7 1/2 Weeks PostPartum: Sleepless Nights

I can't believe I'm almost to 8 weeks postpartum! Soon after that, 2 months on the 11th. After that I don't know what I'll label my posts - it seems kind of dumb to keep writing 3 months PP, etc. I may start another raw challenge and see where that takes me.

I've been struggling to function with such a huge sleep deficit. Jack wakes up about every 3 hours to nurse now, and there have been many nights where he just won't go to sleep until 2am. He does kind of catnap and I think he's down for the night so I get all settled in, turn out the light and sigh with relief of finally resting, then he wakes up again 20 min. later. Seriously - I can understand why a lack of sleep can be considered to be torture! It's rough sometimes - but I know God made babies SO adorable for that very reason, they just look at us with their little goofy grins no matter what time of night it is, and your heart just melts.

I've been really wanting to exercise but the lack of sleep just doesn't make it possible. I have a million things to do every day just in order to keep this house in a tiny bit of order, and I also have to fit in a nap or two whenever things line up to let me. The energy just isn't there to get my heart pumping and really get into it - I wish I could go for walks, I love walking so much. In the summer I would wake up before DH at 5:30 and go for a 2-4 mile walk in the cool mornings watching the sunset and listening to my ipod. I just can't do that in the dark though, it's too scary. Bummer. But who am I kidding, I couldn't do it anyway, not with the sleep factor.

Last night I tried putting him on his tummy and he slept for 7 hours!! Yikes! I don't know if that's good or bad, probably bad for the nursing factor, but it sure felt soooo nice. Of course I felt like I was going to burst and he never really drank all the milk available today, even now, at 8pm. I could tell he was really full too, with absolutely no interest in drinking more even though there was ample supply! Oh well, probably short lived - but he really seems to love sleeping on his tummy, so cozy and everything.

I FINALLY broke down and bought the "80-10-10 Diet" book by Douglas Graham...I can't wait to read it!!! I've been wanting to buy it for a year now, but it was always just too much money. Finally it's available on Amazon and I was able to buy it from a private person selling it through their site for even less, about $10 less than a year ago. I am a total bargain hunter and you rarely see me buying things at full price, so this suits me just fine! I've heard that it's really easy to read, and that is a plus - I've bought books (expensive books!) on raw before that were completely and totally OVER my head so...I'll let you know what I think of it. What I'm hoping is that it inspires me to become low fat raw, which is what 80-10-10 means (80% carbs, 10% protein, 10% fat) and maybe I'll be able to kick these last 9lbs that just will NOT refuse to budge.

Diet-wise it's been a struggle, but then, it always is. Mostly I'm trying not to focus so much on my food but to focus on other things in my life that I enjoy and look forward to. I subscribe to Netflix and in the evenings you'll often find me nursing, relaxing and enjoying quiet time with a good movie or an episode of a TV series. I look forward to those times and also enjoy reading a good book or purusing through a magazine, and also surfing on the 'net.

I'm working on binging as an emotional outlets - I've done that in the past weeks several times. I feel SO much better all the way around when I don't let my emotions rule, and deliberately choose not to indulge in whatever it is that sounds good at the moment. The cool thing about eating raw for me is that it is a lifestyle - and it really is, since I've been eating almost exclusively this way for about 17 months now. It's pretty much the way I am now, even though I eat cooked once in a while, I always go back to eating raw. Always! I'm so glad for that.

Today I ate:

15 dates
smoothie left over from last night: 4 bananas & 2 oranges - this is DIVINE!!!!
2/3 cup of raw sunflower seeds
1 medium cucumber
1 small red pepper (ate both of these with my 20 mo. old daughter - she's such a raw snacker!)
7 small bananas

Total calories so far: 2087 Google says 2200-2700 calories are required for a breastfeeding mother and it looks like I'm going to reach that number since I'm getting hungry and it's not even 8pm yet. I'll probably have some OJ or an orange smoothie tonight.

Weight-wise, I've yo-yo'd between 140 & 146 in the past 2 weeks....but stayed mostly steady at 143. Which is fascinating to me because for some reason I've developed a weakness for Baja Fresh's nachos. I get them vegetarian with their freshly made nacho chips, black beans, fresh salsa, fresh hot peppers, fresh cilantro, and cheese. It's totally the BOMB but I have a ton of gas afterwards, and feel kind of bleh. I wonder if I would feel better if I eliminated the cheese? Maybe, maybe not - chips don't usually sit well with me so that's probably what it is too. But I had it three times (and these are big helpings) in the past week, but stayed at 143. I also binged on granola bars, like 15 in one day - thank goodness this is a rare occurance for me but it was FUN! LOL.

Anyway, Jack has developed a runny nose and has been more fussy in the past week which I find interesting and kind of an eye-opener. I realized that this little guy was formed in a womb of primarily raw food, and then the same after he was born, nursing from breastmilk primarily raw. So when I eat stuff like that, that is kind of out of whack, he gets it directly....and it probably really doesn't jive with his little pure raw system. So that kind of made me sober up and realize that it is even more important, much more important than losing weight actually, to continue on my raw journey as best as I can.

So I better go wake up the little guy - I'm realizing that if I wake him up for the last three hours of the day that I myself want to be up, then we can maybe go down together and sleep a good 3 solid hours for the first part of the night. You know how it is, just too easy once they're finally down to go do everything you've been wanting to do that day! Then when you're finally ready to go to sleep, the baby wakes up and it's quite a while after that, that he gets sleepy.

Darn it, I've eaten really well today - why did I have to think about & describe those nachos?? Thanksfully my husband is gone this evening and I don't have any way to have them delivered, LOL. There's no way it would be worth waking up my sleeping 20 mo. old just to get nachos.

Yep, OJ it is for me tonight, and I love that feeling of waking up with a light stomach and feeling just that overall "light" feeling in the morning after not eating junk the previous day. It's such a nice reward.