unused, and cost me an extra $25 in overweight fees when we tried to board the plane to come home. =(

Sigh...so I now weigh 138. I know that's mostly from the TON of salt I ate plus since this is my first day back, I have a good amount of heavy food in my body. I don't look any different, my clothes fit the same - oh, and it felt very weird to be eating all that food and to look down at my stomach and it was still the same! It even felt more flat sometimes. I don't know why....I didn't ever feel bloated.

So I am continuing on at day 12, still shooting for 30 days in a row, so I'll be celebrating at day 42. I am going to plan something special to reward myself with, possibly a new bathing suit because mine is rather saggy-baggy in the back especially. (I had to borrow one for this trip!)

I'm off to read Harmony & Sarah's blogs - I'll edit this post and enter my food for the day, tonight. We need to go shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Wow. So good intentions are never enough. I basically didn't do well at all today. When I wrote the post above, I hadn't eaten yet, and I ate four apples (forced myself) hoping to become saturated in good fruit so I wouldn't be as hungry. My gosh, I was hungry like 45 minutes later! So I ate some raisins, and then from then on I started eating a little SAD here & there and it plummeted to full-blown binges. Like chocolate and cake and gosh, it was awful! I was sitting there dispairing, almost to the point of tears, feeling very discouraged. It's one thing to gain 6lbs and know I'm going to work hard and lose it, so there's hope. It's another thing to be sitting there with a stomach full of awful stuff, knowing I basically probably gained another pound. Geez.

So it was like 5pm, and I decided then & there that this is ENOUGH. No more giving in - it really is mind over matter. I am going to be fasting on water for 24 hours, and at 5pm tomorrow will have my first meal of a green smoothie. 1 lb of greens, plus bananas or apples. That should get me through the rest of the day, then by Thursday I should be almost cleaned out from the binge episode.

Sigh. I wish sometimes I didn't know about SAD vs. raw, or that things like a chicken breast/rice/cooked veggies isn't good for you. But then I think of everything that others have written about - I just finished reading this 80-10-10 testimonial:

Unexpected Gains and Benefits

You HAVE to read it if you're struggling especially - scroll down to where it says "Unexpected Gains and Benefits". True story and it has really inspired me and is inspiring me now, tonight. I can't wait to start over with a clean slate tomorrow! I love how writing this blog inspires me too.

I've never water fasted before, my blood sugar tends to drop and I get shaky if I don't eat. But we'll see how it goes - I can sure guzzle down the water, so hopefully I'll just stay near my bathroom (LOL!) and 5pm will come sooner than I think. I've read that fasting just for 24 hours one day a week is excellent for repairing the body and just leading to awesome health. I wonder? Guess I'll let my body be my guide.