Baby is 2 months old!

I'm am sooooooooo tired right now. I think I'm in a permanent state of bleariness these days. Seriously, my brain just absolutely refuses to work. I try to focus on things, to figure out what people are saying and it's like I just can't wrap my head around it. Feels kind of weird - it seems like my head was so clear while I was pregnant, and then everything just pretty much went to pot after I had the baby. Maybe I should get pregnant again. LOL JUST KIDDING!!!!!!! But it IS weird to think that after my last baby, I got pregnant at 3 months postpartum. That's like, 3 weeks from now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder I was in a state of shock for the first month. (and miscarried at 3 months pregnant)

Right now I pretty much just do whatever it takes to make Jack happy, so basically that means everything revolves around him and when/if he sleeps, when he is hungry, needs changed, etc. That worked great for about the first month & a half, and then all of a sudden in the past couple of weeks he's just gotten very fussy. He cries almost all the time if I'm not holding him, and rare are the times that he'll sit in his chair and gurgle and smile. It's really sad and I don't know what to do - I can't hold him all the time, and wraps/slings just have never worked for me. They hurt my back and I feel really restricted like claustrophobic - I can't get anything done. So basically I just try to hold him until he calms down & is happy, then put him down and try to do whatever I can as fast as I can, and let him cry for a while but not too long, starting the cycle over again.

He's not hungry, he drinks ALOT of my milk, and it's obvious he doesn't want anymore. I nudge his mouth and he just kind of sticks out his tongue like "no, mom, I don't want it". He's never in his life cried himself to sleep, but lately it seems like once he's had a good crying spell under his belt, as soon as I pick him up he sighs in relief and rolls his eyes as if in pleasure (like ahhhh finally I can go to sleep), closing them and going to sleep within minutes with the pacifier.

He does this at night too, only when I put him in his bed he wakes up only to cry again. Several times I've been so tired, so completely at the end of my rope, that I just put him on the couch in the living room and go in my room and sleep. Once I slept for 3 hours (didn't mean to, I just konked out) and woke up with a start, running out to the living room and he was in there still crying although softer, drenched in sweat. Is this normal? Is this what a high maintenance baby is? I don't know....you'd think I would know having six kids but I just don't remember.

I'm thinking about maybe having him checked out by a doctor. He's also had this sort of croupy cry ever since he was 3 weeks old, it's pretty mild and comes & goes. He had a runny nose a few days ago but it's gone now, and no fever. But the crying - it worries me a little bit. Maybe he has something else wrong with him that I don't know about......like walking pneumonia or something. I just know I'm getting really run down, I can't go anywhere or do anything unless I take him with me - and even then, the crying episodes seem to start at the most inopportune times (like in the grocery store, thankfully he has a soft cry).

Weight wise I'm still at 143 almost all the time, but I haven't really been that great about what I eat. I successfully did 80-10-10 for 4 days and then went off, and I just keep trying to beat that, although haven't gotten there yet. I really love 80-10-10, it's like the best ever...if I can just conquer my emotional eating.

I'm going to sign off now, he's crying again and the kids are running around the house like wild, yelling and playing loud. That sort of echoes and gets amplified in your head when you're tired, you know? I think it's going to be an early night to bed for them.....

By the way, a friend of mine (thanks Jen!!) suggested "Baby Wise" which is a book about getting the baby on a routine, and has worked for her for both of her babies. I haven't really even thought about doing something like that until I talked to her today, and I'm hoping it works. It helps to establish their sleeping patterns, including longer sleep at night, and I feel like I'm to the point where that is starting to become a necessity. Because of his low weight still, I wouldn't want to let him sleep through the night, but I have no problem with a good 6 hour stint of solid sleep.